Mommies are great at multi-tasking. Unfortunately, this can be a blessing and a curse.As a newly single mom, I find that my mind is always racing. I'm always thinking about the next thing on my mile-long list of things-to-do. I'm always thinking about how I'm going to find the time to accomplish things, and do them well. I want Aiden to have a top-notch mommy and not put him at a "disadvantage" because he is no longer lives in a two-parent household.
But because I want to do it all, I am always on the go. Always.
Lately this has been the case even during my weekends when I don't do anything work-related, but spend time with Aiden or catch up with friends. It's funny that even during these "leisure" activities, my mind is constantly thinking of the thousand things that I have to do. I love the activities that I do with Aiden. And I love spending time with friends. Both energizes me in different ways. But I've been having trouble putting the brakes on things, relaxing, and just being "in the moment."
I'm always thinking of bills that need be paid, assignments that need to be completed, the load of laundry that I have yet to do, or (lately) if my dinner is going to come out edible-looking and yummy.
And if it's not one thing, it's another. It's all a balancing act and I don't have it down quite yet.
I want to give Aiden a mother who is always put together and always on-point. But I fall short of that about 50 times a day because me trying to be perfect 100% of the time = major mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion! Not to mention, A LOT of tension in my shoulders and back, which is usually where I hold all my stress.
So yea... I'm not the perfect mother. And I'm way too hard on myself.
But somethings gotta give. And after reading a post last week on The Young Mommy Life, I was relieved to realize that I'm not the only mommy on the planet with these sentiments. Mommies need a time-out too, gosh darnit!
Although Aiden will be 3-years-old next month, I have to remind myself that with each stage that he -- we -- go through, it is NEW. And that's okay. It's okay to be a novice. I'm still figuring out this whole single mommy/ full time graduate school student thing... and that's okay. It's okay to still be figuring things out. That's all apart of growing. And all apart of motherhood. And all apart of life.
So... what am I going to do about the tension in my shoulders and back? I've already booked a massage appointment. Lovelovelove 'em. Hopefully I'll be able to relax, be in the moment, and just enjoy the massage.