I've found myself having a lot of sentimental moments recently when it pertains to Aiden. I've just been stopping and staring at the kid.
I mean, I can't believe that he'll be five-years-old next month. Five!
And although I'm in awe at how fast time has flown and how, everyday, this kid comes into his own, I can't help but think how far we have come in the past five years.
How far we have come.
I remember the moment that my pregnancy test came back positive and I thought "Ah, sh*t... my life is over." And then I think about the fact that I've never felt more alive or more like I'm living a life of purpose right now. And I'm thankful.
I recall feeling like I didn't know what the heck I was doing as a young mother and that I was in way over my head. And then I think about the fact that I've learned to swim (instead of sink) in this thing called motherhood. And I'm grateful.
I think about the time that I made the decision to apply to graduate school, and how scared I was to take on the title of Student Mother. Being a full time student for those 2.5 -- 3 years was no easy feat -- there were a lot of sleepless nights and a lot of blood (figuratively), sweat, and tears (literally). But then... I think about that glorious graduation day. And it makes me smile.
I remember the abuse, the strangulation, and the being held hostage. Like it was yesterday. I remember the screams and the cries. And the confusion.
I remember being terrified to take on the title of Single Mother.
But I'm rocking it. (As best as I could, anyway.) And that gives me a great feeling of accomplishment.
I recall starting this blog and not knowing if it'll mean anything. Or if it'll make an impact on someone's life. (After all, all I want to do is inspire someone. Anyone. You!) But then... I think of all the messages and emails that I get from readers. And it makes me smile. This site does mean something. And you do leave here a little more inspired. (Hopefully.)
Next month, my baby will turn five-years-old.
Man... I've come a long way in that time.