There's No Easy Phase of Parenting

I remember when Aiden was younger and I had to do everything for him. Feed him, bathe him, change his diaper, entertain him... you get the drift.

There were days that I was so exhausted that I couldn't wait until he got older. To me, Aiden getting older meant that he would be able to do so many things for himself.

And parenting would become easier.

Well, guess what?

Aiden is older now. Homeboy's eleven.

He's much more independent than he used to be. Matter of fact, Aiden manages his football schedule, he takes the subway to and from school by himself, he stays home alone for a couple of hours when I need to run an errand, and he's very efficient when helping with August.

But guess what?

Parenting did not become easier.

Because when Aiden forgets to text when he gets to school or gets home from school, I have a little mini-freak out. When Aiden gets all pre-teenagery and hormonal, I have to work extra hard to practice patience and understanding. When Aiden forgets a homework assignment or forgets to study for a test, after feeling a little bit of rage on the inside, I have to take deep breaths and get him back on track.

(Side note: Middle school ain't for the wimps. When did it become so hard with so many subjects and so many assignments from every... single... subject?)

I have to constantly talk to him about online safety and being aware of his surroundings, appropriate conversations and when to exit chat rooms, the fine line between things being funny and things being inappropriate.

How to be a leader and stand up for what's right.

Systematic racism.

Implicit bias.

How to control his impulses, especially if he's approached by police officers and/or authority figures. And especially when I'm not around.

Even though I'm preparing him for independence, in many ways, he needs me more now than he did when he was just a baby.

So, yeah... there's no easy phase of parenting.

We just have to learn as we go and hope for the best.

And always know that we're doing the best that we can.

This is Eleven

Aiden: Ugh! I don’t want to. Ugh! No!

Me: You don’t wanna follow directions? Fine. Bedtime.

Aiden: Okay, okay! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’ll listen.

This is eleven.

Eleven is backtalk and mini tantrums and everything being a biggest deal ever. Eleven is me learning how to deal with these pre-teen hormones while raising a free black boy who owns his feelings while raising a kind and respectful and responsible human.

Eleven is Aiden wanting space, together. Eleven is him wanting to watch YouTube videos on his phone for hours, but in the same room as me. Eleven is going in the next room to facetime his friends, but reading books cuddled up on my bed. Eleven is wanting to be alone, but wanting August to play on his bed.

Aiden: What’s an erection?

Me: It’s when your penis becomes enlarged. Or like, really firm.

Aiden: Is that like a ‘boner’?

Me: I guess that’s what some people call it. Erection is the scientific term.

This is eleven.

Eleven is hearing things from friends and feeling comfortable enough to come to me to get straight answers, clarifying answers. Eleven is asking the trickier questions and me trying my best to normalize and not stigmatize. Eleven is wanting privacy in the shower, but still calling me to condition his hair. Eleven is bath time battles. Still. Eleven is not wanting to take a shower, and then, not wanting to leave the shower.

Eleven is wanting independence and being nervous about said independence. Eleven is being excited to take the subway to school alone and being scared when the day finally arrives to actually take the subway to school alone. Eleven is doing homework alone and needing me to double check. Every. Single. Night. (#sendhelpnow) Eleven is no longer being afraid of the dark, but still sleeping with teddy bears and still wanting hugs and kisses before bedtime.

Aiden: I don’t like it when you and [HEB] tell me to stop dancing. Like, I’m not even bothering anybody.

Me: You’re right. You should dance anytime you feel like it. Just not in front the TV when I’m watching it.

Aiden: Deal!

This is eleven.

Eleven is speaking up and speaking out. All. The. Time. Eleven is me unlearning maladaptive responses and learning responsive discipline. Eleven is different from the way I was raised. Eleven is new for me, but normal for Aiden. I want it that way.

August: More yogurt?

Me: Aiden! Can you get him more yogurt please?

This is eleven. Eleven is having a built-in babysitter. Eleven is being my go-to person for all things August. Twenty times a day. Whether I need a diaper, baby wipes, his cup filled with water, a juice box, more yogurt, more pirate booty’s, more cereal, to turn on Mickey, to turn off Mickey… I call Aiden. Always.

Look at your career, they said.
[Alicia], baby use your head.
But instead I chose to use my heart.
Now the joy of my world lives in [Aiden].

This is eleven. 

Eleven is a perfectly imperfect and beautiful storm and I wouldn't have it any other way.

We made it. We're making it.

Onward. 

Kids Pizza Making Class at Rossopomodoro

Photo via the Rossopomodoro Instagram page

"Okay... so let's talk about what we liked and what we would change about the class."

This was Aiden, as we walked down 14th Street after our hour-long pizza-making -- and pizza eating! -- class at Rossopomodoro this past weekend.

The boys and I were invited to a Kids Pizza Making Class at Rossopomodoro, a rustic-chic Italian restaurant in the West Village. Upon our arrival, the kids were greeting with an apron, a chef hat, and a rolling pin to gear up for their chef-experience.

Then we headed to the semi-private seating area in the back of the restaurant, where participants were led through a step-by-step process in making their own pizza: rolling the dough, flipping the dough, rolling it some more, adding sauce, adding toppings, and placing it in super glamorous golden oven. (Seriously... can I get one of those in my house?!)

Photo via the Rossopomodoro Instagram page

And, of course, eating!

Can I get a "Yum!"?

After the entire experience, Aiden had some thoughts and ideas.

1. The pizza was the best pizza he ever had!
2. He doesn't want basil on his pizza because "who eats veggies on their pizza?" Ha!
3. The only thing he would change is to have even more toppings, like pepperoni. (He lives for pepperoni.)
4. It's great that they give you the choice to cut the pizza in four slices or six slices. (He picked six slices because he wanted the pizza to last as long as possible. Ha!)
5. It was the best pizza and best day ever!

August didn't say anything about his pizza-making experience, except, "More!" when he wanted more pizza, orange juice, or my mimosa, but judging by how much of the pizza he ate, I'm pretty sure he was living-it-up!

Kids. So easy to please.

Beginning Saturday, April 21st, Rossopomodoro will be kicking off their new Kids Pizza Making Class. Classes will be offered every Saturday at a rate of $27 per child.

At the class, kids will be given homemade dough, Italian tomato sauce and cheese, and a variety of toppings. Afterwards, they will be able to arrange their pizza in any shape they like, and wait for the yumminess that is to come!

It's truly a fun-filled family activity that the kids will eat up! Literally! 

You can call 212.242.2310 to reserve your spot!

Thanks so much to the entire team at Rossopomodoro for the fun experience! The pizza was yummy and the mimosas were the truth!

{Disclaimer: The kids and I were provided with a complimentary class in order to facilitate this review. All opinions expressed herein are my own.}

Air Play at The New Victory Theater

photo courtesy of The New Victory Theater

If balloons and bubbles are your kids' things, then Air Play might be too. Last weekend, Aiden and I spent 60-minutes giggling and laughing as we checked out the show at The New Victory Theater.

We haven't been to the super cool children's theater in a few months and we were totally surprised when we saw that the theater got a little nip/tuck. Not only are the renovations on the upper level sleek, but the lower level has a modern and updated space where theater goers can purchase snacks and souvenirs, take pictures with the performers, and participate in fun show-related activities. All in all, we love the new space.

But I digress.

photo courtesy of The New Victory Theater

photo courtesy of The New Victory Theater

The show Air Play is all fun and games and perfect for the entire family. The performers Seth Bloom and Christina Gelsone are a dynamic duo, and the show uses a carefully positioned circle of fans to wow the audience When they aren't making their umbrellas fly (yes, you read that right), they're making their silks ripple. And when they aren't doing that, they're using balloons in ways that you'd never think was possible. (Yes, people can fit inside balloons.)

Aiden and I had a great time and definitely recommend for your entire family!

getting his Drake on in the updated space on the lower level

Air Play will run at The New Victory Theater through April 15, 2017. The show is 60 minutes with no intermission and is great for ages 5 and up. Tickets start at just $16 and there is also an autism-friendly show (major props for setting this up!). Visit the website for more information or to purchase your tickets.

{Disclaimer: I received tickets to Air Play in order to facilitate this review. All opinions expressed herein are my own.}

Why I Know I'm Getting This Motherhood Thing Right

Because I know I'm not perfect and I know that I mess some things up. Just check last week's post about all the things I do wrong in this Motherhood game. (Yes, the "M" should be capital. Always.)

Because I'm hella intentional and hella calculated and hella reflective about my parenting practices. And I'm always trying to be better tomorrow than I am today.

Because I've learned that meditation and "Me Time" is so important to my mental health. And I allow myself to indulge in it. Frequently. And freely.

Because I'm going to therapy and working on addressing my own ish. Because ain't nothing cute about raising these incredible babies if I'm not emotionally whole first.

Because my boys are incredible. All parts of them. Even the parts that I don't always like.

Because the way Aiden loves up on August makes my soul smile.

Because the tight hugs that August gives Aiden makes my heart happy.

Because when Aiden was going through his own drama, I didn't take the easy way out by just "spanking him one time". Because I think spanking is the easy way out.

Because I knew that it wasn't about me and all the things that I already did for him. Because I knew that he needed even more than I was already doing for him at the time. So I gathered a dream team of professionals to help me help him through.

Because I'm a Mama Bear during Aiden's IEP meetings. Because Speech Therapists and Occupational Therapists and Counselors and Psychologists are bae. All of 'em.

Word.

Because I learned phrases like, "pragmatic language skills" and "graphomotor skills" and "proprioceptive pressure activities" due to Aiden receiving various types of therapy throughout the week.

Because Aiden's dream team reminds me that he's perceptive, intelligent, athletic, and hardworking. Because they also remind me that he's extremely sensory/movement seeking... for the days when I'm at my wits end and need that gentle reminder.

Because I'm not ashamed that my baby needs these types of services because he's been hella successful academically and socially this year.

Because I'm fully aware that I'm privileged to even be able to have these types of services for Aiden because not every family has access to them.

Because August loves to read books and build blocks and knock blocks over and sing his ABC's.

Because August runs into my arms every morning when he sees me.

Because the way Aiden roots for August whenever he sings a song or says a new word or does just about anything is the very definition of Big Brother Magic.

Because my boys are happy and healthy and loved.

Because I know that that's all that really matters anyhow.

Oh Twodles: Celebrating Two Years of August

Bubbles Galore!

I've been Mommy Delicious times two... for two years, y'all!

Last weekend, we celebrated August's 2nd birthday with his favorite character in the world -- Mickey Mouse! I've been all in my feels these past two weeks because I can't believe that I've kept the boys alive and safe and well and... happy! It's hard going from one to two kids because, like, they both have needs.

All the time.

At the same time.

And it's my job to show up and show out and make sure that they're needs are met.

I'm happy to report that, even with bumps along the way, I've been able to rock it out these past two years. Needless to say, it wasn't just a celebration of August and his awesomeness, it was a celebration for the entire family.

#bros 

We gathered some friends and headed to The Little Gym on the UWS, where the kids were able to run, jump, play, and flip out. Literally. The best part was seeing everyone love up on August.

A great time was had by all... especially my little Mickey obsessed toddler!

And because I'm obsessed with giving you the non-Instagram-worthy-highlight-reels version of events: Some folks cancelled either because of the snow or cold weather or life in general; We ordered way too much food and I've been eating the leftovers for lunch all week because I refuse to waste the money spent (silver lining?); At first, August was super scared of all the equipment overwhelmed by everything and super clingy to me, which, as you can imagine, was stressful; And I felt like I could have just bought a doggone bubble machine, set up shop in my living room, and watched as the little boy went to town with them because he basically played with bubbles the entire time. #ImJustSaying

Fantasy is what you want, but reality is what you need. #YeahISaidIt

And, of course, we all wore Mickey t-shirts. Because, why not?!

Happy birthday to my baby boy! Mommy super loves you!

18 Months of August Kingston

August turned 18 months a few days ago and I can't believe my baby delicious is a full-blown toddler now. I'm talking super duper sweet one minute and full-on tantrums the next. Trying to communicate exactly what he wants and very upset when others don't understand him fast enough. Saying words and babbling. Playing nicely with Aiden and then slapping his glasses off of his face the next. Trying to be independent, yet frustrated when he can't complete a task the way he'd like to. And biting on everything with those four new molars that grew in!

It's been a perfect storm and I couldn't ask for the past six months to be any more challenging and rewarding... all at the same time.

August's words:

• "Hi" (with a wave)
• "Bye" (with a wave)
• Shaking his head "no" whenever he doesn't want something 
• "Get down" (whenever he climbs on something, which happens to be all the time. And yes, he first heard the phrase from me.)
• "Hawt" = hot
• "Tha-ci" = paci (aka "pacifier")
• "Sheese" = shoes
• "Bahm-ba" = pamper
• "Ba" = ball
• "Bay-bee" = baby
• "Ah-ah" = all done (also means "I want to eat ____ [whatever he's pointing to])
• "Muah" = kiss
• And a whole lot of babbling

August likes:

• Having "conversations" with pretty much everyone
• Going to get his pampers and wipes when it's time to change his diapers
• Wrestling with Aiden 
• Slapping Aiden's glasses off his face
• Playing with all of Aiden's toys
• Pulling down all the toys off the shelf
• Pulling all the books off the bookcase
• Changing the channel on the TV
• Giving and receiving hugs and kisses
• Climbing on things. All the things
• Running fast 
• Reading books... all of them
• "Talking" on the phone
• Playing with all his animals and learning the sounds that they make
• All things Mickey Mouse 

August dislikes:

• When people tell him "no"
• Taking baths (still)
• Water in his face. Or on his head
• When we take too long to take him out of his crib in the morning (he wakes up way too early)

Can't wait to see what the next six months brings!

12 Months of August Kingston

Whew!

Baby August is one-year-old and officially a toddler! He's a walking, babbling machine without a worry in the world and I love it!

August likes:

• Food. Any food. From anyone's plate. At any time. Even if he just ate three minutes ago. 
• Opening and shutting the kitchen cabinets. Over and over and over again.
• Screaming. Especially on a crowded subway. (He likes to hear his own voice.)
• Unraveling the toilet paper in the bathroom. (Gotta remember to keep that door shut!)
• Walking up to mommy, Aiden, and HEB, resting his head on us, which is his definition of a hug
• All things Mickey Mouse (which was surprising considering Aiden was a total Barney guy)
• "Reading" books
• Eating books
• Pulling down books off of the shelves 

August dislikes:

• Detangling his hair
• Washing his hair
• Whenever anyone touches his hair
• Whenever someone doesn't share their food with him fast enough
• Being strapped in his stroller when he doesn't want to be strapped in his stroller

It's been a year of ups and downs, hits and misses for me. But for August, it's been a year of joy, warmth, and love! And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Like my friend, Kelly said, "There's nothing like August in December!" Happy, happy to my little guy! 

August Kingston, 6 Months Old

The happiest baby on the block!

Whew!

Time flies when you're having fun... or loving up on your huggable baby! August turned six months old this week and this almost 20-pounder is thriving more than ever! He got his first taste of solids this week (yummy carrots and yummy sweet potatoes) and he likes it so far. He's also working very hard to sit up unsupported for long periods of time, without toppling over.

#NoFilter

As I suspected, the freezer stash of breastmilk is dwindling, but I'm working hard to build it back up, which is a good thing because I want to replace the older milk with fresh milk anyway. I have started researching organic baby formula and I've narrowed it down to two choices (one is not even available in the US so that might be hard if I decide on it). You know, just tin case I need to supplement.

The good news: I'm on summer break for the month of June so I don't have to worry about my crazy, demanding, time-consuming work schedule interfering with pumping. #Hallelujah

And so it begins...
#StoreBought
#AtLeastItsOrganic
#DontJudgeMe

August likes:

• Giving people slobbery "kisses"
• Gummy smiles and open-mouthed smiles
• Tasting carrots and sweet potatoes 
• Holding his own bottle during feedings
• Watching Aiden play with basketballs, soccer balls, and pretty much anything else 
• Rolling around in his crib, rolling around in his playpen, rolling around on the floor, just rolling around anywhere...
• Jumping around in his jumperoo
• Playing with his piano 
• Grabbing my face and hair and ears 

August hates:

• Wiping his face with a rag, warm or cold
• Changing his clothing (he'd rather roll around and play)
• When his pacifier falls out of his mouth in the middle of the night

No matter how he falls asleep, he ends up in this position,
on his side, holding his pacifier... sweetness

I can't wait to see what the second half of his first year entails! I know he's gonna be super busy trying to keep up with Aiden. 

Oh boy...