Friday, January 7, 2011
Resilient Women Learn The Lesson... And Move Forward
I can't take credit for those words. They are the words that I read from Angela Burt-Murray, the Editor-in-Chief of Essence Magazine a few months back.
But they resonate with me. And they have resonated with me since I first read them.
Today I read these words and, not surprisingly, I think of the not-so-great relationship with my ex. I think of how I stayed in that relationship although I knew it was not working. I think of how I stayed because I didn't want to feel as though I failed at it.
For so long I felt as though I had to stay in the relationship because it had altered my life in so many ways. Hello, Aiden! I felt as though I had given up so much of myself just to be in the relationship. Goodbye young, single, carefree lifestyle!
But what about all of the things that I would be giving up in my future if I stayed? What about my happiness? What about my emotional, mental, and physical well-being?
The second that I began to picture things in my life to be better than they were, I knew it was time to move forward. Learn the lesson. And move forward.
I met a man, started a relationship, did the deed, and birthed a son. And that part of it was good. Great even. So I can not criticize myself for having tried to make things work with him. Even when it seemed as though it was not, well, working.
But at the same time, I can not criticize myself for finally ending the relationship once I came to the realization that it was just not going to work.
What happened, happened. It is no longer in my control. But how I choose to move forward is completely within my control.
The only thing that I can do now is learn the lesson. And move forward. By focusing on the positive aspects of our lives, I will empower Aiden to focus on the positive things as well.
Life is so uncertain and it hardly ever goes as we plan. But even with all its uncertainty, twists, turns, and stumbling blocks, there is always a silver lining. I believe that. Wholeheartedly. A silver lining where you can learn the lesson, whatever that may be. And move forward.
So here's to 2011 -- a year where we can all learn more lessons. And bravely move forward.