Wednesday, June 25, 2014

{Dating Tales} I Miss Being Single

Okay, okay... maybe that tittle is a little provocative. I don't miss being single per se, and I definitely don't miss the bang ups and hang ups and bad dates (although they made for some funny blog posts) and the missed opportunities of the dating scene.

But I do find that as I'm learning to navigate this relationship with The Guy -- and all the responsibilities that go along with being in my first functional adult romantic relationship -- I do miss feeling competent at what I'm doing.

Does that make sense?

Lemme explain...

I got real good real fast at being single, partially because being single only had to do with me. Now, I'm here, learning the ropes of what it means to be in a solid relationship and it's more that just me. In fact, more often that not, I'm learning that it's not about me. It's about us. And what's best for the both of us.

Growing pains. At its finest.

And while I've been so focused on my relationship (and motherhood and work and adjunct professoring and blogging and speaking engagements), I've neglected my friendships over the past few months.

(Is that normal? Please tell me that that's normal!)

And don't even get me started on the fact that I'm so used to things going south that I've been waiting for something bad to happen in this perfectly fine and good relationship.

(Is that normal? Please tell me that that's normal too!)

Oh... and I really miss my friends. The hanging out, the trying out of new restaurants and neighborhoods in NYC, the rooftop lounges... it's what made me feel safe and sane, and quite frankly, keep my ish together. In essence, it's what made me me. And I miss that. And, more importantly, I miss them.

My solution? Get some balance in my life that includes nurturing my friendships. So I've been making plans with them -- all of them -- over the next few weeks. Brunch with A and T this week, brunch with LB over the weekend, happy hour with Linds next week, and the On The Run tour with K, K, and L the week after next. (And, please believe, there's more where that came from!)

The Guy is great and I'm so happy we found each other, but I know myself well enough to know that I need my friends in my life -- on a consistent basis -- as well. I'm still learning how to successfully navigate this relationship thing. So I guess these feelings are normal and expected, right?

(If they're not... humor me.)

Sigh. We complain when we're single and we got something to say when we're all boo'ed up too.

Bear with me, y'all. I'm still a work in progress.

1 comment:

  1. normal and it's all good. your figuring out your balance and good guy that he is, he recognizes how important this is to you.


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