Just last week I was receiving congratulatory notes and virtual high-fives for climbing my career ladder and accepting a new job offer. I'm grateful for the nods and acknowledgements, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to advance.
I worked hard for it and I'm relishing in it. All of it.
But while I'm still saying "Thank you" to those who are congratulating me, I can't help but to think of all the hard work, efforts, mishaps, failures, and re-do's that's behind the success.
I can't help but to think of all the sacrifices and compromises and trade-offs that I had to make in order to achieve the success.
I can't help but to think of all the times when I hired a babysitter to drop Aiden off to school and pick him up from school because I had an early morning meeting and had to stay late into the evening (how's that for "leaning in"?)
I can't help but to think of all the times I had a ton of work to do and the knot on the right side of my neck was proof that I was not happy about it. (Feeling stressed literally causes a pain in my neck.)
I can't help but to think of the times I just wanted to go home to rest on a Friday night (not spend time with friends, which, if you know me at all, is kind of a big deal). And all because I felt as though I'd just survived the longest. week. ever.
I can't help but to think about all the times I got a coffee on my way home from work just because I wanted to make sure that I had enough energy to give to my precious son that I'd given to my precious work all day.
I can't help but to think about all the times I fell asleep on the couch while trying to meet a deadline.
I can't help but to think of all the times that days, weeks, an entire month kicked my ass with the demands of work and motherhood and dreams and goals and... life.
I can't help but to think of all the times I pushed myself to get to this very place where I am right now.
Was it easy?
No. Not at all.
Because behind the success are mountains to be climbed and battles to be won and problems to be solved and strongholds to be loosed from. Behind the success are tears and fears and doubts and... finding the strength and bravery to push pass those feelings.
So it wasn't easy. Anything worth having is not going to come easy. But is it worth it?