Before I had Aiden, I was pretty much always on top of things. Whenever I had an incredibly long list of things-to-do, I'd feel so happy when I was able to cross them out one-by-one. Fast. And that feeling was the best thing ever. It really kept me motivated. And it kept my adrenaline going. I felt like I was in control and I loved, loved, loved it!
When I got pregnant, I got all sorts of "advice" from people. You know, the kind of advice that you just take with a grain of salt or just smile and nod, turn the other way, and roll your eyes. If you're sarcastic like me, anyway.
First I'd hear, "you will never have time to sleep again." I was used to not sleeping much, so hey. Next I'd hear, "you'll never have time to shower again." Umm... yea, okay. Then I'd hear, "try not to be so controlling because when the baby comes you won't be able to control every little thing." Obviously these people didn't know that I had a system in place and was used to sticking to it. They just don't know, right? Wrong!
Enter baby. That incredibly long list of things-to-do suddenly became longer and longer, and I suddenly became less and less able to "just do it." I felt as though I was losing control. And I did not like it. Now that last piece of advice was something that I should have listened to!
I spent the first few months trying to balance everything, aka control everything, and let me tell ya... I was fighting a loosing battle.
Since then I've learned this one simple thing: I cannot control every little thing -- a fact that I just had to deal with. I learned to chill out with that Type-A, everything has to be perfect personality and just go with the flow sometimes.
- Our apartment will never be completely spotless; there will be toys (and stains!) sometimes
- My son will not eat everything that I would like him to eat because "picky eaters" is a real phenomenon; I can only encourage him to eat the good stuff (fruits, veggies, grains... you get it)
- If Aiden doesn't want to try something new (like swimming), believe me, he won't. I can't make him do it, I can only encourage him to do it.
- Sometimes the laundry may get piled up... to the ceiling. But that's okay. I'll just do it when we don't have anymore clothes left to wear
- As carefully as I have mapped out our day, there will always be detours along the way. And I have to be prepared to deal with them
This list could go on and on, but who has that much time, right? Since giving birth to my lovely little Aiden, I have actually taken the advice (gasp!) and stopped trying to control every little thing. I have given myself a personality makeover and lightened up a bit.
The bottom line: Motherhood has taught me how to be more flexible. Period.