Wednesday, June 27, 2012

On Being Purposeful With Your Time

"Wherever you go, go with all your heart." ~ Confucius

The weeks leading up to my 28th birthday and then actually turning 28 has done something to me. It was (and still is) the point in my life where I have the desire to invest my time and energy wisely. I must be becoming a more mature adult.

It feels good.

Last week, someone asked me to participate in something to which my initial reply was a lackluster, "Yes." I mean, she's a sweet person and I wanted to be there for her.

But, then.

Then I realized that my "Yes" was not coming from a place of power -- I was only saying "Yes" to help her out, and not really because I had the time (or energy) to invest in this project. I realized that by saying, "Yes" to her I was not only saying "No" to myself, but I was also not thinking of myself. In some instances, this could have potentially been fine... if I meant "Yes" one hundred percent.

But I didn't.

So I kept it real and changed my "Yes" to a "No." I had to be honest to her. And, most importantly, to myself.

That's what I've been doing these past few months -- being more honest with myself. And valuing my time. And learning that "No." is a complete sentence. In short, I've been being more purposeful with my time.

There was a time when I thought that thinking of me first and putting my needs first made me selfish. Maybe that's one of the reasons I stayed with Aiden's other parent as long as I did. Maybe I thought that by leaving I was being selfish and only thinking of myself.

But, then.

Then I realized that I had to get out because there was a much better plan for my life. (Not to mention I also realized that a "happy and healthy" mommy makes for a "happy and healthy" Aiden.)

And now.

Now I'm living that life. And I'm seeing that plan being manifested. Every. Single. Day. I'm being more purposeful with my time. (I'm busy and don't have time for frivolous things.) I'm focusing my energies on things that are tied to my destiny -- in my personal life and in my professional life. I'm living my life on purpose. And with a purpose.

That way, whenever I participate in something, I'll be doing it wholeheartedly. And wherever I go somewhere, I'll be going with all of my heart.

What about you? How are you being purposeful with your time?


  1. Good for you, Alicia. I'm approaching 30 this year and and it's made me rethink things in my life, too. I'm becoming much better about saying NO and not feeling bad for others (versus doing something to inconvenience myself). That's much harder said than done, and I'm glad that you, too, are working on that. You deserve it.

    As for the part about filling my life with things more purposeful, I began that journey over a year ago -- and it's been great. For me it was Facebook and Twitter and stupid reality TV shows. I don't use Facebook and Twitter for business-purposes, so a lot of the time I would spend on there would be simple time-wasting. So I cut down on them tremendously. I've eliminated all kinds of things that don't contribute to my "purpose" and rekindled the spark in other areas of my life. It feels great!

    Cheers to us!

  2. I've been thinking a lot lately about my true purpose in life. I just keep coming back to my family. I wish for everyone to be happy and want to be able to spend as much time with them as possible while ginving them the time of the their lives. Sometimes I don't know if that's my purpose or the "higher" purpose...

  3. You are definitely doing the right thing! It takes a lot of guts!!! Keep pressing forward!

  4. I've been there, and still have a hard time saying no sometimes. I've gotten better as my time has lessen (because I don't have a choice). But you're right, a lackluster yes to someone else is a no to yourself (and it's okay to be good to yourself!).

  5. Omg, this is so awesome. I remember when I first learned to say "No" and mean it. It wasn't too long ago. Feels so good, doesnt it?

    Loved seeing you tonight!!! I hate that it's always so fleeting. xoxo

  6. I'm definitely living my life with more purpose. Life is too precious to waste on things I don't want to do and people I don't really want to be around. At the end of the day all of that just distracts you from the things and opportunities that are meant to build you up or contribute something meaningful to your life. I'm finding it easier to say no and stick with it!

  7. i have no idea - i feel like a hot mess with time right now...

    Xo Megan

  8. Time is short, so we shouldn't waste it on mundane things. I admire you for being brave enough to say "No" when you have to. Exactly, a "happy and healthy" you makes for a happy and healthy Aiden. I'm also trying to take better care of myself now- emotionally and physically- for my daughter's sake. Loving them means loving ourselves first, right?

  9. Hard lesson to learn but I grasped this one a, few years ago. I even say no to my family!! If I'm not whole and healthy who will mother my 13 yo kid? Noone can be a better mom to him than I can. A happy me = a happy KT (your words!).


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