Thursday, September 16, 2010

Just Accept the Help, Lady

Hey Lovelies!

Aiden had his first homework assignment the other day. Nothing major, just to color and paste some things together as best as possible since he is only in the 3's class. Because I am in graduate school, I had class that night until 9pm and obviously was unavailable to help him with his homework. My sister, who has graciously offered to pick him up on those days (bless her!), helped him instead.

When she called me to tell me that they'd finished his homework and that he'd done such a fantastic job, etc, etc, etc, I felt a tinge of jealousy. And that feeling was followed by a pinch of guilt.

Although she only has to care for him a couple evenings per week, I want to be the one who does that. I want to be the one who meets with his teachers at the end of the day. And helps him with his homework. And tells him what a great job he's done. After all, I am his mother.

But obviously, on the nights that I have class, I can't. I can't be in two places at once and finishing grad school is a *major* priority of mines. So yea... can't help Aiden with his homework on the nights that I have class.

I've always been pretty self-sufficient. I've always been able to pretty much solve my own problems and push myself to reach a higher level. And I pride myself on my ability to be independent. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but I'm just trying to show that I've gotten so used to taking care of myself that sometimes (not all the time, but sometimes) it makes me really uncomfortable to ask for help and accept it.

But I'm not super woman. And I don't have special super-human powers.

So.... as part of my whole "take care of myself first" project, I am learning to suck it up, humble myself, and just accept the help.

How exactly am I going to do this?

Well, I'm nixing the guilty feeling (I'm beginning to see that it serves no purpose anyway) and I'm continuing to remind myself that the people who are in our lives are here to make it a lil' bit more manageable. And even though I enjoy doing all of the mommy things for Aiden (most of the time.. lol), and I like feeling like a reliable mommy and knowing that he knows he can always depend on me... I just can NOT do it all. I mean, really.

So, as self-sufficient and as independent as I wanna be, mommy needs help too. Period. I'm learning to just accept the help... with open arms.

After all, it takes a village to raise a child. Right?!



  1. Thanks for the follow and comments! You are on hot mama and a smart one too it sounds like! So awesome you are almost done with your MA! I am soooo beyond ADHD when it comes to graduate school...I want to do it but I would prefer to do it online and even more so prefer to go to one that is super easy to get into LMAO!

  2. I'm glad you found my blog, and I'm glad I've found yours!! :) I am also new to blogging... but I'm addicted!

    Keep your head up, being a single mom is tough!! (Been there, done that!) Just rely on your support system and remember they ARE there to help... even when you want to be the one doing it all!! :) Have a great weekend!


  3. I swear you crawled into my brain! Wow I honestly could have written this post myself!! SOo crazy!!! First, how cute that he has homework!! I love when my daughter has homework, and better than that SHE loves when she has homework so its a win-win! I am in the same boat as you, but I'm getting my Bachelors. But I dont have anyone around to ask for help. So its me and the kid until she goes to sleep then I stay up all night doing my homework. Man would I love just a little bit of help. Someone to pick her up for me so I could just have 5 minutes of sanity to pull myself together. If only. But then I think, when I did have help I was a complete mess because I didnt have my daughter with me. I have grown so accustomed to it just being her and I. I dont depend on anyone for anything and dont rely on anyone to help me or my child. Just the way it is. I commend you on trying to accept help with open arms, its no easy task but know that it will only benefit you. Keep up the good work!!

  4. @Tish: gotta love blogging. And yes, it IS tough. But I'm *trying* to learn to accept help.

    @Mommgy Glow: I LOVE it when other moms and me have the same thoughts! Makes me feel like I'm not going crazy or something. I love knowing that I'm reliable and can get ish done and that my son can depend on my. AND... I've gotten SO used to doing things on. my. own. Accepting help is not at all an easy task for me. But as long as I'm in school, I have no choice (and I'm assumming even after I graduate there will still be times when I need the help?) I'm really trying to learn to just accept it b/c Lord knows, doing it all is exhausting me.... and burning me out. Sigh.

    And know that I'm cheering you on all the way as you get your Bachelors. POW!

  5. It does take a village! You've been awarded one lovely blog award! Come over to my blog and claim it!

  6. Great post. You are right just accept the help and remember why you werent there. You are moving forward with your career so your son can too. Its hard for moms to do but you have to take of yourself first both mind and spirt otherwise you will not be the best for you son.

    Keep hanging in there


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