Friday, November 2, 2012

Parenting: Going At It Solo

The past couple of weeks have been trying ones around these parts. First, there was a change in my babysitter situation that had me scrambling to find a sitter to pick Aiden up from school and take him home four days out of the week. Then, I got sick. Then, Aiden got sick. Then, Hurricane Sandy came and left NYC (and parts of NJ) upside down and in shambles. We lost electricity, but only for a time and just got back heat and hot water yesterday.

Needless to say, it's been a hectic two weeks.

The babysitting thing I'm used to. Finding a sitter that you trust to care for your child, often on short notice, comes with the territory of motherhood. 

Aiden being sick, I could handle. He's been sick before. (Nothing too serious, thankfully.) And I've dropped everything to nurse the kid back to health. 

But, me being sick? And a hurricane? Back-to-back?

Ish just got real.

Experiencing those two things one after the other really was a test of my strength and will power. It really showed me what this delicious single momma is made of. 

At one point when I was sick, lying on the couch all day, and delegating responsibility to Aiden ("Go get a bowl from the dish rack, get the box of cereal from the counter, and make yourself a snack." or "Yep... you can watch another movie."), I wished for a minute (or two) that I had someone else to pass him off to. Someone else to carry the burden while I recovered. Someone else to take care of the to-do list that was piling up. 

Finally, I called in for reinforcements. I hit up my girl who lives on the other side of the borough and she was kind enough to bring over groceries, dinner, and a birthday gift for Aiden. (He turned five-years-old in the midst of all this.) I also hit up my homeboy D. He lives in Queens, but has a car and loves Aiden and would help in a heartbeat.

That's then I realized something. Again. It's totally okay to ask for help. It doesn't make you weaker, it makes you wiser. "It takes a village," is what they say. And I wholeheartedly agree. 
It's not easy being a solo single parent. You have to do twice as much with half the resources, which is trying in and of itself. In fact, I always joke with my friends that I like the way my paycheck looks for about 8.2 seconds. And then I think of the rent and Aiden's tuition and childcare costs and groceries and all the other expenses that we have. But you know what? I can pay all of our bills without the child support. And that's a blessing. 
I've accepted my life as a solo single mother. I've been going at it alone for over two years and, although it hasn't been a walk in the park, it's been a pretty sweet journey. After all, life is about playing the heck out of the hand you've been dealt. 

There are far worse fates in this life than living it as a single mother. I know this much. So I don't take anything for granted. I don't take any day for granted. I know how blessed I am. I know how blessed Aiden is.

And I'll continue to make a dollar out of fifteen cents and lemonade with lemons for as long as I have the strength to do so.


  1. I hope you're feeling better! It sounds like you have some amazing friends. We all need a break/help sometimes. Part of being strong is knowing when to ask for help. I've had to learn that lesson myself.

  2. Yes, it is ok to ask for help. It helps you to keep your sanity. I learned that when I moved closer to friends and family.

    Keep doing what you do.

  3. Your posts always get me teary eyed because I can relate to almost every word that I read. I've struggled with this for so long.. asking for help until I realized that it's ok. God put the right people in my life for a reason. I've made my peace with that I can take the S off my chest every now and then. I've realized that it doesn't make me weak.

  4. This is why I love your blog. You're real and take life as it comes. That's why you are one of my new favorite blogs . That's a whole lot to handle back to back.


I love reading what you have to say!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...