Friday, December 2, 2011

Can We Push Ourselves Too Hard?

A few weeks ago, I found myself at a very swanky venue on Manhattan’s Lower East Side mixing and mingling with Supermodel Christy Turlington for the launch of Avon’s latest fragrance, Step Into Sexy. I was on assignment for Momtrends. As I stood among other media personnel with a cocktail in my hand (always), I found myself talking about my day job (a Socio-emotional Therapist for teens in foster care). One of the ladies turned to me and said, “You have the best of both worlds. You get to do what you love during the day… and in the evenings. You figured it out!”

{Christy Turlington Burns. Me.}
On the subway ride home, I got to thinking… 

Let’s see… Motherhood + one full time job + several Freelance gigs (check the column to your right) + a social life = errr, anyone have a calculator so that I can tally all of this up? 

Make no mistakes about it, I love what I do, both as my day job and as a Writer. Heck, I’d write for free and I have written for free (all you PR people reading this, feel free to disregard the latter statement. #ThankYouVeryMuch). Both of my jobs allow me to be a blessing to others. It's my purpose. This may sound strange, but I feel as though this is exactly where I'm supposed to be at this very moment in my life. But it's a constant grind. I know this. I write blog posts while commuting on the subway and/or compose them in my mind while taking a shower or working out. It's constant multi-tasking. All the time. All day and almost everyday. 

I'm busy with motherhood, my day job, freelancing/ media related events, socializing, and sleeping (in that order). But THIS is what I wanted. And THIS is what I want. I wouldn't have it any other way at this very moment in my life. (You can't have it all and still have a full 8 hours of sleep every night, right?)

While I don’t feel like I’ve “arrived” at all, I can envision my career trajectory and it looks good. To me. I feel as though if I keep pushing and grinding through for the next few years, I’ll get “there.” Eventually. 

(Although, a huge part of me feels as though I should never quite “arrive,” but should always be striving for something more and something greater. Because there is always something more to learn. And do. Right?)

THIS is my dream. And I feel blessed that I can live it out everyday. Not everyone can say that they are so lucky. 

I learned (and am still learning) how to side hustle my side hustle and, as a single mother, the extra income is pretty darn sweet.

Is the constant push tiring? Yes, sometimes.

But is it worth it? Totally.

What are you grinding for?


  1. Yes! I am still trying to find that balance. Like I feel like I spend a lot of time doing things I enjoy but then where is my 'me' time. I guess I have to schedule it in the way I do everything else.

  2. You go girl! You are inspiring to so many, including me! I'm just grinding for a little something extra with writing. I love to write and thank God for my blog, but I want to write more about working and motherhood and the balance we're all shooting for!

  3. I hear you and touch and agree. I work a 9-5 and have the children's book business which is another full time job. And then - I'm a mommy and wife too!
    That's four jobs.

    And I wouldn't give it up for the world :)

  4. I totally agree that living the life you've always dreamed is totally worth all the grinding and sacrifices. I, too, love that my writing always me to help others. You're right, we should always work towards arriving because times and things are constantly changing and there's always a next level to upgrade to.

  5. I am trying to find that balance between what sustains me and what brings me joy. I try to spend my time away from my day job doing things that I love and are passionate about.

  6. I totally understand. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be able to go to bed at a decent time, but still find myself up at all hours of the night trying to accomplish what needs to be done. I think there is definitely a place where the take off requires more work and discipline than the maintenance.I'm still in the launching stage, so it requires that much work and discipline.

  7. I love this!! You do have the best of both worlds but it's important to pace ourselves so that we will not feel burned out!!!!

  8. First things first, fabulous photo of you with Christy!

    Secondly, i agree with this - it is definitely possible to balance it all, and "appear" like Super Woman from the outside looking in.... but not without a price. I too feel exhausted often but, like you said, it's worth it when i know that my hard work will pay off in the end.

  9. Alicia, you are such an inspiration. Though my years of parenting little people will soon be over, I enjoy reading your blog. I once thought when my son entered into college I would have time to foster-parent children who need a loving home, but I have been a parent since the tender age of 17. I am rethinking my future! I would love to travel. And perhaps I could grow up and be like you. For a young woman you have it all together. You go girl!

  10. Christy Turlington was always one of my fav models, she still gat it. Alicia, I agree with you totally, you have to hustle, hard to get where you want to be in life. Period. I admire and respect the soldier in you!

  11. I am nowhere near figuring out how to balance motherhood and pursuing my outside passions. I am a 100% all-in type person. I can only give my all to one thing at a time. I made a conscious decision to focus on my child (and the second one arriving on April) for their first few years. Does that mean I have given up on my dreams? They are on temporary hold/pause. Meanwhile, I get to read about awesome moms like you who are out their doing it all and I am taking notes for when I am ready to get back in the game!

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  13. u are def one of the few females as a single mother that is so strong, out-standing, powerful and focus. I tip my hat off to you in many many ways. keep being the best you can be and god will keep blessing you. happy Sunday

  14. You so inspire me. I do understand the late night early mornings and constant grind. I was on it at one time. Unfortunately I'm not in grad school right now but I am always striving, planning and dreaming. I can't wait to be staying up late again studying and trying to juggle the blog and keeping KT on track. Despite the fact that we MUST take cares of ourselves it is always so worth it to fulfill a goal. Blessings!

  15. Great post..(and pic of you and Christy)
    I totally hear you on this...I started my own biz 6 months ago and feel like I am always grinding...doing all your own PR/Marketing and getting the word out as low cost as difficult and time consuming. I have done my fair share of writing for free...donating and partnering with charities (which I will continue to do and feel great about) but it ALL takes time ...time away from my son...which I feel guilty about...especially since there is no huge payday yet...but I hope that some success comes, and I know it fulfills me...i jsut have to find the balance..and some days that is MUCH easier then others, lol.
    Hope you are having a great week:)

  16. Love this post and couldn't agree more. I feel like I'll have time to sleep when my kids go off to college. I think in a sick way I probably enjoy the chaos.

  17. Love this post. I don't get enough sleep either. To chase one's dreams something has to give. I'm so lucky you give a portion of your talents to Momtrends. xoxo

  18. You are definitely blessed!! Best of both worlds indeed. I still have not found balance in my life. Can't wait until I'm able to say the same.


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