Friday, January 7, 2011

Resilient Women Learn The Lesson... And Move Forward

I can't take credit for those words. They are the words that I read from Angela Burt-Murray, the Editor-in-Chief of Essence Magazine a few months back.

But they resonate with me. And they have resonated with me since I first read them.

Today I read these words and, not surprisingly, I think of the not-so-great relationship with my ex. I think of how I stayed in that relationship although I knew it was not working. I think of how I stayed because I didn't want to feel as though I failed at it.

For so long I felt as though I had to stay in the relationship because it had altered my life in so many ways. Hello, Aiden! I felt as though I had given up so much of myself just to be in the relationship. Goodbye young, single, carefree lifestyle! 

But what about all of the things that I would be giving up in my future if I stayed? What about my happiness? What about my emotional, mental, and physical well-being?

The second that I began to picture things in my life to be better than they were, I knew it was time to move forward. Learn the lesson. And move forward.

I met a man, started a relationship, did the deed, and birthed a son. And that part of it was good. Great even. So I can not criticize myself for having tried to make things work with him. Even when it seemed as though it was not, well, working.

But at the same time, I can not criticize myself for finally ending the relationship once I came to the realization that it was just not going to work.

What happened, happened. It is no longer in my control. But how I choose to move forward is completely within my control.

The only thing that I can do now is learn the lesson. And move forward. By focusing on the positive aspects of our lives, I will empower Aiden to focus on the positive things as well.

Life is so uncertain and it hardly ever goes as we plan. But even with all its uncertainty, twists, turns, and stumbling blocks, there is always a silver lining. I believe that. Wholeheartedly. A silver lining where you can learn the lesson, whatever that may be. And move forward.

So here's to 2011 -- a year where we can all learn more lessons. And bravely move forward.



  1. Great post hun! Here's to 2011, the lessons we'll learn, and moving forward!

  2. wonderful post! A great attitude to have! Wish you the best as your bravely look towards the future!

    thanks for stopping by & following my blog

    I am following you now.


  3. Great quote and good for you for moving forward!

  4. You've got the right perspective!

  5. Hello! New follower to your Beautiful Blog! I love the attitude you have for you & your sons way of living. *smile* I look foward to getting to know more of you. *smile*
    Stay Blessed..

  6. I think this a wonderful post, so well written, but also so true. I completely agree with you - life certainly never goes according to plan. But ultimately, you do have control over your own destiny and what you do with your life. If you look hard, there is always a silver lining!! Beautiful!

  7. Powerful and beautiful post. I was in a similar situation but I can honestly say that I'm in a place now where I am truly happy. Granted, I didn't want things to occur the way that they did, it was for the best, nevertheless.

    All is well!

    Happy New Year!

  8. I love this post! Anything you do to empower yourself as a woman benefits you and your son. I'm sure that's your ultimate goal.

    Wishing you all the best in 2011! :)

  9. Yes and Yes. We must bravely move forward. You've grown so much, its truly amazing. You are such a phenomenal role model for Aiden. Seriously each post you write is moving in the right direction. For you & sweet Aiden. Keep it up.

  10. Great post, Alicia! I was appreciate how insightful and inspiring you are. You have such a wonderful future ahead of you and I can say that with all confidence even without having met you! Continue to press forward!


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