I Got A Promotion

It was all a dream....

This will be filed under: Black women belong everywhere. I've been selected as the next Elementary School Principal of Achievement First North Brooklyn Prep. 

*hits the dougie*

This promotion comes after 10+ years in the game as a school leader and as a school teacher. After years and years of helping kids fall in love with learning by making school fun and magical and exciting for them. 

After years and years of leading teams with top test scores in the entire state (some years in the top 20, some years in the top 10, and some years in the top 5 for various tests). Where this led to my schools being in the top 1% of the entire state. 

After years and years of transforming different staff cultures across various networks, leading to teachers feeling more happy and valued at work. 

After years and years of transforming the student experience so that FUN is front and center of our school. Because that matters. A lot.

After three years at my current network. After I spearheaded turning around my K-2 team at one school in my network by taking us from essentially the bottom of the network to the top while making school fun for our kids. Because that matters. A lot. 

After leading the charge on revamping the lower school math curriculum. Not just my current school, but for our entire network of schools (across three states). And leading math professional development days for all the lower school leaders in the entire network.

After not even blinking when the powers that be asked me to go to another school in our network that was also in turnaround. And after taking another team to the top of the network.

Again. 

Another again.

During a whole pandemic. 

While making school fun for kids and teachers. Because that matters. A lot. 

But, as they say, some seasons are for sowing seeds and some seasons are for reaping. I'm grateful that I get to be in a season of reaping what I've sown.

One day I'm gonna write a full post about the "twice as good to get half as far" phenomenon. Because: racism. 

And about how white supremacy is one helluva drug that leads to internalized racism and self-hatred. And how it caused another Black woman in a position of power to make slanderous remarks about me and cause harm to me because she was scared and threatened and probably felt as though there was only room at the top for one of us. 

And how it almost cost me the promotion. 

Almost. 

But my work speaks for itself. And my work ethic is unmatched. And people just ended up regretting underestimating me. 

If you don't know, now you know...

(He never said the weapons wouldn't form; He said they wouldn't prosper.)

Not to mention that trashy people are just that: trash. And the amount of women (including Black women and other women of color) who rallied around me and wrapped me in love and light? Those are my people. 

One day, I'll write about it. 

But today? We celebrate.

when your whole school plans a surprise engagement for you...

Now we sip champagne when we thirsty...

I'm humbled by God's grace, honored by this opportunity, and excited to do the damn thing! 

I can't wait to hire more staff that look like the kids and families we'll serve.

I can't wait to create a school where Black and brown kids feel safe to take up space and walk in their fullness. 

I can't wait to create a school that's joyful and engaging and academically captivating... where our Black and brown babies feel loved and cared for. 

I can't wait to create a school that I'd send my own kids to... a school that I needed when I was a kid. 

Listen... they ain't even ready for all this #BlackGirlMagic that's about to takeover.

But I am.

Matter of fact: I been ready.

13 Thoughts About Running 13.1 Miles

Last weekend, I ran the Shape Women's Half-Marathon. Yeah, you read that right. I laced up my New Balance kicks, secured my bib, and ran around Central Park. Twice. And then some. It was the longest distance I've ever run. (My previous longest run was nearly 10 miles.)

Miles 1-7 were good and smooth. I was in a groove and, at an average pace of 10'0"/mi, I felt like Super Woman.

Then it got hot. And hard.

And as it got hard, I started to think lots of thoughts. (Yes, some of them were about quitting.) So... here are 13 life thoughts about running 13.1 miles.

1. The people who say things like, "If you can run 8 miles or 9 miles, you can run 13 miles!" are what life-ruiners are made of. They're lying. #FightMe 

2. Crowds are evil. (I was so through with crowds and ran on the outskirts for pretty much half of the half.) 

3. A few encouraging people are all you need. Really. The hill at 9.5 miles kicked my ass. The hill at 10.5 miles tried to take me out. My headphones gave out at mile 11. At that point, I literally texted HEB to say, "Life hates me." But he texted things like, "Keep pushing" and "You got this" and "You're almost there." That's what kept me going. And the signs that people held up. Which bring me to my next point... 

4. Signs are lifesavers. #BigSignsSaveLives 

5. Hard does not mean impossible. 

6. Slow progress is still progress. It got to the point where I really needed to slow down because the hills were trying to kill me. But I was still moving forward and I was still inching towards the 13.1 mile mark.

7. Focus on yourself and your goals because you are only in competition with yourself. 

8. You don't have to be the strongest. You don't have to be the fastest. You just have to endure for a... little... while... longer. 

9. Beginnings are beautiful and magical and what unicorns are made of. 

10. Middles are rough and messy and murky and muddy. 

11. There's an expiration date for things that are hard. When things got hard, I started to think of crossing the finish line and getting to that 13.1, or the metaphorical "expiration date." So whatever you're going through has an expiration date. Even if you can't yet see the finish line. Which brings me to my next point... 

12. Finishes are glorious. It's up to you to push pass the messiness and murkiness and muddiness so that you can get to your glorious finish. #PointBlankPeriod

13. It's literally marathon, not a sprint. It took me 2 hours and 30 minutes, but I finished. And it felt damn good!

4.0 and Running Goals

I'm officially a runner, y'all!

A couple of weeks ago, HEB and I ran the Al Gordon Brooklyn 4M race with the NYRR and I was able to check off one of my 2019 goals that I didn't even know I had!

Even though it was pretty cold that day and I had to wake up pretty early to get to Prospect Park, I'm happy that I did the race.

At the gym, I've been running 4 miles in roughly 45 minutes, but I wanted to cut that time down by five minutes and finish the race in 40 minutes. Because #goals.

I'm proud to say that my official end time was 39 minutes and 44 seconds with a 9:56 pace per mile.

Not bad at all.

And now I can set a new goal -- to finish off 4 miles at a slightly faster pace. (Emphasis on slightly.)

Also... setting running goals, pushing through (in the cold and early morning) to meet said running goals, and then setting new running goals officially makes you a runner, no?

Onward.

Brick by Brick

How I greeted students after Winter Break

I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), otherwise known as seasonal depression. In fact, even though it's the start of a new year and new beginnings, January is my least favorite month of the year. I hate that it's cold and that it gets dark by 4:00pm and it really affects my mood.

Every year, I sit and complain and wallow in the fact that I really hate January and wish it were Spring already.

But not this year.

This year, I decided to do something -- anything -- to combat my SAD. I decided to move my body.

And so.

I began running. Again.

My first run was 30 minutes and I ran 2.51 miles outdoors during daytime hours, with the sun in my face. Two days after that, I ran 4 miles in 47 minutes. Two days after that, I ran 5.6 miles in 60 minutes. By the time I got to my tenth day of consistently running, I ran 8.1 miles in an hour and 30 minutes.

Not gonna lie: that 8-mile run was hard AF! Around mile 5 or so, I started to feel like I was done! But... I decided to buckle down, get in the zone, and grind through.

Brick by brick.

One step at a time.. one block at a time... one mile at a time.

That's how I got to the proverbial finish line.

NYE with kids be like...

That led me to think about my 2019 hopes and dreams. I have several goals for this year and if I take things slowly, stay the course, and remain consistent, I will be able to look back on the year and realize that I met all of my goals.

Brick by brick.

That's how I got to the proverbial finish line.

If I want my friendships to be healthy, then I need to commit to reaching out to my friends more regularly.

If I want my hair to be strong and healthy (that's real goals, ya'll!), then I need to commit to deep conditioning my hair at lest three times a month.

If I want my savings account to be healthy (for me, that means ten grand that's just for savings), then I need to commit to having automatic transfers to my savings account each month.

If I want my relationship with my children to be positive and healthy, then I need to commit to spending quality, non-interrupted time with them.

Brick by brick.

If I want my to feel mentally healthy, then I need to commit to listening to what my body needs more regularly, and commit to having "me time" a few times each month.

If I want to feel physically healthy, then I need to commit to moving my body a few times each week.

If I want to establish a healthy work-life balance, then I need to commit to leaving work on time at least three times each week.

If I want to minimize my evening stress, then I need to commit to doing one thing that takes my stress away. For me, that's meal prepping on Sundays, which means that dinner is ready to go each night and all we have to do is heat it up.

Brick by brick.

One step at a time; one block at a time; one mile at a time.

One day at a time; one week at a time; one month at a time.

I can do this...

Brick by brick.

A Note to The Graduates

Me, with my fourth grade team

Last week, I had the pleasure of addressing the fourth grade students at our school graduation. I wrote a pretty good speech. In my head. While I was in the shower. Then, I got out of the shower and totally forgot the speech. Ha! Luckily, some of it came back to me and I was able to deliver some inspiration to the masses. Turns out, it applies to big people as well so read on and be inspired.

Good morning, parents, teachers, friends and family members, and good morning graduates! We’ve been preparing for this day all year, and yet, I can’t believe that it’s finally here. Scholars, I’m going to miss so many things about this fourth grade class:

High heel parties in my office with [name redacted].

Snacks and stories in my office with [name redacted] and [name redacted].

Taking trips to Dunkin Donuts with [name redacted], [name redacted], [name redacted], and so many more of you.

Practicing cartwheels in the hallway with [name redacted] and [name redacted], which I still haven’t perfected. I’m sure we probably disrupted a few second grade lessons in the process, but the laughs and good times made it all worth it.

Talks with [name redacted] about how my children are doing.

And helping many of you solve problems throughout the year.

To [my principal] I’ve learned so much from your leadership these past couple of years and it’s truly been an amazing experience working with you. Thank you.

To the wonderful fourth grade teachers, I can’t think of another group of educators that I would've wanted to go through this year with. The way you love your scholars so fiercely, the way you reflect and self-correct, the way you make sure that every scholar reaches his or her fullest potential is truly incredible. You push me to work harder, to work smarter, and to be a fearless leader. Cheers to Team Summit! [That's an inside joke.]

Graduates, people ask me all the time how I do this job. How I keep up with the demands of this position, especially when I have two children of my own at home... how I keep up the stamina... how do I make this sustainable? But the question isn’t how, it’s why.

Why do I do this job? Well, just look around. Each of you inspire me to be a little bit better every single day. To be better today than I was yesterday. Because you deserve my best. I’ve found my purpose; I’ve found my why. Every morning when I wake up at 5:30am, I remember why I do this job and it pushes me to want to be excellent.

So scholars, remember your why. As you leave our school, as you go through middle school and then high school… as you weave in and out of friendships and try to find your people… as you stumble and fall and get back up again… remember your why.

It won’t necessarily make things easier – we already know that from having to press through [this year]. Things never get easier, but you... You get better.

I can’t wait to see where you all land in 10 years, 15 years, or 20 years because I know it’ll be someplace amazing. Remember your why. It may not make things easier, no. But it’ll make it worth it.

Now…. go forth and be great. Because you already are.

Cheers to the class of 2029.

Obviously I took out names and all identifying information. Why'd you think?

On Failing Gracefully and Falling Forward

A few years ago, I wrote about my success. More specifically, I wrote about what happens behind the success. You see, folks see when I “make it,” when I get to the next level, and when I have the opportunity to check another goal off of my “Things I Want to Achieve in Life” list.

You guys share in my success. You celebrate with me. You get excited with me. And I must say, all of this is pretty awesome.

But I also share my struggles, my setbacks, and my failings. Because you need to see what goes on behind the scenes. You need to see how many times it was a “no” before it was a “yes”. You need to see how many times I was thisclose to quitting before I had a major breakthrough. You need to see how long I stood still before I leveled up.

And that’s exactly what happened earlier this year. I was recently not chosen for a position/promotion that I feel, scratch that, know, I would do well. When I found out the not-so-good news, I was sad. Disappointed. And kinda stuck. I was in a “Well what am I gonna do now?” mode for quite some time.

I wallowed.

I sulked.

I even withdrew.

But… I didn’t stay there. In that space.

The way this life is set up, we’re expected to feel like failures when we fall down. But whatever happened to taking that failure and learning from it? Whatever happened to failing gracefully and falling… forward?

So that’s what I decided to do. I decided to get up, dust myself off, and strategize my next move. How, exactly, am I going to get from here to there? What do I need to learn? What do I need to unlearn? What do I need to master? What skills and tools do I need to work on in order to be an even stronger candidate the next time?

After a couple email exchanges and video conference calls with the hiring team (that I initiated), I feel like I have solid things to work on moving forward.

I could have easily continued to beat myself up over this failing. But I didn’t. Instead I decided to fail, gracefully. And fall, forward.

Now… the next time I write about this position, it will be to share the success with you. Beat your understanding on that.

Stop Waiting to Be Great

I remember when I first started thinking of applying to Columbia undergrad -- I was either a sophomore or junior in high school. I remember telling someone where I wanted to go to school and that I was gonna go for it, gonna apply and see what happens.

The conversation that ensued sounded something like this:

Her: You're applying to where?  

Me: Columbia and NYU. 

Her: Umm, how are you gonna pay for it? 

Me: *Shrugs* I dunno. I'll apply for scholarships. Or financial aid.  

Her: Ha! Good luck with that! 

Me: I'll think of something.

And I did. I applied for a New York Times College Scholarship, which I got. And which, quite literally changed the course of my life. And then I applied to Columbia, NYU, and seven other colleges. I got into all of them.

undergrad graduation

I was bold enough and audacious enough to attempt greatness. And it paid off. It worked out in my favor.

Was I scared? Yeah. But I was crazy enough to try. I was crazy enough not to wait till all my ducks were lined up in a row.

I was crazy enough not to wait till the circumstances were better, till I had better recommendations, more money in my bank account, an actual bank account that didn't include putting cash in an envelope and hiding it in my top drawer, and... and... and...

five years later... grad school graduation
(with a three-year-old Aiden)

I was crazy enough to try to be great. And it worked out in my favor.

I miss those days when I felt the fear and did it anyway. Why wait for permission to be great when we can just do the darn thing and make it happen!

On Having Tunnel Vision to Pursue Goals

When I tell ya'll that I was stubbornly and unapologetically focused on starting grad school in order to start making a better life for Aiden and me, I mean it. Wholeheartedly.

Like, I sent in my deposit check to New York University before I received an acceptance letter from Columbia University because I didn't want to miss the NYU deadline while potentially holding out for a Columbia acceptance that could never come. It did come though.

Then, I sent in my deposit check to Columbia before I figured out the daycare, childcare, and/or babysitting situation for Aiden. Because I wasgoing to grad school. And I was going to figure everything else out. Come heck or high water.

I had tunnel vision. Still do! To go get my dreams. To chase after them. With endurance and resilience and grit. And, like I've said before,conquering this is 90% of the battle.

When I tell you that I was stubbornly and unapologetically focused on finishing grad school in order to start my career and start making a better life for Aiden and me, I mean it. Wholeheartedly.

You see, there were times -- many times -- that I had to bring Aiden to class with me because plans for a babysitter fell through. There were times when I had to pull all-nighters to do research and complete reading assignments and write papers because I had to go to class, my part-time job, my internship, or be with Aiden during the day.

You see, there were times -- many times -- when I had to sit Aiden down next to me and give him a shiny toy (or five!) to distract him while I put my head in my books and attempted get some work done.

I had tunnel vision. Still do! And I unapologetically shared that tunnel vision with Aiden. I always say this -- he grinds with me. He works with me. We're in this thing together. We work. Hard. (And we play too. Harder.)

When I tell you that as soon as I decided to leave the toxic relationship and do this single mom thing, I put systems in place to make sure that Aiden (still) gets to experiences all the great things that life has to offer, I mean it. Wholeheartedly.

From cultural events to kid-friendly activities to playing tourists in different countries, states, and cities, to afternoon and weekend extracurricular activities, he's being exposed to many, many different things. Unapologetically.

I had tunnel vision. Still do! To make sure that Aiden can learn how to make lemonade with the lemons that life throws at him. And play the cards that he's been dealt the best way he knows how.

I have tunnel vision. To go get my dreams and fulfill my goals and be the best single mother that I can be. I have tunnel vision. To walk by faith and do the damn thing. Unapologetically.

{This post was originally posted on April 2, 2015. Thank you for supporting Mommy Delicious.}