Thursday, September 16, 2010
Just Accept the Help, Lady
Aiden had his first homework assignment the other day. Nothing major, just to color and paste some things together as best as possible since he is only in the 3's class. Because I am in graduate school, I had class that night until 9pm and obviously was unavailable to help him with his homework. My sister, who has graciously offered to pick him up on those days (bless her!), helped him instead.
When she called me to tell me that they'd finished his homework and that he'd done such a fantastic job, etc, etc, etc, I felt a tinge of jealousy. And that feeling was followed by a pinch of guilt.
Although she only has to care for him a couple evenings per week, I want to be the one who does that. I want to be the one who meets with his teachers at the end of the day. And helps him with his homework. And tells him what a great job he's done. After all, I am his mother.
But obviously, on the nights that I have class, I can't. I can't be in two places at once and finishing grad school is a *major* priority of mines. So yea... can't help Aiden with his homework on the nights that I have class.
I've always been pretty self-sufficient. I've always been able to pretty much solve my own problems and push myself to reach a higher level. And I pride myself on my ability to be independent. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but I'm just trying to show that I've gotten so used to taking care of myself that sometimes (not all the time, but sometimes) it makes me really uncomfortable to ask for help and accept it.
But I'm not super woman. And I don't have special super-human powers.
So.... as part of my whole "take care of myself first" project, I am learning to suck it up, humble myself, and just accept the help.
How exactly am I going to do this?
Well, I'm nixing the guilty feeling (I'm beginning to see that it serves no purpose anyway) and I'm continuing to remind myself that the people who are in our lives are here to make it a lil' bit more manageable. And even though I enjoy doing all of the mommy things for Aiden (most of the time.. lol), and I like feeling like a reliable mommy and knowing that he knows he can always depend on me... I just can NOT do it all. I mean, really.
So, as self-sufficient and as independent as I wanna be, mommy needs help too. Period. I'm learning to just accept the help... with open arms.
After all, it takes a village to raise a child. Right?!