Stop Waiting to Be Great

I remember when I first started thinking of applying to Columbia undergrad -- I was either a sophomore or junior in high school. I remember telling someone where I wanted to go to school and that I was gonna go for it, gonna apply and see what happens.

The conversation that ensued sounded something like this:

Her: You're applying to where?  

Me: Columbia and NYU. 

Her: Umm, how are you gonna pay for it? 

Me: *Shrugs* I dunno. I'll apply for scholarships. Or financial aid.  

Her: Ha! Good luck with that! 

Me: I'll think of something.

And I did. I applied for a New York Times College Scholarship, which I got. And which, quite literally changed the course of my life. And then I applied to Columbia, NYU, and seven other colleges. I got into all of them.

undergrad graduation

I was bold enough and audacious enough to attempt greatness. And it paid off. It worked out in my favor.

Was I scared? Yeah. But I was crazy enough to try. I was crazy enough not to wait till all my ducks were lined up in a row.

I was crazy enough not to wait till the circumstances were better, till I had better recommendations, more money in my bank account, an actual bank account that didn't include putting cash in an envelope and hiding it in my top drawer, and... and... and...

five years later... grad school graduation
(with a three-year-old Aiden)

I was crazy enough to try to be great. And it worked out in my favor.

I miss those days when I felt the fear and did it anyway. Why wait for permission to be great when we can just do the darn thing and make it happen!

On Having Tunnel Vision to Pursue Goals

When I tell ya'll that I was stubbornly and unapologetically focused on starting grad school in order to start making a better life for Aiden and me, I mean it. Wholeheartedly.

Like, I sent in my deposit check to New York University before I received an acceptance letter from Columbia University because I didn't want to miss the NYU deadline while potentially holding out for a Columbia acceptance that could never come. It did come though.

Then, I sent in my deposit check to Columbia before I figured out the daycare, childcare, and/or babysitting situation for Aiden. Because I wasgoing to grad school. And I was going to figure everything else out. Come heck or high water.

I had tunnel vision. Still do! To go get my dreams. To chase after them. With endurance and resilience and grit. And, like I've said before,conquering this is 90% of the battle.

When I tell you that I was stubbornly and unapologetically focused on finishing grad school in order to start my career and start making a better life for Aiden and me, I mean it. Wholeheartedly.

You see, there were times -- many times -- that I had to bring Aiden to class with me because plans for a babysitter fell through. There were times when I had to pull all-nighters to do research and complete reading assignments and write papers because I had to go to class, my part-time job, my internship, or be with Aiden during the day.

You see, there were times -- many times -- when I had to sit Aiden down next to me and give him a shiny toy (or five!) to distract him while I put my head in my books and attempted get some work done.

I had tunnel vision. Still do! And I unapologetically shared that tunnel vision with Aiden. I always say this -- he grinds with me. He works with me. We're in this thing together. We work. Hard. (And we play too. Harder.)

When I tell you that as soon as I decided to leave the toxic relationship and do this single mom thing, I put systems in place to make sure that Aiden (still) gets to experiences all the great things that life has to offer, I mean it. Wholeheartedly.

From cultural events to kid-friendly activities to playing tourists in different countries, states, and cities, to afternoon and weekend extracurricular activities, he's being exposed to many, many different things. Unapologetically.

I had tunnel vision. Still do! To make sure that Aiden can learn how to make lemonade with the lemons that life throws at him. And play the cards that he's been dealt the best way he knows how.

I have tunnel vision. To go get my dreams and fulfill my goals and be the best single mother that I can be. I have tunnel vision. To walk by faith and do the damn thing. Unapologetically.

{This post was originally posted on April 2, 2015. Thank you for supporting Mommy Delicious.}

Persevering As A Student-Parent

It was three weeks before graduation and I had a 25-page paper due by 1 p.m. the next day for my Family As A Context For Child Development class. I absolutely loved this class and learned so much in it. But I was done. Overdone. And I was tired. Over tired. And I just wanted to graduate.

But first I'd have to get through this paper and a few other long assignments, presentations, and finals. That night, after I tucked Aiden in bed at 8 p.m., I cried. No scratch that. I sobbed. A lot. Uncontrollably.  The overwhelming workload and overall stress of being a student momma had gotten to me.

I did the only thing that I knew to do in order to keep my sanity when working out and eating well and staying hydrated with lots of water didn't work. I meditated.... on success and hard work and how far I'd come up until that point.

I graduated from Columbia University with a B.A. in Psychology in 2006 and was pretty well employed. But I decided to go to grad school because I wanted more. More opportunities. More career choices. More money. The things you can do with a Bachelor degree are great, but the things you can do with a Masters degree are phenomenal. At least that's what I thought. And still think.

When I applied for grad school, I made a commitment to Aiden and myself that I was going to see it through come heck or high water. I adopted a "whatever it takes" mentality, and believe you me, it took a lot. 

Head over to The Young Mommy Life to read the rest of this post, particularly how this busy single momma embraced the beauty of perseverance. 

This post was originally published on July 28, 2011. And it still gives me shivers every time I read it. Whew... I can't believe I did it. 

Tunnel Vision

When I tell ya'll that I was stubbornly and unapologetically focused on starting grad school in order to start making a better life for Aiden and me, I mean it. Wholeheartedly.

Like, I sent in my deposit check to New York University before I received an acceptance letter from Columbia University because I didn't want to miss the NYU deadline while potentially holding out for a Columbia acceptance that could never come. It did come though.

Then, I sent in my deposit check to Columbia before I figured out the daycare, childcare, and/or babysitting situation for Aiden. Because I was going to grad school. And I was going to figure everything else out. Come heck or high water.

I had tunnel vision. Still do! To go get my dreams. To chase after them. With endurance and resilience and grit. And, like I've said before, conquering this is 90% of the battle.

When I tell you that I was stubbornly and unapologetically focused on finishing grad school in order to start my career and start making a better life for Aiden and me, I mean it. Wholeheartedly.

You see, there were times -- many times -- that I had to bring Aiden to class with me because plans for a babysitter fell through. There were times when I had to pull all-nighters to do research and complete reading assignments and write papers because I had to go to class, my part-time job, my internship, or be with Aiden during the day.

You see, there were times -- many times -- when I had to sit Aiden down next to me and give him a shiny toy (or five!) to distract him while I put my head in my books and attempted get some work done.

I had tunnel vision. Still do! And I unapologetically shared that tunnel vision with Aiden. I always say this -- he grinds with me. He works with me. We're in this thing together. We work. Hard. (And we play too. Harder.)

When I tell you that as soon as I decided to leave the toxic relationship and do this single mom thing, I put systems in place to make sure that Aiden (still) gets to experiences all the great things that life has to offer, I mean it. Wholeheartedly.

From cultural events to kid-friendly activities to playing tourists in different countries, states, and cities, to afternoon and weekend extracurricular activities, he's being exposed to many, many different things. Unapologetically.

I had tunnel vision. Still do! To make sure that Aiden can learn how to make lemonade with the lemons that life throws at him. And play the cards that he's been dealt the best way he knows how.

I have tunnel vision. To go get my dreams and fulfill my goals and be the best single mother that I can be. I have tunnel vision. To walk by faith and do the damn thing. Unapologetically.

Our Biggest Fans

"Go Mommy... you can do it!"

Those were the words I heard this past weekend while Aiden and I were out bowling with my Godparents and God sister. Every time it was my turn to bowl, without hesitation, he'd faithfully jump up and down, declaring how awesome I was and how great I could be at bowling -- even if I didn't think I could do a good job.

He was definitely my biggest fan.

And the cheerleading didn't start with our little trip to the bowling alley. A few weeks ago, I was giving our living room a facelift by painting the walls in horizontal stripes (it's pretty dope... I'll share pictures once everything is complete), and Aiden was right there with me, cheering me on.

"I like your work, Mommy."

"Umm.... I'm not sure that I like that color, but I still like your work."

"You did a really great paint job, Mommy."

"Wow, Mommy... you did good!"

The cheering goes on and on.

Thing is, here I thought that I am the one who's supposed to be cheering him on. Here I thought that I am the one who's supposed to tell him how much I believe in him, how awesome he is, and what great things he can accomplish if he focuses and puts his mind to it.

But once again, he's taught me about love and life and what unwavering support looks and sounds like. He's witnessed me work hard in grad school, celebrated my graduation with me, watched me go to work and change jobs and get promotions. He's been there with me and has cheered me on every step of the way.

He's definitely my biggest fan.

And for that reason alone, I will push harder than I've ever done before, work smarter than I've ever done before, and go get my dreams like our lives depended on it.

Because it does.

At the end of the day, he's the best part of my day. And I want to make him -- my biggest fan -- extremely proud of me.

A Coming of Age Story on UBLUSH

circa Spring 2013

Once in a while, I have the opportunity to be connected with some pretty dope people. And, for some reason, those pretty dope people profile me on their website. Such was the case in recent weeks when I was profiled by UBLUSH Magazine.

I'm particularly proud of this article because it's raw and real and really shows a coming of age for me. I'm also very humbled and grateful for the article. Thanks so much to the UBLUSH team for featuring me.

image via UBLUSH

If superwoman was a real life character, Alicia Harper would be her. Born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, just like Jay- Z, Alicia “bleeds blue” but for a different reason. Receiving undergraduate and Masters’ degrees from Columbia University in the City of New York – she’s True Blue. Being educated at one of the premiere universities is just the tip of the ice burg for this phenomenal woman. Her feats also include being a dean of students at a charter elementary school, creator of her own blog, Mommy Delicious, featured writer with magazines and online publications, and of course a mommy. Alicia proves that nothing is two great for a visionary woman who has drive and determination. 

Excellence was always the standard for Alicia. Being involved in foster care as a child may not have been easy but Alicia grew tough skin to manage the difficulties of life. At a young age she learned not to fail and that if she wanted more in life she would have to work hard to get it. She knew that she would have to become the author of her own destiny. And she did nothing short of it. As a high school student she was awarded a Times Scholarship recognizing her ability to overcome adversities and successfully manage hardships in life. Though she was accepted to many universities, she experienced the greatest feeling of pride when she received her final acceptance letter – from Columbia. This was her top choice and for Alicia a life changing experience.

Head on over to the UBLUSH site to read the rest of the article. 

Peace and love!

The Year of Progress

One day shy of his sixth birthday

In 2011, I finished grad school and got the two master degrees. In 2012, I had to buckle down, grind through, and work hard until I got the excellent job.

By the time 2013 rolled around, I had one main goal in mind -- progress.

I wanted to challenge myself and make a little bit of progress in love and life and working and writing and this whole single mom thing.

In fact, it was in this year that I upgraded my job and became one step closer to that dream position. And it made me realize that there's no reason for me (or any other young mother or single mother) not to go get our dreams.

Progress.

But it wasn't without a little bit of struggle, ups and downs, bumps and bruises, and hard work.

Progress.

It was in this year that I came into my own as a single mother and gained an immense amount of confidence that I didn't know I had. And it made me realize that I can trust my own instincts when planting seeds in Aiden's life. Or when instilling values in him. Or when teaching him right from wrong.

Progress.

In Puerto Rico

I traveled.

To Philadelphia with Aiden during our spring break. To Atlanta with The Guy. To Puerto Rico with Aiden, where I sat poolside watching my sweet boy swim like a fish, and thanked God for progress. To Connecticut for my friend's wedding. And The Jersey Shore for Labor Day Weekend. I spent a weekend at Geneva on The Lake for The American Dairy Association Blogger Tour and Food & Wine Festival. I was with The Guy and we had a lovely time. Oh, and Aiden and I spent the holidays in the mid-west with The Guy and his family.

This was a big step for me and I'm continuing to learn how to be vulnerable, how to give a little more of myself, how not be so guarded all the time, and how to fully embrace love. Because I deserve it. So yeah... I can officially change my Facebook status to "in a relationship" now. Bam!

(I'm growing up, y'all.)

Progress.

Christmas Day | 2013

I learned when to step up and I learned when to step back by making sure that Aiden has a male mentor to look up to. Something that I learned for sure is that single mothers can create a family for their children. And that children of single mothers can thrive.

Progress.

 

I wrote my heart out and I left pieces of myself in The New York Times and REDBOOK Magazine. I shared my personal style and left a piece of my style in The New York Daily News. In print and online. Bam! I shared my favorite child-friendly hangout spots in NYC and left a piece of myself in Time Out New York Kids. In print and online. Kapow! Aiden started the school year with a new-found confidence, turned six, and rocked it all the way out during the Ugg Australia petitePARADE Kids Fashion Week Show. He's like a total rockstar in the making!

Progress.

Rocking the runway

When I look back, all I can think is... thank goodness for progress. I went through hell with Aiden's other parent, and breaking up, and starting over again. But... progress.

If you're going through hell, keep going. Keep pushing. Keep moving forward. Because it gets better. If 2013 was a testament to anything at all, it was to this simple fact -- life goes on and, if you keep pushing, you'll get better at kicking it's ass.

Promise.

2014, we're coming for you!

Let Go And Grab Something Better

Life is better now..

Sometimes I sit and think about why it took me so long to leave the abusive relationship with Aiden's other parent. I made the absolute best decision I could have ever made and I don't regret it for one second because life is better now.

But, still.

Sometimes I do regret staying as long as I did.

I wish I would have left sooner in order to begin living life to my fullest potential... sooner. 

But I didn't. And I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I felt as though I wasn't worthy of something better -- That I wouldn't find Mr. Right because Mr. Right wouldn't want to date a single mother; That I was somehow damaged goods; that I wouldn't have been able to make it through grad school and land my dream job; that my options and choices had been severely limited.

My perception and thinking were flawed, my self-worth and self-esteem at an ultimate low point. But I knew deep down inside that, in order to experience something better (even if that meant being alone), I needed to let go of my current situation. I needed to get out. Fast. 

When my relationship was finally over with Aiden's other parent, I felt a sigh of relief, as though I had dodged a bullet. But, I'll be honest, at first, the change wasn't easy.

Still, I pushed passed that uncomfortable feeling and embraced the change as best as I knew how. Something better is going to come, I'd tell myself everyday.

And slowly, but surely, I started to live life again. I spent time with friends. I learned how to be a single mother and a single woman. I dated. I finished grad school. I got a new job. (And an even better one on the way.) I lined up a couple freelance writing gigs. I went on vacations. I enjoyed trips and outings and single motherhood with Aiden.

And here I am, about 2 1/2 years later... better, stronger, wiser, healthier. 

Happier.

I still haven't found Mr. Right (yet), but I now know that it's not because I'm a single mother or damaged goods. 

Too many of us are holding on to situations that are no longer serving a purpose in our lives; that are no longer tied to who we are supposed to become. Too many of us are afraid to let go of situations or leave because we are afraid that we won't find something similar (or better.)

But we've got to push pass those feelings. We have to take a leap of faith. Move. Let go. Believe in ourselves. And try harder. It doesn't have to be this way.

There's something better waiting for you on the other side of this. So go get it.

They Don't Teach This in Grad School

I've been hit on at work before. Plenty of times. (Just stating facts here, not trying to say I'm all that or anything.)

I've always been able to maintain my integrity and professionalism, and decline any offers with some level of poise. But last week, something bizarre happened that almost threw me off my A-game...

[photo via]

I'm sitting in my office and my blackberry vibrates. It's a text message from a father of one of my students.

This is a student whose father I've been in contact with a lot recently because he's been going through a phase where he's struggling behaviorally. Basically, homeboy has not been following the rules or trying his best, and me being who I am, I've been working diligently to develop a plan with his teachers and father to get him back on track.

A week prior, the boy (who is in the 4th grade, by the way) is suspended for repeatedly hitting another student. (This is after he was given several reminders to keep his hands to himself.) His father and I have a meeting afterwards and during the meeting, Father Dude mentions that he, "like(s) the way I sound."

A day after the kid returns to school from his one-day suspension, he hits another child in his class. This time, I call Father Dude to speak with him so that we can get him back on track and set him up for success. Father Dude's response? "Well, I can talk to you all day, Ms. Harper, but if you want me to speak with ---,I guess I will."

Umm. Okay.

I ignore this comment and concentrate on the issue at hand. (It's the adult thing to do, no?)

After Father Dude speaks with his son, I take the phone back and let him know that I will call him at the end of the day to give him an update on how the remainder of the day goes.

That evening, when I call Father Dude's phone (as I promised I would), his wife picks up. (Yep, you read that right. Father dude is married.) She tells me that her husband is not around, but that she'll have him reach out to me when he returns from the store. He calls me back and we have a cordial conversation regarding the rest of his son's day. (Presumably the wife was within ear shot.)

Fast forward to the following morning.

I'm sitting in my office and my blackberry vibrates. It's a text message from Father Dude. And it reads thus: "You know I like you Ms. Harper. I was mad she picked up my phone."

Wait. There's more. The plot thickens.

"At the risk of being just a little inappropriate, can I ask you to a dinner for conversation? I would like to know more about you. Please reply."

Umm... a little inappropriate?! Is this what the world is coming to?!

The issue at hand has now shifted from the son's behavior to Father Dude's behavior. This needs to be addressed. Immediately.

I reply, but I leave my attitude out of it. "I appreciate the offer, but it would be unprofessional for me to maintain a relationship with any parent that is outside of the typical academic one. I will continue to support --- academically in any way possible."

I want to say something totally different though. Believe me. But I have to see Father Dude for the remainder of the school year, until his kid graduates and goes off to the middle school.

[photo via]

They surely don't teach how to respond to these things in undergrad or grad school or any type of professional development session I've been to...

What would you have done?

A Year of Inspiration, Style, and Blessings

When 2011 rolled around, I had two main goals: to finish grad school with my two master degrees (check, check!) and get the job that I dreamed of. When 2012 rolled around, I had the degrees, but not the job. Yet. So I had to buckle down, grind through, and work. Hard. Until I got the job. (Check!)

It's a blessing.

It seems as though I've been in a constant state of "Go!" since 2011, but for the past few days, I've been taking the time out to stop.

And take it all in.

And reflect.

I'm blessed.

And this here community is such a blessing to me. (And I hope it is to you as well.)

We've shared a lot in this place and space, and for that, I am grateful.

Way back in January, I shared with you how I've found my "happy." And I challenged many of you to find your happiness within as well. The emails that I received after that post was truly inspiring.

I spent some time thinking about what kind of mother I want to continue to be and how I'd like Aiden to remember his childhood 15 years from now. 

I've taken time for myself by traveling to Miami and indulging in life's little pleasures. I've shown that moms are anything but dull and boring by sharing my fashion and style sense with you and by putting myself first. Sometimes. I've dated. Again. And had fun. Again. And learned some lessons along the way. Again. 

I've continued working with eBay, which led me to the west coast, singing Katy Perry's "California Gurl" as I toured San Fran and drank fine wine.

I also continued writing for REDBOOK Magazine and, in addition to writing online articles a couple times per month, I was published in print as well. And then there was the September issue of Parents Magazine in which I was passionately discussing all things education, educational reform, and the achievement gap.

Speaking of education, I wrote admissions essays, collected recommendations, and braved interviews so that I could get Aiden into a good private school. And for those of you who live in a big city (or know anything about the NYC private school admissions process), you know what that means: I worked. Hard.

Co-parenting failed, but I embraced life as a solo single mom. And it ain't half bad, especially if I continue to learn from hard life lessons along the way. 

And how can I forget modeling a swimsuit on the first day of summer on a double-decker bus all around Manhattan? Or the nod from NY Metro Parents? Or Red Tricycle? Or the collaboration with NY Family Magazine? Fun times!

I got my butt kicked a couple times, but that's alright because I learned the lessons. And shared them, of course. 

I couldn't make it to the press trip in Atlanta with Coca-cola, but my blogging pal YUMMommy represented very well. (Thanks girl!)

Oh yeah, and I've hung out with some celebrities too -- Jessica Alba, Jennifer Hudson, and Soledad O'Brien, to name a few. Pretty epic.

Needless to say, it's been quite a year. 

I share all this to say two main things: children of single parents can thrive and be happy and do well in life. It's possible. And having a baby in your early 20's is not the end of the world, but the beginning of something so wonderful and so monumental. All of your comments, messages, and emails prove it. Everyday.

So, in 2013, let's keep sharing. And let's keep showing 'em what we're made of!

Cheers and high-fives all around!

{I was not compensated for this post. It contains links to posts written in conjunction with the eBay Parent Panel and REDBOOK Magazine, for which compensation is received.}

{Guest Post} Madness, Chaos, and A New Degree

Written by Tami McVey

Things had to change, and change fast. I'm not referring to one of those changes you can carefully weigh the options for, or plan ahead so things go smoothly. I'm talking a life-altering change that's thrust upon you just when you feel some semblance of normalcy with your life and children -- a workplace accident that leaves you with permanent injuries, a suddenly part-time job, a mortgage and two children you support on your own. That was what I faced almost four years ago. Although I had an education in accounting, I had spent years in the manufacturing industry working in warehouse management. Considering I couldn't lift a laundry basket after the accident, I had to think of a new "normal" in a hurry.

About two weeks after the accident happened I realized if my boys and I were going to come out of this on our feet I had to find a new way to make a living. In many ways the injury showed me I hadn't been living up to my potential or been truly happy; I was going through the motions so there would be enough money to pay the mortgage, the bills and to support my sons. Enter business school. I think I was somewhat mad. Two boys, a job (reduced to part time, but a job), an injury, and a house to take care of. I had dreams though, and this was going to happen!

Since the boys were school age, I already had childcare in place so that was one item on the list that could be crossed off. My days started at 5 a.m. and I was home by about 5:30 pm like I used to be when my job was full time, but with homework my days now ended around 1 a.m. for the year of school I needed to get the business courses that would make a good addition to my accounting background.

The best part of all this madness was the routine the boys and I established. Although there was a lot of work and stress involved, we ended up having more quality time together than we did when I was just working. When I got home I would make dinner, we'd share our days and after dinner we would all sit down to do homework. They thought that was pretty cool -- having Mom doing homework with them. They actually worked at theirs for a change! Admittedly, I had to do much of my own once they were in bed, but the hours we spent doing homework together are some of my fondest memories despite all the chaos that was going on while trying to build a new future.

If you're a mom who feels like you have the world on your shoulders and are always struggling to try to make your ends meet, you should consider furthering your education. Not only will it give you a brighter future to look forward to and a huge boost to your self-confidence, it can help you teach your children valuable life lessons and bring you closer than ever.

About the author: Tami McVey is a self-employed freelance writer, mother of two, with a shiny business degree. She's also a contributor to DegreeJungle.com, a resource site for university students and parents.

I Got A New Job

This week I received pretty great news.

I got a job offer. But, not just any job. The job.

The job that's a career-changer. The job that makes you feel like a "real" grown up.

It’s a position as part of the leadership team for a very popular and successful charter school network in NYC and NJ that works to close the achievement gap. I’d be working in an elementary school, directly with the principal and other school leaders. And I’d be supervising the teachers, observing them in their classrooms and providing them with feedback/suggestions to improve their classroom management techniques. I’d also be developing, implementing, and maintaining school-wide programs in order to sustain a positive school culture. Pretty warm-and-fuzzy.

The position combines my love for (and experience with) urban education/teaching and counseling. (And the paycheck makes me smile. A lot. #ImJustSaying)

I was so excited when I got the call from the principal offering me the position that I may or may not have said, "Get outta here! Really?!"

But I digress...

This is pretty much my dream position. So much so that when I finished grad school last May, I added this exact position as something to accomplish while I was putting together my Five-Year Plan. I figured I’d work really, really hard for the next five years or so, hone my leadership skills and all that jazz, and then apply for the position. But, if I can’t see my greatness (even right now), how can I expect others to see it?

FOUR rounds of intense interviews later (one that included me teaching a lesson to a class of summer school students while the principals and school leaders watched from the back of the classroom, taking notes) and here I am.

Success.

I didn’t tell anyone that I was applying for the position. I wanted to trust my own intuition on this one and follow my own instincts. 

So one night, I filled out the long, extensive application. Quietly. Confidently. 

When I had a moment of doubt in my abilities after the first round of interviews, I told one friend: L. Over margaritas at happy hour (there's always a happy hour involved), she encouraged me. She's a Heaven-sent.

And the bottom line is this: I worked really hard to get to and through Columbia – as an undergrad and in grad school. I worked really hard as a NYC public school teacher and as counselor. And the shindigs that I had in between only helped me to hone even more skills.

Proper preparation.

As the saying goes, "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."

I don’t share all of this to toot my own horn. That's not really my style. I share it to show you that dreams really do come true and hard work really does pay off. Always.

And… there’s no time like the present to buckle down, grind through, and pursue your dreams. There's no time like the present to be purposeful with your time and lead a fulfilling life, in every way possible. 

And to think that just 2 ½ years ago my life was like this.

Game over.

Aiden and I are moving onward and upward. 

[A and I walking across the Brooklyn Bridge. Symbolic, in so many ways.]

And walking into our season.

Tips for Balancing Work, School, and Kids

Written by Christine Kane

It’s becoming more the norm these days for adults to want to go back to school and further their education, whether it’s for a job promotion at their current place of employment or to change careers and pursue a profession they love. It’s hard enough to do this once you’re out of college and in a career; however this becomes even more complicated when you add kids into the mix, and whether you’re one parent of two or a single parent, juggling school, work, and kids can be an arduous task to undertake. To be successful at all three you have to plan ahead.

1.     Have realistic expectations
You will set yourself up for failure by expecting to be able to do everything perfectly 100% of the time, so set realistic goals for yourself. At different times different aspects of your life will have to give a little, and that’s ok! It’s all about finding a balance that works for you and your family.

2.     Set a schedule
When you leave everything to chance it’s almost guaranteed that priorities will end up colliding with one another, which is an instant recipe for disaster. Instead, put together a schedule each week that designates certain times for everything. Whether it’s getting up an hour earlier to cram in studying each day, staying up a little later each night so you can study once the kids are asleep, or taking less school hours to ensure that it doesn’t infringe on work and family, you have to find a schedule that works for you and your kids.

3.     Designate a day specifically for kids
If you’re working Monday-Friday then pick a weekend day where you devote the entire day to doing something fun with your kids. If you’re working a more sporadic schedule then pick a day or night when everyone is home, and then do something fun together. As busy as you may be, setting aside time each week to fully devote to your kids will make them feel important and will leave you less stressed about how busy you are the rest of the time.

4.     Regularly check in with your family

To have a successful balance of work, school, and kids it’s important to regularly check in with them and ask them how they think things are going so you have a realistic assessment of if things are working smoothly or not. This is a good time to discuss any upcoming events that need to be added to the schedule, to make sure that no one is feeling neglected, and to see where improvements can be made so that everything flows more efficiently.

5.     Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Your kids may see you as Super Mom – and juggling three huge responsibilities like this means you pretty much are – but you’re still only one person. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from other family members, friends, or even a nanny to help with household tasks or watching the kids. Stretching yourself to thin will only result in feeling burned out and overwhelmed.

About the author:  Christine Kane is from internet service providers. She is a graduate of Communication and Journalism. She enjoys writing about a wide-variety of subjects for different blogs. She can be reached via email at: Christi.Kane00 @ gmail.com.