Friday, January 4, 2013

{Guest Post} Raising Mommy

Written by Chanel Free

As a new mom, I always think about what I can do to give my girls the best life possible. I'm not talking about material things (although that is part of it) I'm more focused on having them grow up to be well rounded young women that understand their worth, set goals, and pursue them to the best of their ability. Essentially, I want to raise them right.

Give them the best of the best, teach them all the lessons I have learned, shield them from hurt and pain, and be a great role model. I will be damned if my girls look up to Nicki Minaj because they don't have a positive female at home that shows them the way. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to judge anyone, but I believe that the reason many young girls get off track in life is because they don't have full-time positive role models to look up to.

All of my focus is on 'raising' them and doing the best that I can for them as a mother. Never ever did I imagine that they would be raising me. Teaching me lessons. Showing me things about life through their eyes. All this time, I was thinking about what I can do for them never considering what they could bring into my life. Obviously, I knew that having kids would be a joyful experience and that's what I had hoped for. But, I hadn't contemplated that they would be teaching me--Raising Mommy!

[Chanel and London]
London is 2 years old and Violet is 2 months old. One summer afternoon, London and I were enjoying some mommy and baby time. We were coloring and she was having such a great time. She had just learned how to use her new crayons and was fascinated by the fact that she could write on something including the walls in my house (but that's a whole other post). Each time she made a mark in the book she screamed and smiled. Me on the other hand, I was coloring inside the lines trying to make our picture perfect. Then, it hit me!

You don't need to be perfect! Sometimes, its okay to be all over the place, to just be free and enjoy the moment. Not worrying about what the outcome will be or what others will say. I guess, I got so caught up with taking care of myself, my man, my kids, my home, and pursing my career that I had lost some of my ability to be free.

I had trained myself to be structured and focused so that I could manage all of the things I have on my plate. In that very moment, London had taught me to always remember to enjoy life. Let go! Be free! Appreciate the little things!

Motherhood is complex. There is no handbook to show you whats right or wrong. The funny thing is, when moms tell their daughters about motherhood and when women share their stories about becoming moms they boisterously talk about the hardships of parenting, but whisper about powerful moments that shape us and our little ones.

As parents we make lots of sacrifices and burn the midnight oil just to make sure that your kids are safe and secure, but I urge you to be open to learning from your little ones. They have lots of value to add to your life. By encouraging them to do their best, we can also learn to be our best. Embrace the experience. Savor each precious moment. And enjoy all that motherhood has to offer.

About the author: Chanel is a Brooklyn mother of two beautiful baby girls named London and Violet and girlfriend and partner to an amazing man named Jay. When she's not at her day job as an Advocate Counselor, she blogs over on Unleashing Your Bad B.


  1. Amazing. It's so refreshing to read stories like these.. of mothers being mothers..good mothers. GREAT mothers. She definitely has a point. If it's one thing my children have taught me, it's patience and perseverance.

  2. Thank you for the kind words, Carla. It was truly an enlightening experience. I am so looking forward to the years ahead.

  3. Indeed. I had the pleasure of having my son be my first child and that meant the world to me. Giving birth to my daughter six years later, also meant the world to me and transformed me as a person. I am a better woman because of the woman I want her to be.

  4. Absolutely, Tamieka! I had always been responsible, but didn't always follow my good judgment or do my very best and having my girls has encouraged me to self reflect in ways that I have not done in the past. Thanks for commenting!

  5. It's a good reminder that I don't need to be perfect!!

  6. Great pos, the pic is adorable and I can identify. We learn from our kids just as much as they do from us. Motherhood is the best!

  7. What a beautiful article. It's true that our children can teach us many lessons but there ability to be carefree and enjoy life. I love it. Your an amazing writer and wonderful mother. Never forget this :)


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