Wednesday, September 26, 2012

What Self-Reflection Can Do For You

I've found myself having a lot of sentimental moments recently when it pertains to Aiden. I've just been stopping and staring at the kid.

In amazement.

I mean, I can't believe that he'll be five-years-old next month. Five!

And although I'm in awe at how fast time has flown and how, everyday, this kid comes into his own, I can't help but think how far we have come in the past five years.

How far we have come.

I remember the moment that my pregnancy test came back positive and I thought "Ah, sh*t... my life is over." And then I think about the fact that I've never felt more alive or more like I'm living a life of purpose right now. And I'm thankful.

I recall feeling like I didn't know what the heck I was doing as a young mother and that I was in way over my head. And then I think about the fact that I've learned to swim (instead of sink) in this thing called motherhood. And I'm grateful.

I think about the time that I made the decision to apply to graduate school, and how scared I was to take on the title of Student Mother. Being a full time student for those 2.5 -- 3 years was no easy feat -- there were a lot of sleepless nights and a lot of blood (figuratively), sweat, and tears (literally). But then... I think about that glorious graduation day. And it makes me smile.

I remember the abuse, the strangulation, and the being held hostage. Like it was yesterday. I remember the screams and the cries. And the confusion.

I remember being terrified to take on the title of Single Mother.

But I'm rocking it. (As best as I could, anyway.) And that gives me a great feeling of accomplishment.

I recall starting this blog and not knowing if it'll mean anything. Or if it'll make an impact on someone's life. (After all, all I want to do is inspire someone. Anyone. You!) But then... I think of all the messages and emails that I get from readers. And it makes me smile. This site does mean something. And you do leave here a little more inspired. (Hopefully.)

Next month, my baby will turn five-years-old.

Man... I've come a long way in that time.


  1. Great post! It's always nice to think about where we started as women and now mothers. My daughter just turned two and I can not believe how far our family has come!

  2. Awww this is a great post...and you are rocking it!

  3. I love your heartfelt posts like this one - you have come a long way and have a lot to be proud of. Your little man is going to be growing up proud of his mama, too!

  4. Student Mother... that title is no joke. And as hard as it may seem for me at times, there have been several times I stopped myself from complaining and remember that you took 5 graduate level courses at a time. I can't even handle 5 undergrad classes at a time (yet... working on that). So thank you for being an inspiration ♥

  5. Rock on fellow mom. You've done well and you are doing well. I've learned to appreciate the journey and not be so hard on myself. One thing I measure the success of this job by is how well my man child is doing. 13 years in and we are still doing well. He isn't giving me MAJOR headaches. That's amazing when statistics suggest black males can't be raised in single parent homes and do well.


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