Thursday, January 19, 2012
Have You Found Your "Happy"?
A few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with an old [single] girlfriend. She was going on and on about how sad (and lonely) she was/is because she lacks that special someone in her life. She went so far as to say that she felt almost cried the previous night because she wanted to go out, but didn't have a guy to go out with.
I get it. Sometimes being single can feel lonely. But I'm a firm believer in being proactive to create the life that you want and surrounding yourself with things that make you... happy. I'm a firm believer in choosing happiness. So naturally my response was that she should have called a few of her girlfriends up and make plans to hit up one of their favorite spots in the city. Easy enough. Her response? She wanted to go out with a man. Okay. I'm single. I can totally dig wanting to be all boo'ed up for a Saturday-night date night. My response? "Well, how are you going to find 'him' if you're at home moping around on a Saturday night. You're young (she's, like 25 or something), go out, have fun, enjoy your 20's."
Then I made the mistake of putting myself into the equation. I said, "I'm single and I have fun. You can always come out with my friends and me should you feel the need." Her response? "Maybe marriage is not for you; I [pointing to herself] am a relationship girl."
I was in no mood to fight that battle on that lovely Sunday afternoon.
I'm sure there's a reason why I'm here... at this particular place in my life. (And you. And you.) There's some lesson to be learned, some experience to become engrossed in, some goal to achieve. It's not entirely easy learning how to be alone and enjoy your own company, but I do think that it is necessary. Not to mention, once you're there, it is pretty awesome.
Sure I'd like to have someone to share my life with -- the dope things and the dreadful things -- when the time is right. But, until then, I'm choosing happiness. If I want to go out, best believe that I call my girls up and say something along the lines of, "Let's do something fun. Get dressed, we're going [insert name of favorite spot here]." One doesn't find happiness by simply being in a relationship. That's a huge myth, if there ever was one, and those who think that's the case are in for a rude awakening.
I feel like I'm finally at the point where I'm making conscious decisions to just... be happy. It's not always easy because sometimes it requires making difficult decisions, but the peace of mind and serenity is totally worth it.
I once read, "This is your life. Do what you love and do it often... If you are looking for the love of your life, stop. They will be waiting for you when you start doing things that you love" and things that make you happy.
I found my "happy" and I'm holding on to it come heck or high water.
Have you found yours? What are you doing to hold on to it?