Wednesday, September 1, 2010

One Thing I Learned From My Son's Dad

Hey Lovelies!

Between Aiden's dad and me, I have always felt like I am the "better" parent. Well, not exactly "better," but, you know... more readily available. I mean, since it's always, always, always "mommy, mommy, MOMMY!" I feel that it's only fair for me to make such a statement.

Another really cute way that Aiden requests or demands my attention is "mommy, do you hear me? I talk to you!" Not "I'm talking to you!" He's hilarious. But that's a total tangent.

All of the parenting and childcare issues usually lands on me.. 96.5% of the time. Really. Getting the boy up in the morning, giving him milk in his favorite cup, making breakfast, packing his lunch and snacks for preschool, trying not to get into a power struggle when he wants to choose his own outfits, getting him to preschool, trying not to get into a power struggle when it's time to say "goodbye," picking him up from preschool, feeding him an afternoon snack... Are you tired yet?

No? Well... then there's dinner, bath time, story time, trying not to get into a power struggle when I've finished the 3rd book and story time in OVER, saying our prayers, hugs and kisses, and bedtime. WHEW! I'm definitely tired now.

Sometimes I feel like I do it all. ALL. And all the time. Don't get me wrong, I love knowing that I take good care of Aiden, but let me be honest, sometimes it's exhausting!

So exhausting that sometimes I pop in an Diego dvd when I just want to relax... and bedtime seems nowhere near in sight. Only thing is, Aiden always wants me to play with him... even when the dvd is on! Who knew?!

But with me taking care of almost everything for Aiden... and the house... and work... and graduate school, life (or sometimes Facebook) gets in the way of our play time.

But one thing that I have learned from Aiden's dad is how to be truly present while playing with Aiden. See... I can always look for the silver lining in every situation. Even this one. To him, taking care of Aiden means nonstop, total, and complete playing for a good half hour or so. To me, it's all of the nurturing and mothering stuff, which sometimes makes me too tired to truly play.

Thing is, I don't want Aiden to grow up thinking that I was too busy packing his lunch or cleaning the house to play with him and/or be fully present in the things that matter the most to him. And as this Fall semester kicks off, I have to remind myself of this NOW as opposed to when I'm in the midst of midterms or writing that 20-page final paper.

So here's my little reminder to myself: during Aiden's play time. PLAY MORE and FRET LESS! No blackberry, no Facebook, no dvd's in the background, no cleaning, no reading a great article for class. Just us two. Playing. Laughing. Having fun. And enjoying each other's company.

Smooches,
SweetAl

5 comments:

  1. This was great! My husband and I are the same way...I've noticed that he goes all out with my daughter as well and that is something that I've truly put some effort into working on. It's not that I don't want to play I guess through the hustle and bustle of life I forgot how...
    I think that it's always great to be able to look at something that troubles/annoys you and still be able to see the silver lining :-)

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  2. I agree that it's important to unplug from our own agendas and take time out for quality time with our kids and do something they're interested in like playing their favorite game. As moms everything does kind fall on us to handle-bath time, packing lunch, making dinner, cleaning, etc. It's certainly a full time job.

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  3. Love this post!! And I totally agree, I also feel like I'm the better parent and I'm responsible for my daughter because her Dad is not reliable. So I'm responsible for everything, for creating a spreadsheet comparing Kindergartens to coming up which dance class she should be signed up for. And I'm exhausted all the time, everyday. I too dont want my daughter to think or feel that Mommy is too busy to have fun with her. So the laundry can wait, the dishes can wait. Facebook can wait. But my daughter can't :)

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  4. @Charitables: Yes, I can look for the silver lining here. HAHA. Also, it's never the case that I don't WANT to play with my son, it's that sometimes I'm too tired to even THINK about playing... so I'm totally working on that -- playing even when/if I'm too tired.

    @YUMM: Full time job... oh yea! But learning to take time out for them is super super important... at all ages!

    @Mommy Glow: You hit it right on the nail -- everything can wait. Our children can't. Period.

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  5. I totally agree with this post. Moms are such great multi-taskers, juggling workloads, household chores, children and so much more that we forget how to turn it OFF.

    This year I decided to make a change and slowly but surely have been getting there. I have to admit my A Type personality can sometimes be a hinderance but what keeps me trying is the look in my sons' eyes when they have my complete attention.

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