Monday, July 9, 2012

Alone, But Not Lonely


This weekend as Aiden and I were going about our scheduled activities -- swimming class, the Brooklyn Bridge Park, and lunch in the city -- a thought hit me: the end of the summer will mark two years since I ended the relationship with his other parent and welcomed life as a single mother. 

Two years. 

Wow!

When I think back to that first month after my ex moved out, I remember it as being no easy feat. Break-ups suck. Big time. The habits of that relationship became so engrained in me and in my daily life that I remember feeling a sense of loss when he actually moved out. There was some sense of "Wow... okay, this is actually over."

I'd gotten so used to our abnormal relationship that at some point it felt like "normal."

Not good. (And I'm so glad that I'm back to a much better "normal".)

At first, I thought I was going to be lonely. But then I realized that towards the tail end of that relationship, I was already lonely. And there's nothing worse than being lonely in a couple. Or lonely in a crowd. 

After a few months of being a single mother, I realized that I wasn't lonely. 

At all. 


I thought that I was going to be a co-parenting guru, but after trying (and trying... and trying) to make it work, I learned to embrace life as a solo single mother

It seems to be for the best. For Aiden. For me. For sanity.

I've experienced some challenges as a single mother. I've learned some lessons. Hard ones. But here I am, almost two years later...


It feels good.



Two years.

Wow!

Time flies when you're living life. 

15 comments:

  1. Ahh, how wonderful it is to be free. I also love the feeling of being alone but not lonely. xx

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  2. Yes, time does fly when you're living life and in a positive place!

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  3. Bad relationships are like bad habits. They're so hard to break but you're always better off once you've gotten that habit out of your system. Good for you, live your life girl!!!

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  4. Oh yes, time flies when you are making the best of life...living it up and that you are doing perfectly with Aiden. Keep it up!

    Just live your life hey ey ey ey ey....

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  5. What a perfect title for our post. You hit the nail on the head, it's worse to be lonely in a couple or crowd, so good for you for finding your groove without HIM.

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  6. Time does fly when you're living life! Good for you, girly! I love the title of this post, and your whole attitude/approach to life.

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  7. God bless you, my dear! Thanks for sharing.

    CCG
    Ccurlgirl.Blogspot.com

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    1. By the way, there is no loneliness with Jesus! ;)

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  8. Oh, Alicia you are one strong woman! Aiden is lucky to have you. You are definitely living life the way you should. Take care.

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  9. not only living but living well! what a blessing.

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  10. What all the others and Cam said while motivating a single mother of 13 years. I won't stop!!

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  11. Hi, just read your blog for the first time. I really like it. Where are you taking swimming classes with Aiden? I'm looking to start with my 6-mth old.

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    1. Thanks so much for that comment! We take classes at our local Y. He really enjoys it and has improved so much!

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  12. Time really does fly and if heartbreak has taught me anything, it's that time and distance really do bring perspective. I'm glad you're figuring that out and moving on so gracefully.

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