Wednesday, May 2, 2012

On Learning Hard Life Lessons

{photo via}
Earlier this week I found myself sitting on my girl K's couch at her apartment in Harlem. We were having one of those serious heart-to-heart life-can-really-kick-your-ass-sometimes conversation. As I was talking to her, I found myself reminding her (and myself!) that we've learned a lot so far as young adults. This really helped us put a lot of things into perspective and see that we actually have come a long way. I don't know everything and I'm still learning everyday, but I'm glad that I've learned this much thus far.

Today, I can't help but share a few of those "lessons" with you. So here it goes:

1.  Everyone won't understand why you do certain things. It's cool though. They're not required to "get it." But you should try to understand the motives behind your actions. It's self-awareness. At its finest.

2.  Your intuition probably knows more about your safety than you do. It always has your best interest at heart and it's always right. The sooner you learn to trust it, the better.

3.  Everyone makes mistakes. Including you. Be forgiving of yourself. Learn the lesson. And move forward.

4.  It's okay to express emotional generosity towards others. It doesn't make you weak. It makes you kind. ("Be kinder than necessary" is one of my favorite quotes.)

5.  YOU define your worth and value, not others. And not their opinions of you either. YOU define it.

6.  It's okay to agree to disagree with other people... without being disagreeable. (No need to argue, fight, or try to get people to see your point of view. Sometimes, it's okay to agree to disagree.)

7.  It's perfectly fine to enjoy your personal and professional life... and still be a good mother. It makes you well-rounded.

8.  Giving others the silent treatment will probably get you nowhere. Have the courage to express your thoughts and feelings... without being disagreeable.

9.  "No." is a complete sentence. Learn to use it whenever deemed necessary.

10.  Be humble enough to ask for help before things get too overwhelming.

11.  Dysfunctional love is not real love. There comes a point when the "growing pains" end, and the "pain" pain begins. Learn to recognize when you've reached that point.

What would you add to this list? Kick knowledge!


  1. Trials come to make you stronger. This might be a cliche heard often, but it really is true.

    "Learn from othr people's mistakes..."a saying I like.

  2. The list is on point! I especially love 1, 3, 9, 5...well of them!

    "You can't be everything to everyone at the same time."

  3. OMGoodnesss......... #9 is TRUTH!!!

    Great list!!

  4. Chile.. #1 #5 and #9 are speaking to me!

  5. Trusting my gut has been a hard but very important lesson for me!

  6. I'd is hard..know it..understand it..and move on!

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  8. This:

    3. Everyone makes mistakes. Including you. Be forgiving of yourself. Learn the lesson. And move forward.

    I need this everywhere. It's so hard for me to cut myself some slack

  9. I feel like every time I read you're posts I feel more inspired and stronger, how do you do it?!

  10. # 9 is my fav, it took years for me to learn this. I also had to realize too that not EVERYONE will like me no matter how nice or kind I was. Some people just DONT like you for whatever reason. Glad to say I am over that too, I kicked being a people pleaser to the curb the stamped on it. Done and done! Great post as always.

  11. # 4 is my favorite - I live it - never knew there was a quote for it!.
    Something to add: Be humble - true humility is a blessing for you and others.

  12. I love this...there ARE people who will question what/how/when you do things but you can only do what's good for you and yours!

  13. Loves #2,8, and 9!!! Preach, girl!


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