Wednesday, January 9, 2013

{Dating Tales} Should This Be A Deal Breaker?

[photo via]

I'm a Writer.

Well, let's back that up a bit. I write things for the Internet sometimes. It's a nice part time gig and one that I absolutely love.

I'm also an Educator. I used to be a Teacher and now I work as part of the leadership team in an elementary charter school.

That being said, I'm a stickler for grammar and punctuation. Proper grammar and proper punctuation. Ask Aiden and ask anyone of my former students. That's just how I am and I don't think it's asking for too much.

That being said, I just can't bring myself to date someone who makes basic grammatical errors. I've been talking to this guy -- let's just call him BGG (Bad Grammar Guy) -- and, about a week ago, I told him this: I'm not interested in dating you.

When he responded by saying, "I'm wondering what's missing n you eyes," I wanted to reply, "IT'S YOUR GRAMMAR!"

But I didn't.

Of course, it's not only his grammar. It's his spelling and punctuation too. (Just kidding. Sorta. He's really a nice guy and all, but I'm just not feeling him in that way.)

If you were to go back and read my previous posts/Facebook status updates/Tweets, I'm sure you'll find a grammatical error here and there. But I won't date someone who constantly makes grammatical errors as though he didn't finish third grade, especially since English is his first language.

[photo via]

I cringe whenever I read a text from him that says, "Ok kewl just sayin hi."

Newsflash: A 30-year-old man should know where a period goes. Period. And he should not say "kewl" when the word is "cool."

That's not cool. At all.

Bad grammar is a definite deal-breaker for this delicious single gal.

But, here's the thing: Am I being too weird/shallow/stuck up about this? What's a definite deal-breaker for you?

Editor's Note: This post, which was entitled Bad Grammar Guy, was originally published on August 1, 2012. Now there's a potential new guy (more on that in a later post... stay tuned), but the same issue -- bad grammar. (Is this some kind of trend that I missed the memo for?!) He thinks it shouldn't be that big of a deal since it's just texting. What are your thoughts? Am I being too picky?


  1. I'm okay with that. If you are a grown man there is no reason to reinvent the wheel when it comes to spelling. "Kewl" is cool; "n" is in; and so forth.

  2. I'm not single, but if I were this would drive me crazy. I do not like having to decipher what you mean in a text message.

  3. I agree with you. An articulate man is a huge turn on and a green light to at least continue to get to know the man...but BOY BYE! I couldn't do it either lol

  4. i think so far you haven't met the right one and these little things stick out (i'm almost certain they are other things you don't like about BGG). if he were the right one, i think you'd be able to have a sensible conversation around this with him and move on.

    i text in slang sometimes also and i consider myself a grammar nerd (see i just committed a cardinal offense by typing everything in lower case).

    hopefully the next guy will understand your point of view.

    1. I totally agree. I met a guy who was very intelligent but couldn't spell/write to save his life. But, I was able to overlook that because he had qualities that overshadowed his linguistic struggles.

      I know it's annoying, but if that's his only downfall, just give him a chance.

  5. I'm seriously cracking up at "I'm wondering what's missing n you eyes" LMFAO!! I mean, I don't think you are asking too much. Someone who can spell words out... gee how dare you want that. LOL.

  6. This is an absolute deal breaker for me too. Language like that just implies someone is not only childish, but not very educated. It doesn't have to be so, of course, but it does rouse the impression. It's such a turn off and I would die before I'd introduce someone like that to my friends or family. They'd laugh at him first, then at me.

    Big no-no.

    Maybe we're language snobs?

  7. I think that all single people have things that are deal breakers for them. Grammar isn't mine but I can see how it is important to you. For me it was someone who wasted money. I don't think I'm cheap but I wanted to date someone who could have fun but was smart with their money.

  8. When I was single I met a guy who was nice and cute in person, but his emails to me were horrendous. Bad spelling, bad grammar and it was just a turn off. I wondered if he was a bad student in school (education is an important value I was raised with). Either that or just didn't care to take the time to write a note without errors. We didn't go out again.

  9. Would it be awful of me to point out your mistake in this post?
    I appreciate grammar/spelling etc...but it's not a deal breaker, especially if online or in a text.

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  11. I think because you are in the education field, it is harder to ignore bad Grammar than other people. My mom spent her life as an educator and she is really sensitive to bad Grammar too. She cannot stand it! Mr BGG on the other hand writes REALLY bad. I would hope he knows better but is just too lazy to write properly?... One can hope.

    For me though, a deal breaker is definitely bad manners and bad breath. A man needs to be a gentle man and I hate bad etiquette at the dinner table. Oh and if he refers to shrimp as done.


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