The truth is, the ship sailed on our day in the sun a long time before the relationship actually ended, and tragically, I was still on it. For far too long. I remember reaching several low points. But I think one of my lowest point was when I could no longer see myself as awesome.
I'm going to pause to allow you to re-read that sentence. And let it sink in.
And because I could no longer see myself as awesome, I slowly started to believe that I was not awesome. Not deserving of basic things people enter a relationship for. Not worthy. Not worth it.
Not to speak badly about my son's father, but staying in that relationship took away so much from me -- almost to the point where I couldn't recognize myself anymore.
Sad, but true.
Almost as if I gave so much and lost so much more in the process. Lost my sense of self. Lost my purpose. Lost my way.
I couldn't see myself as awesome. And I couldn't see my way out.
But somehow, someway, I made it out. Alive and well. I have a few scars, but I'm out. Better. Stronger. Wiser. Lovelier. And more loving.
I'm on a mission now to figure out how do I learn from the incidents of my past relationship so that it does not happen to me again. And I'm starting to figure out that it's by remembering my worth. Every. Single. Day.
I wish it hadn't taken me as long as it did to come back to myself, but hey, everything in it's time, right?
But you... you can learn from what I went through. And know that you don't have to stay in a relationship where you don't feel good about yourself anymore. You're worthy. And you're worth it.
We all are.