2011 Holiday Gift Guide for Her {And A Fresh and Sexy GIVEAWAY}

Manhattan's most celebrated department stores have unveiled their scenic holiday windows, festive party invitations are hitting my inbox at lightning speed, and Starbucks is serving up tasty drinks in their "red" cups. You know what that means? It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas (Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, did I miss anything?)

And I'm beginning to feel the holiday frenzy full force -- Which parties do I hit up? When do I book Aiden's holiday photo shoot? What's the best gift to get my gal pals? So many fun decisions to make.

Earlier this week, I gave you a little preview into this post when I stated that wine and jewelry make for great Holiday gifts. Because they do. Now, without further ado, here are my other picks:

Flip Video Ultra HD

This baby is so much fun for capturing those precious, silly, and joyous moments. It combines Flip Video's signature shoot-and-share simplicity with the power of vivid HD video. And it's super light, small, and compact so you can carry it anywhere. Buy it new on eBay.

Kris Jenner... And All Things Kardashian

{L to R: Melissa Gerstein, Raina Seitel,
Yours truly, Denise Albert}

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of joining the lovely Moms And The City (pictured above) for an intimate gathering and discussion with Mama Jenner herself. Say what you will about the Kardashians, but Kris Jenner is a mastermind pimp Manager (Momager) who has created a multimillion dollar brand. The Kardashians are everywhere (including my nails, in a festive red kolor) and you can't knock her hustle. Learn her secrets through her book, which is an easy read. Buy it new on eBay.

Apple iPhone 4S

Confession: I bought this phone. For myself. For Christmas. Before I even purchased a single gift for anyone else. Including Aiden. (Sometimes you just gotta be selfish.) It arrived last night and although I haven't set it up yet, I suspect I'm going to be in love. Buy it new on eBay.

Spa Gift Card

We all know that I love a good spa treatment. What busy and stressed gal doesn't? This holiday season, give the gift of wellness with a spa gift card. Buy it on eBay.

Michael Germain Sexual Fresh Eau de Parfum

A few weeks ago, I was sent this perfume when it launched (along with Sexual Sugar, which made it's debut last year.) It's equal parts fruity, floral, sexy, and, well fresh without being overwhelming. It has top notes of ruby bergamot, and ginger, and there are hints of pink peony, white tea, and magnolia. I was so pleased with the scent! So much so that I'm giving away a bottle to one (1) lovely Mommy Delicious reader! Woot! Just leave a comment and one winner will be chosen via random.org on Tuesday December 6th. The perfume is available at Macy's and Bloomingdale's, but you can also buy it new on eBay.

Good luck, lovelies! And happy holiday shopping!

WINNER: Number One -- YUMMommy! Yay! Congrats... look out for an email from me.


{Disclaimer: As an eBay Parent Panel Ambassador, this post is being sponsored by eBay. Also, I received bottles of Sexual Sugar and Sexual Fresh from the company as part of their launch campaign. The opinions and gift ideas are all my own.}

Unleash Your Inner Vixen and Let's Get Naked!

Not naked in that sense, lovelies. Although... I'm pretty sure you guys are all very sexy underneath your clothes. So, maybe next time. This time, however, I was thinking more along the lines of wine. Red wine. Naked Winery's Vixen Syrah red wine.

They say love makes the world go 'round. That's true. But alcohol makes it go 'round twice as fast. And good tasting alcohol? Well, that's just the basis for setting some type of record. I experienced it firsthand over Thanksgiving Holiday as I pretty much drank the entire bottle of Vixen Syrah all by my lonesome.

Like all fine wine, Vixen Syrah gets better with time. She ages well for 5-7 years. Clearly, I couldn't wait that long. I had to have her. Right then. Right there. And can I just say... wowsa! She was good. I think I was able to drink so much of it because I'm a closeted alchie it seems so light at first. But then, in true vixen fashion, it comes on strong with hints of blackberry and cherry. And raspberry, which adds to it's rich, dark, sexy color.

Naked Winery's Vixen Syrah makes for a nice hostess gift this Holiday season with all the festive parties taking place and whatnot. She also makes for a great gift to a fellow wine lover (like me). Or a gift for that special someone you're dating if you want to, ahem, get them in the mood. If you're going at the Holidays solo this year like yours truly, Vixen Syrah is a lovely way to toast to your awesomely dope single life with your awesomely dope single gals.

Now it's your turn to unleash your inner vixen! Ooh-la-la! The good 'ol folks at Naked Winery are graciously offering Mommy Delicious readers a 30% discount off of Vixen Syrah. Simply click the link and enter the discount code "single" at checkout. 

...And I'll drink to that!

Cheers!

{Disclaimer: This post is being sponsored by Naked Winery. I was also provided with a bottle of Vixen Syrah to facilitate the review. All opinions expressed herein are my own.}

Thanksgiving Fashion

This Thanksgiving, there was certainly lots of reasons for me to be grateful. Not only because of what I outlined here, but also because it was my second Thanksgiving as a single momma. And I survived. And so did Aiden. (We're that fabulous.) Man, what a difference two years makes!

From drinking loads of red wine, baking a sweet potato pie that was, well, sweet, playing a game a Taboo that got really intense, and telling endless [drunk] jokes, Thanksgiving at my apartment went off without a hitch. Good times, my friends. Good times.

And then there was the fashion...

{Blouse: H&M; Jeans: American Eagle;
Bag: Urban Outfitters; Boots: Colin Stuart;
Earrings and ring: Aldo Accessories;
Nail Polish: OPI Kardashian Kollection;
Lipglass: MAC Plum Fun}

After Thanksgiving Aiden may or may not have asked me when I was going to get married. And there may or may not have been a pretty intense argument that involved my immediate family members. But what else can you expect when turkey, alcohol, and feelings are involved? (Another post for another time.)

Happy Mode Monday! What did you wear for Thanksgiving?

Gift A Wish Come True

'Tis the season for giving, Lovelies! And that usually means 'tis the season for running all around town or perusing your favorite online sites in order to find the "perfect" gift for a special someone, be it a family member or a romantic partner.

While I'm still in the midst of making my Christmas list (and checking it twice), and getting together a Mommy Delicious Holiday Gift Guide, I wanted to get this out to you just in time for Cyber Monday (in case, like me, you didn't participate in take advantage of Black Friday).

Thankfully, on Cyber Monday we can shop from the comfort of our couches at home. Or desks at our offices (shh... don't tell anyone.)

For those of you looking for a gift for that girly-girl, accessory junkie you know and love, Ice.com has a pretty sweet "Wish Pendant" necklace (and deal!) today. With "its shimmering white diamonds that light up the gleaming sterling silver pendent," this 18-inch necklace ($125) is delicate and feminine and a sight to be seen! When I'm heading to networking or socializing events, I love statement necklaces. Sometimes big ones. The "Wish Pendant" is not that. Instead, it's more of a sophisticated piece of jewelry. One that I tend to wear when I'm going to work or when I'm meeting with clients. It makes me elegant and mature.

Pretty, right?

Ice.com is graciously offering Mommy Delicious readers an exclusive Holiday discount where you can take $25 OFF at their website. Simply click the link and enter the discount code "1Real" at checkout.

Happy Cyber Monday and happy shopping!

{Disclaimer: This post is being sponsored by Ice.com. All opinions expressed herein are my own. If it's not, it's in quotation marks.}

Grateful

A few weeks ago, I posted on Twitter, “I tried to count my blessings today, but kept loosing count.” They are THAT abundant. So I’ll just leave it at this: I am blessed. Beyond blessed. And beyond measure.

I make it a point to be aware of my blessings, to be aware of where my life was and where it is now, and where it could have been instead. And so, no matter what things may happen, or what my mood is like on any particular day, this acute awareness helps me to remain grounded. And joyful. Always.

I’m grateful for my career (my day job and my freelance career). I’m grateful that I’m learning more and more about myself everyday and learning that I’m capable of so much more than I thought I was. I’m grateful for growing pains and that I am coming into my own, slowly but surely. I’m grateful for health and preservation. I’m grateful for endurance and strength. I’m grateful for trials. I’m grateful for triumphs.

I’m grateful for Aiden. I'm grateful that he made me "Mommy Delicious." And that this journey called [single] motherhood is turning out to be more than I could have ever fathomed. It’s ineffable.

I’m grateful for this community. For you and you and you. For your comments, your “likes,” your tweets, your emails, your messages, your love. I’m so happy that I started a blog and was able to “meet” you through it.

I don’t take anything for granted. I know how blessed I am. I know how favored I am. I know that God always, always, always looks out for my best interest. And my family’s too. And my friend’s too. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

So on today, while I’m baking that sweet potato pie and feasting on that delicious turkey and enjoying red wine in copious amounts, I’m taking a moment to reflect on blessings. Abundant blessings.

And I’m taking a moment just to be…

Grateful. 

Happy Thanksgiving, Lovelies!

Let's Keep Our Kids Safe Online

Allow me to interrupt our regularly scheduled postings to take a moment to talk about something very important -- our children's safety. Online safety. I specifically thought this would be a good time to dive into the topic of Internet safety because we're about to be right in the thick of the Holidays (where the eff did the time go?!) and with vacations and schools being out and whatnot... there's no time like the present. Right?

If you're a parent of a child who is old enough to surf the web on his/her own, now's the perfect time to have "The Talk" with them. No, not the sex talk (we'll touch back on that topic again soon. Promise.) But it's a great time to have the "online safety talk." A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to have a phone chat with the folks over at Trend Micro and I'm here to share some great info with you (in a mere moment).

Did you know that 83% of parents claim to be very concerned about what their children are exposed to online, yet only 30% report visiting their child's social media profiles?

Well... now you know!

I'm not saying to stalk their online activity (although that might be a bit fun. At first.) But here are some things we can do (tips brought to us via Trend Micro's eGuide, The Online Protection Talk):

(*Please note: you don't need to be a technology guru to have "The Talk," but you need to have a basic understanding of threat types and terminology.)

1. Establish a general sense of trust with the kiddies. This is especially important because we don't want them to feel as though we are judging them for sharing feelings or telling the truth. (But... we might judge them, just a little bit. KIDDING!)
2. Be sure to state that there are more positive and fun things to do online than negative and harmful ones, but that as parents, we still have to tell it like it is. 
3. Remember that unwanted advances can happen online and in real life and we must be prepared. The kiddies need to understand that inbound threats can happen without provocation or even as a result of totally innocent browsing. So sad, but so true. Be sure to tell them to alert you or a person in charge should this occur. 
4. Take steps to keep inappropriate content away from your family by setting and enforcing rules. For instance, you can insist that kids use their computers in a common area of the house as well as limit their time on the computer. There are also computer security software programs like Trend Micro TM Titanium TM 2012 that'll allow users to set time limits for specific people. 
5. Be sure to tell your child to let you know immediately if he/she has ever been a victim or a witness of cyberbullying. This is a serious and potentially dangerous form of online contact that needs not be ignored.
6. Always tell your child that just as they are not allowed to talk to strangers in real life, they should not open or share unexpected or strange looking emails that arrive in their inbox.
7. Please, please, puh-lease let the kiddies know that anything (ANYTHING) that they post online can be public information. Like, forever. Like, not only can friends read it three weeks from now, but so can teachers. And three years from now, so can relatives. And 13 years from now, so can potential college admissions offices. #ImJustSaying... 

There are tons of other helpful tips from the Trend Micro eGuide, The Online Protection Talk, so if you're interested, I'd suggest you check the link and read up on it for yourself. And your kid. And your family. 

(You're welcome.)

{Mommy Delicious was not compensated for this post. I just think the topic is important enough and useful enough to all of us. You?}

Working the Momtrends Runway in Lands End Apparel

There must be something about this time of the year that makes the inner model in this delicious mommy come out. Seriously. Last year, I made my modeling debut on The Nate Berkus Show (yes, on national T.V.) and it was a blast. This year, I kept it a little more close to home. I wasn't exactly on television, but I was on camera. (My digital camera, that is.)

The gorgeous Nicole of Momtrends (my other Freelance Writing job) asked me to be apart of her last event by modeling Lands Ends' latest apparel. And of course, I was game! So last week, I rushed on over to the Lands End Show Room in Midtown Manhattan, got all dolled up courtesy of the incredibly talented Makeup Artist, Evy Drew (seriously, my makeup was flawless!), and then got styled in head to toe Lands End apparel. Yeah, I was living the life, if only for one night.

If you're looking for fun and fashionable Holiday outfits (with longevity), be sure to visit the Lands End website. I mean, really? How 'bout this outfit?

Okay, so the pictures are a bit blurry. (Damn you, Coolpix), but you get the gist of it, don't you? I anticipated that you'd be nodding "no," which is why I'm including pictures of the clothing off of the Lands End website.

How 'bout this silk bow blouse in ivory?

How 'bout this cotton cashmere embroidered cardigan?

How 'bout the ballet flats in gun metal?

Who knew Lands End was so fashionable?! I am thoroughly impressed!

And just for fun, here's a picture of the rest of the models with Nicole herself:

{L to R: Nancy @Hip2Housewife, Nicole @Momtrends,
Yours truly, Kerri @SavvyMomNYC}

I'm loving Nancy's and Nicole's dress and Kerri's wrap -- all Lands End, baby!

{Disclaimer: I was not compensated for this post. I received the clothing from Lands End in order to showcase them at the event. Event attendees received a gift bag from Lands End.}

Redbook Magazine + Mommy Delicious = Total Sweetness

A few weeks ago, I caught myself having a conversation about the usual stresses of life -- I’d fallen behind on some things, I had several emails that I needed to respond to, I didn’t want to plop Aiden in front of the TV for a third day in a row just so I could squeeze it all in and bang it out really quickly, blah, blah, blah... You know the drill. 

After my mini rant, the rest of my conversation went a little something like this:

Her: And they want you to write for Redbook?

Me: Ummm… yep.

Her: About what, exactly?

Me: Ya know, motherhood. Young motherhood. Single motherhood. Dispelling the myths about young, single parents by talking about how “we totally got this” and can do a good job at it while juggling other things.

Her: Kinda like you’re doing right now?

Me: *blank stare*

Seriously though, I’m incredibly humbled and honored that I was chosen to be apart of the Redbook Magazine Blog, The Motherboard and I’ll be in great company with some other awesome Writers. It's always been my dream to write with a major magazine and I’m really, really psyched to be writing on the issues/lifestyle of younger, single parents, since, let's face it, we're sometimes glossed over in mainstream media. So… yay!

The Motherboard will be launching on November 30^th so be on the lookout for it. (Of course, I’ll let you Lovelies know when my first article goes live.) This delicious mommy (Writer) will be contributing one article per week, so when you don’t catch me over here, come hang with me over there.

If you have any topics that you’d like me to touch upon, shoot me an email or leave ‘em in the comments.

I’m super psyched (did I say that already?!).

It’s gonna be so dope.

High-fives all around.

Do You Know Your Level of Self-Awareness?

Every morning, after hitting the snooze button for the third time, I drag myself out of bed, get myself together (like, all the way together), and wake my baby Aiden up. I always make sure that his clothes are neat and pressed, that his hair is neat and brushed and that his shoes are neat and cleaned. Oh, and I force feed him breakfast. Because it’s the most important meal of the day, of course.

Then, I take Aiden to school dressed in my business casual finest, with my "hair done, nails done, everything done" done.

I walk in his school building and then into his classroom with my head up and shoulders squared attempting to exude a confidence I’m not always sure that I have. And on days that I feel particularly doubtful, I feign confidence. Like it's nobody's business. Sometimes you just have to fake it until you make it.

I help him settle down and check in with him to be sure that he knows I’m rooting for him. Always. And forever. Especially on days when he looks like this:

{Aiden, on the 1st day of Pre-K,
looking quite nervous}

I try to give him the confidence that he needs so that he can be his best self. Always. And forever. In fact, I often lean into him, give him the biggest hug and kiss ever, and let him know that I expect him to give his best. (Yes, you can say that to a 4-year-old. It's quite alright.) 

Can’t lie to you, I often feel that as a young mother and a single mother, I need Aiden to be his best. The statistics against a child of a young, single parent ain’t pretty. And the last thing I need are for his Teachers to dismiss him as a statistic. No way. No how. Not for my baby. He will rise above it. Always. And forever. Even on days when he feels less than stellar.

As I make my way over to his Teachers to fill them in on anything we need to discuss, I can’t help but feel hyper-aware and super-conscious of the fact that I am a young mother. And a single mother. And that somehow Aiden is a reflection and extension of me. So much so that his "bad" days become my bad days and his proud moments become my proud moments.

I won’t expect mediocre work from Aiden. Not even at the Pre-Kindergarten level. He’s capable of more. Even at the Pre-Kindergarten level. I’m not talking about coloring in the lines or sitting still through a fourth reading of Eric Carle's, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. I’m talking about having respectful manners and asking higher-ordered thinking questions and being caring towards his peers and being the critical thinker that I know he is. Always.

Maybe it’s because I’m his mother and I love him dearly. Maybe it’s because I want the best for him. Always. Maybe it’s because the statistics of young boys diagnosed with ADHD make me sick to my stomach.

Or maybe it’s because I’m just super-conscious and self-aware of the fact that I am a young mother. And a single mother. And a Black mother. And I don’t want others to only see THAT and use it to determine Aiden’s fate.

What about you? What are you self-conscious about? 

First Date Deal Breakers

She's just not that into him...

Yes, there are many. And I've experienced some of them first hand. So have some of my friends. And so, I've written about it over on the HowAboutWe.com Dating Blog, also known as The Date Report.

Check the link to head on over to the article. Facebook "likes" and shares are greatly appreciated. So are tweets to Twitter. (I know, I'm pimping myself. Again.)

Enjoy the article, Lovelies!

{Tips For Baby Feeding} Open Up Your Mouth and Eat This. Now.

Thanks to Plum Organics for sponsoring my post about tips for baby feeding magic. What if you let baby choose what's for dinner? Check out their cute "Quest for Yum!" video and see what happens!

A few weeks ago, we got some tips and tricks for cooking with children. But that's only half of the battle. Getting kids to actually eat the food can sometimes prove to be Mission Impossible. Luckily we're smarter than our kiddies (hopefully), and we can find ways to get them to eat without saying things like, "Open up your mouth and eat this. Now" or "They'll arrest me if you don't eat." Hopefully.

Aiden is one of the pickiest eaters that I know. He even examines his food (all of it) and if it looks remotely odd to him, he won't eat it. At all. Needless to say, meal time used to be a pain in my ass constant power struggle, but it taught me a few things along the way (always a lesson in every situation, right?). Here are a few tricks that I learned. Hopefully it'll help you combat some meal time issues if you have a picky eater like me.

Save The Sweets For Last:
Back when Aiden was just beginning solids somewhere around 4-5 months (ahh, memories...), I introduced vegetables before introducing fruits. It just made more sense for me to feed the kid something that tasted more bland. And it made him grow accustomed to the taste of vegetables. For all he knew at that point in his life, all solids tasted as such. That is until I introduced bananas.

Mix It Up:
Once I introduced bananas, it was a wrap. Aiden only wanted to eat bananas, so in order to get him to eat his veggies, I mixed them up with sweeter fruits. I'm sure you know this already, but in case you don't, it works like a charm.

Blend It In:
To the untrained tongue, mixing fruits and veggies will work wonders. But, once your infant/toddler gets a little older (and wiser), they're more likely to notice. And they may refuse to eat it. Fret not, though. You're not totally screwed. This is why they invented purees. Pureeing is great because you can sneak add loads of healthy options in classic kid-friendly dishes. Broccoli in mac n' cheese? Don't mind if I do!

Give The Appearance Of Choices (my favorite tip):
Toddlers and preschoolers like to feel empowered. (Actually, everyone likes to feel empowered, but that's another post for another time.) Said toddlers and preschoolers like to feel as though their opinions matter and as though they have a say in things. And they should have a say. Most of the time. But if it were up to most of them, they'd eat Oreo cookies or cheese puffs all day (or is that only my son?). I like to give Aiden, what I call, the appearance of choices. I'll say something along the lines of, "Would you like string beans or broccoli?" And then he decides. He's still getting something healthy in there and he feels as though he helped decide what he gets to eat. And he did. Sort of. Total win-win.


For Active Little Ones... Read A Book:
Sometimes it's not that Aiden doesn't like the dish, it's that he's too active and wants to get into too many other things. Eating then becomes a necessary evil to him because he'd rather play. To combat this, I always allow him to pick two of his favorite books, and I read them to him while he eats.

When All Else Fails... Bribe:
No, really. Bribery works wonders. You should try it sometime. Now that Aiden's a preschooler and examines every frigging inch of his food, I really save the sweets for last. Aiden loves Popsicle (or "pot-skittles," as he says), and he especially loves it after dinner. "Finish your food and then you can have a Popsicle," I say to him. "Okay," he replies. And he finishes. And he gets a "pot-skittle," Judge as you may, but... SCORE!

The good ol' folks at Plum Organics is also helping us find tips and tricks for feeding our kiddies, and it's all beginning with this video, "The Quest For Yum!" Check it out (it's super cute) and share your thoughts.

Happy Feeding!

{I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. To learn more about Plum Organics, visit their Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/PlumOrganics.}

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby {Barely There Underwear Review and GIVEAWAY!}

Okay, so we’re not really going to talk about sex. Let’s just talk about underwear. That’s still pretty sexy, no?

A few weeks ago, along with a few other Bloggers, I had the pleasure of having lunch at the Barely There offices in Midtown Manhattan to preview their newest bras and undies. The event was hosted by the cute and funny Kimberly Gambale and Christina Scale, the lovely ladies of the reality show Jersey Couture (Oxygen Channel).

Not only did the event entail a “runway show” of Barely There underwear, but also a mini-session on how, when, and where the under garments are best worn. Barely There makes bras, panties, and shapewear that are free of ruffles, wrinkles, crinkles, lines, tags, and seams. It makes for very comfortable intimate apparels and the perfect foundation to stylish outfits.

During our mini-session, we had the opportunity to learn all about the CustomFlex Fit Collection (discussed in detail in this post) and the Invisible Look Collection (featured with underwire or wirefree and offers full support without the squishing and bulging).

The CustomFlex Fit Collection takes the guessing game out of finding the right bra size by combining 16 band/cup sizes into five Alpha sizes, XS – XL. No more thinking, “Am I a 34C or 36B?” (Or is that just me?). The CustomFlex Fit Collection includes a range of intimates like the Comfy Support, Fuller Coverage Foam, Regular Bandini, Foam Bandini, Reversible Pull-Over, and Active Cami.

At the event, I was able to get a bra fitting and learned that I was wearing the wrong bra size. Sort of. The size that I thought I was is the sister size to the size that I should be wearing. Glad to know I wasn’t totally off base.

I really like the Bandini (pictured below in pink) because it’s great for when I get home and just want to lounge around in a tank top. Instead of letting the girls hang out without proper support, I’ve been rocking my Bandini bras like it’s nobody’s business.

And the Active Cami? Loving it! I tested it out for my workout and have been wearing the Active Cami to workout ever since and plan to continue wearing it because it gives me support, but it’s also super comfortable.

I think that I have quite possibly fallen in love with the CustomFlex Fit Panties. I love a sexy pair of panties (lace back, bikini fit, etc.). It just makes me feel confident underneath my clothing. These panties are not only sexy, but they are also super soft. And seamless. And comfortable. And soft (did I say that already?). Seriously though, I don’t think I’ve ever felt a pair of panties this soft. I’ve been wearing them ever since and plan to add more to my collection. They’re available in hipster, bikini, hi-cut, thong, and boy-shorts.

But don’t take my word for it (although you should take my word for it), see and feel ‘em for yourself.

GIVEAWAY!

I'm happy to announce that one reader will receive their very own Barely There intimate apparels. I’m giving away one bra of your choice (color and style) from the CustomFlex Fit Collection, one bra of your choice (color and style) from the Invisible Look Collection, panties of your choice, and shapewear. SWEETNESS! With these bad boys, I’m helping you to bring sexy back. Then you’ll really be singing, “Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby.”

To enter:

Head over to the Barely There website and then leave a comment below telling me what you love about their intimate apparels.

Want an extra entry? “Like” Mommy Delicious on Facebook AND share this giveaway on Facebook. Leave a separate comment saying you’ve done so.

This giveaway ends next Friday, November 18^th. Good Luck!

UPDATE: WINNER ANNOUNCED!
Congrats BossyGirl! The underwear is all yours!

{Event attendees received a gift bag with Barely There products for review. All opinions expressed herein are my own. This giveaway is being sponsored by Barely There.}

{A Dating Tale} But That Yummy Candy Bar Was So Good

It’s mid-September and my Yummy male companion and I have been seeing each other since Spring, which places our situation around the 5 – 6 month mark.

I like him.

The energy that we create together is pure magic. (That’s what it feels like to me anyway.) The banter between us – that witty, flirtatious teasing – is nothing short of amazing. Time after time, we’d go quip for quip and it’s the definition of verbal foreplay. He and I… spark. Still, I need to take this slow because my last relationship, although it ended over a year ago, was very heavy and didn’t end well. He needs to take it slow too; at least that’s what I conclude after consulting my girlfriends by giving them a run down of his situation with his most recent ex-girlfriend.

He’s sweet. Very sweet. And with each sweet gesture, I have to try really hard to talk myself out of thinking that it’s his way of hinting he wants something more serious. With me. I’m hesitant. Optimistic, but cautious.

I’m usually not one for PDA, save for a little handholding here and there. Neither is he. But on several occasions, we catch ourselves kissing not only in private, but also in very public places. But in these public places and spaces, it feels like it’s just him and me, and everyone else is background. We’re giddy and happy and laughing and smiling at each other like two teenagers in serious like. Or lust. We’re like the couple you’d want to be. And it feels all warm-and-fuzzy-and-butterflies-in-your-stomach... nice.

Being the Type-A personality that I am, I usually like to plan the itinerary for dates, most of the time. But at some point with him, I begin to feel as though it’s less of what I’m doing and more of who I’m doing it with. At the end of each of our dates, I have to twist my mouth and bite the inside of my bottom lip to actively keep myself from smiling and doing the happy dance. But I don’t keep myself from dissecting every detail of the date with my friends. (Hey, sometimes a girl needs a second opinion.) That’s when I realize that I really like him.

Initially I was also dating other people. Then, I stopped. Not because he and I are exclusive, but because, honestly, between Motherhood and work, I just don’t have the time. Or the funds for a babysitter, for that matter. At some point, I’m asked to write a review of a dating website by filling out an online profile, meeting guys, and going on a few dates with said guys. Deciding that the opportunity is too fun and too good to pass up for my blog and brand, I agree to it. I then proceed to freak out and obsess about it for days – to tell Yummy or not to tell?

I hit up several of my girlfriends for advice regarding this matter. Collectively, we decide that I should tell him – it would be kinda sketchy if he reads about my dating experiences with another dude on the Internet. Individually, I decide that it’s the right thing to do if he and I and our little situation are going to go anywhere even halfway serious. That I could stress and obsess over the potential of going on just ONE date with another guy let’s me realize that this thing with Yummy might be something more for me. I’m in over my head here and I really, really like him.

That’s why I was caught so off guard on the night we talked and had what I thought would’ve been the “It’s time for us to upgrade to a real relationship” conversation. He can’t upgrade. Ouch! He has a pre-existing condition. Eek! He and his ex-girlfriend may or may not be getting back together again. Whoa! What?! When I hear this, I feel as though the wind has been knocked from under me. BAM! Just like that. Again.

Ugh. Why is everything always so good… until it isn’t? And then it’s just over?

My mind begins to race. My palms begin to sweat. My stomach begins to hurt. There are so many thoughts going through my head right now, and some of them are not so nice. I’m confused. I’m sad. I’m hurt. I’m pissed. I feel… poo. It would be totally acceptable for me to lose it and say something along the lines of, “What the f*ck?!” to him right now. But I don’t. I try my hardest to remain prim and proper because my pride won’t let me show him that I’m sad. Or hurt. Or that I feel… poo. There are so many things that I want to say, but all that comes out of my mouth is something along the lines of, “Oh, wow… okay...”

That night, I decided to end things with no malice or harsh feelings. But it was hard for me, and at first, my mind couldn’t help but wander off to the possibilities that could have been. The what-ifs and the if-only’s of our short-lived romance. Ah, timing is everything, I’d say to myself in an effort to self-soothe whenever I missed him. It just… wasn’t meant to be. It’s better to have loved and loss. Maybe in another lifetime.

Sigh.

I have GOT to cool it with the romantic comedies and chick flicks.

When I replay this story of “love” and loss to my friends, wondering how the heck did I not see this coming, most of them say something along the lines of, “Girl, I wouldn’t have been so nice.” (I should add that he apologized profusely the night we ended things.) A few friends say that I ended it too quickly. But really, what was I supposed to do?

Throw a temper tantrum? That’ll leave me looking like a fool. Not good, my friends. Not good.

Stick around? Pointless. When it’s over, it’s over. Plus, you don’t go chasing after a guy who’s not completely available. (That’s bordering on chicken-head status.) Not to mention that if I were his ex-girlfriend, I wouldn’t want another chick hanging around my ex waiting to see if our relationship is going to “make it” or not.

Even in my sad and hurt and disappointed state, my Sister Solidarity took charge. And as hard as it was, it was just easier for me to let go.

So I bowed out. Gracefully. 

When you’re a young romantic like me, you tend to have an idealized view of many things in the world. Surely I did with this situation. And still do at times. But the lesson is learned for next time. Now when I meet an attractive guy who’s totally my type and we have very raw and real chemistry, I’ll be very explicit and ask him up front, “So… what’s your situation?” And if he’s remotely unavailable or otherwise tied up, I’ll keep it moving. Long before the sixth month mark.

In all seriousness, though, all is well over here. I have a pretty dope life. And when I think of it, nothing will ever hurt as much as the incident with Aiden’s other parent. Literally. And if I can get over that, then I can get over this. Right? 

Right.

Plus, if I can have these great feelings with this Yummy guy, then surely I can have them again with another guy. Right?

Eventually.