The Year of Progress

One day shy of his sixth birthday

In 2011, I finished grad school and got the two master degrees. In 2012, I had to buckle down, grind through, and work hard until I got the excellent job.

By the time 2013 rolled around, I had one main goal in mind -- progress.

I wanted to challenge myself and make a little bit of progress in love and life and working and writing and this whole single mom thing.

In fact, it was in this year that I upgraded my job and became one step closer to that dream position. And it made me realize that there's no reason for me (or any other young mother or single mother) not to go get our dreams.

Progress.

But it wasn't without a little bit of struggle, ups and downs, bumps and bruises, and hard work.

Progress.

It was in this year that I came into my own as a single mother and gained an immense amount of confidence that I didn't know I had. And it made me realize that I can trust my own instincts when planting seeds in Aiden's life. Or when instilling values in him. Or when teaching him right from wrong.

Progress.

In Puerto Rico

I traveled.

To Philadelphia with Aiden during our spring break. To Atlanta with The Guy. To Puerto Rico with Aiden, where I sat poolside watching my sweet boy swim like a fish, and thanked God for progress. To Connecticut for my friend's wedding. And The Jersey Shore for Labor Day Weekend. I spent a weekend at Geneva on The Lake for The American Dairy Association Blogger Tour and Food & Wine Festival. I was with The Guy and we had a lovely time. Oh, and Aiden and I spent the holidays in the mid-west with The Guy and his family.

This was a big step for me and I'm continuing to learn how to be vulnerable, how to give a little more of myself, how not be so guarded all the time, and how to fully embrace love. Because I deserve it. So yeah... I can officially change my Facebook status to "in a relationship" now. Bam!

(I'm growing up, y'all.)

Progress.

Christmas Day | 2013

I learned when to step up and I learned when to step back by making sure that Aiden has a male mentor to look up to. Something that I learned for sure is that single mothers can create a family for their children. And that children of single mothers can thrive.

Progress.

 

I wrote my heart out and I left pieces of myself in The New York Times and REDBOOK Magazine. I shared my personal style and left a piece of my style in The New York Daily News. In print and online. Bam! I shared my favorite child-friendly hangout spots in NYC and left a piece of myself in Time Out New York Kids. In print and online. Kapow! Aiden started the school year with a new-found confidence, turned six, and rocked it all the way out during the Ugg Australia petitePARADE Kids Fashion Week Show. He's like a total rockstar in the making!

Progress.

Rocking the runway

When I look back, all I can think is... thank goodness for progress. I went through hell with Aiden's other parent, and breaking up, and starting over again. But... progress.

If you're going through hell, keep going. Keep pushing. Keep moving forward. Because it gets better. If 2013 was a testament to anything at all, it was to this simple fact -- life goes on and, if you keep pushing, you'll get better at kicking it's ass.

Promise.

2014, we're coming for you!

This Year, On Mother's Day...

joy abounds...

“If you could have anything in the world, what is the ONE thing that you’d like for Mother’s Day?”

Since Aiden was born, I have always been asked some variation of that question around this time of year. And every time I was asked, I pretty much gave the exact same answer: a day off. All I’ve ever wanted for Mother’s Day was a day off – to sleep until noon, to use the bathroom in peace, to not have to clean up spills on the kitchen floor, to not have to hear “That’s not fair!” for the millionth time, to just… be.

It seems like I was always stressed out with the demands of motherhood, and then single motherhood, and then graduate student-motherhood that all I wanted was time off. Just one day.

But this year is different.

Head on over to REDBOOK Magazine to read the rest of this post where I'm talking about my hopes and wishes for Mother's Day this year. 

In Response to The NYC Teen Pregnancy Prevention Ads

I was 22-years-old when I got pregnant with Aiden. It was the year following my college graduation. I had an Ivy League degree, a full time job as an elementary school teacher, an idea of the direction I wanted to take my career, and plans to apply to graduate school in the near future. I had a promising future and, by my own definition, I was well on my way to being somewhat successful.

Then, I saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test and immediately felt like a failure.

Why?

Because I looked like I was 17-years-old. There was a certain naïvete about me that made me seem even younger clueless than I actually was. Also, I didn't have a ring on my fourth finger, left hand, and I felt as though people would judge me, shame me, and associate me with every negative stereotype associated with a young, single, pregnant girl.

And, unfortunately, I was right.

The teen pregnancy prevention campaign the NYC Department of Social Services is currently running brings me right back to that feeling I had when I saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test almost six years ago — back to that feeling of shame and failure. It brings back memories of the hurtful things people said to me while I was pregnant.

"Wow, how old are you?"

"Where's the father?"

"Poor thing."

“Do you know who the father is?"

The teen pregnancy prevention campaign the NYC Department of Social Services is currently running is no different.

Head over to REDBOOK to read the rest of my response to these ads, which are everything but effective, in my opinion.

A Year of Inspiration, Style, and Blessings

When 2011 rolled around, I had two main goals: to finish grad school with my two master degrees (check, check!) and get the job that I dreamed of. When 2012 rolled around, I had the degrees, but not the job. Yet. So I had to buckle down, grind through, and work. Hard. Until I got the job. (Check!)

It's a blessing.

It seems as though I've been in a constant state of "Go!" since 2011, but for the past few days, I've been taking the time out to stop.

And take it all in.

And reflect.

I'm blessed.

And this here community is such a blessing to me. (And I hope it is to you as well.)

We've shared a lot in this place and space, and for that, I am grateful.

Way back in January, I shared with you how I've found my "happy." And I challenged many of you to find your happiness within as well. The emails that I received after that post was truly inspiring.

I spent some time thinking about what kind of mother I want to continue to be and how I'd like Aiden to remember his childhood 15 years from now. 

I've taken time for myself by traveling to Miami and indulging in life's little pleasures. I've shown that moms are anything but dull and boring by sharing my fashion and style sense with you and by putting myself first. Sometimes. I've dated. Again. And had fun. Again. And learned some lessons along the way. Again. 

I've continued working with eBay, which led me to the west coast, singing Katy Perry's "California Gurl" as I toured San Fran and drank fine wine.

I also continued writing for REDBOOK Magazine and, in addition to writing online articles a couple times per month, I was published in print as well. And then there was the September issue of Parents Magazine in which I was passionately discussing all things education, educational reform, and the achievement gap.

Speaking of education, I wrote admissions essays, collected recommendations, and braved interviews so that I could get Aiden into a good private school. And for those of you who live in a big city (or know anything about the NYC private school admissions process), you know what that means: I worked. Hard.

Co-parenting failed, but I embraced life as a solo single mom. And it ain't half bad, especially if I continue to learn from hard life lessons along the way. 

And how can I forget modeling a swimsuit on the first day of summer on a double-decker bus all around Manhattan? Or the nod from NY Metro Parents? Or Red Tricycle? Or the collaboration with NY Family Magazine? Fun times!

I got my butt kicked a couple times, but that's alright because I learned the lessons. And shared them, of course. 

I couldn't make it to the press trip in Atlanta with Coca-cola, but my blogging pal YUMMommy represented very well. (Thanks girl!)

Oh yeah, and I've hung out with some celebrities too -- Jessica Alba, Jennifer Hudson, and Soledad O'Brien, to name a few. Pretty epic.

Needless to say, it's been quite a year. 

I share all this to say two main things: children of single parents can thrive and be happy and do well in life. It's possible. And having a baby in your early 20's is not the end of the world, but the beginning of something so wonderful and so monumental. All of your comments, messages, and emails prove it. Everyday.

So, in 2013, let's keep sharing. And let's keep showing 'em what we're made of!

Cheers and high-fives all around!

{I was not compensated for this post. It contains links to posts written in conjunction with the eBay Parent Panel and REDBOOK Magazine, for which compensation is received.}

No Judgement Day

{mimosas and OJ at Sunday brunch}

I have no contact whatsoever with Aiden's other parent. Neither does Aiden -- none at all.

But that's old news; you knew that already. I've spoken about it so many times before on this site. Today, I'm speaking about it over on REDBOOK Magazine.

I've been judged for my decision not to co-parent too many times before. But every time I see that Aiden is healthy and happy, my decision to do what's best for my son (and myself) is confirmed. I chose happiness. And safety. And that makes all the difference.

Check out my article on REDBOOK and feel free to share it as well.

I know, I know... I'm still pimping myself.