Sweet Summer

Although I'm sad to see her go, I can more easily say "good-bye" to Sweet Summer because it was a great one. Replete with rooftop parties, outdoor dining in the meatpacking district, walks on the Highline, a sweet helicopter ride around NYC and one kick-ass hot air balloon ride in NJ, play dates in Central Park and at t Pier 6, and trips out of the state and country, this was THE summer to remember. See for yourself.

Columbia University Class of 2006 Five Year Reunion:

Ladies Night and Girls Day Out:

Sunsets and play dates:

Central Park:

Pier 6:

Helicopter hot air balloon ride:

Governor's Island and Yankee Stadium:

Miami with the gals:

Style School:

And several islands on a Carnival Cruise:

Barbados:

St. Lucia:

St. Kitts:

St. Thomas:

Puerto Rico:

Yeah... it was a great one.

Fin.

Honoring [Laboring] Mothers [On Labor Day]

I was over on MyBrownBaby this weekend, when I came across a post wishing a Happy Labor Day to the  hardest laborers of them all -- Moms.

Reading that post, brought me back to a post that I'd written a few months back honoring Mothers. I often hear the words, "I don't know how you do it, Alicia." But truth be told, I don't know how all Mothers do it. The task, at times, seems impossible. And yet, Mothers complete it as diva multi-taskers. Amazingly. Humbly. Gracefully.

So, on this Labor Day, this post is dedicated to you. I hope you know how much you are appreciated and that your labor is not in vain.


This Goes Out To You (originally published on November 27, 2010)

This has been a very trying week and I'm so glad it's over! Whew! *wipes forehead*

I was so sick -- fever, dizzy spells, cough, sore throat, that overall and awful feeling of aches and pains. It was brutal. I finally began feeling a little better on Thanksgiving, and today I feel almost 100% better. Being sick sucks. Being a single mom who's sick... sucks big time.

Being sick this week brought me back to a couple weeks ago -- smack in the middle of October -- when I was overworked, overwhelmed, and over-exhausted with school, work, motherhood, everything.

I usually try to do everything that I do gracefully, and this time was no exception. But trying to get through 5 classes of midterms and papers and an MA project oh my! -- all while trying to stay safe and sane as a single mom and help my Aiden make sense of his world was hectic. And not at all easy.

At one point during the madness, I felt like I was going to have a breakdown. I was so totally and completely tired. It's insane what sleep deprivation can do to ya! At that point, I was not functioning as my best self. At all. I looked like crap, felt like crap, and needed sleep. Period.

But thankfully, I finished all the papers and presentations, and took all of the midterms. When it was all over, I was finally able to get some sleep and wowza! It's incredible what a full night's sleep can do for ya!

It amazes me at how mothers do all that they do. And so gracefully and seemingly effortlessly.

So this post goes out to you.

To stay-at-home moms: I commend you for being with your children all day and not go insane. You rock!

To working moms: I applaud you for giving your all at work, somehow re-fueling on the way home, and then giving your all yet again. You rock!

To young moms: I'm so impressed that you can take care of someone else while still trying to grow and figure out who you are. You rock!

To single moms: I admire that you can raise kids without having anyone to pass them off to when the going gets rough, yet still be able to keep your sanity. You rock!

The bottom line? Moms rock.

With all its super-human requirements, at times it seems as though motherhood is not a job for mere mortals. And yet, you've somehow figured out how to get the job done. Gracefully. And lovingly.

Happy Labor Day Mommies! As Denene Millner says, "Labor aint for wimps... And every mother knows, too, that the real labor comes not in becoming a mom, but being one."

The Break-Up: One Year Later

Well folks, we did it. Aiden and I survived one full year post break-up. Actually, we more than just survived. We rocked it! Last month made an entire year since I became a single mom. And instead of announcing it, I pondered on how I not only learned to be a single mom, but also a single gal.

This week, my mind keeps returning to the time when I first learned that I can, in fact, make it on my own. Below is the post, originally published on October 26, 2010. I hope you get as much out of it as I did while re-reading it.

Refilling The Spaces In My House... And Heart

It all started with the boots. The fabulous, flat, over-the-knee boots that I found (on sale!) at David Z. And I just had to have 'em... along with a few other items that I love!


When I got home that day, I didn't have any space in my closet to put my new love (ie: the boots) because my closet was a hot mess.


I'd broken up the ex about a month-and-a-half earlier and became a single mom. I was in the process of cleaning out the huge, walk-in closet that I shared with Aiden, and transferring Aiden's clothes into the closet that his dad once used. But I never quite finished the job. It was only half done and my/Aiden's closet was one huge mess.


I didn't want to just throw the boots down in the closet because, well, that's no way to treat my new boots.


So I cleaned out my closet.


Then I cleaned out Aiden's new closet/ his dad's old closet.


But then my bedroom needed to be cleaned (to go with my clean closet and all). So... I cleaned my bedroom. And bought a brand new comforter set. Love it!


Soon it was time to tackle the rest of my cozy apartment.


I painted the kitchen a brand new color that pops and adds just the right amount of flavor, and purchased new floor mats, table mats, and curtains to compliment the new color. Nice!


I shampooed the living room carpet and bought new toss pillows for the sofa, along with updated wall art... all by my lonesome. POW!


But in the corner of the living room, where my ex's stereo system used to be, was a huge EMPTY space.


And on the entertainment stand where the 46" television once was stood was another huge EMPTY space.


For a month-and-a-half, I'd done nothing with that space. Nothing.


I let it stay that way, which is NOT like me. Trust me on this: my type-A,everything-has-to-be-perfect personality forces me to have things neat and in order in every aspect of my life.


But I guess I was in some sort of a post-break up funk. I guess I really had to let it sink in that it was truly over. I guess I had to feel the loss -- and the huge empty spaces -- mentally, physically, emotionally...


Break-ups suck. Big time. And no matter the circumstances surrounding the breakup (we were totally incompatible), who initiates the breakup (that would be me), or how relieved I am that it ended (believe me, I am), they still suck. 


There's always some sense of loss, some realization that yeah, it's REALLY over. For me, it was not being able to leave Aiden with anyone while I run to the store really quickly, or go down to the laundry room to put a load in, or take a shower, or fill the empty spaces...


The empty closet that once belonged to my ex? Now it belongs to Aiden.


The empty space in the corner of the living room where his stereo system once stood? Aiden's second bookcase and animal farm now occupies that space.


The empty space on top of the entertainment stand where the television once stood is now occupied by the new television that I purchased. Can you believe Aiden and I went an entire MONTH without watching tv?!Whew! Glad THAT'S over! I need my Law and Order SVU... and Sex and the City... and Grey's Anatomy...


The empty space in my daily schedule? Thankfully, I started going back to the gym 3-4 times a week after a month long hiatus. And I started reallytalking to and spending time with friends. And living life, instead of going through the motions of everyday mundane living.


The empty space in my heart... where I thought I had to overcompensate for the sense loss that I felt and be this perfect mother to Aiden. That was leading me straight downhill so I'm glad that's over too. Now I strive to be the good enough mother.


That makes me happy and Aiden happy as well.


Little by little, room by room, I began refilling the spaces in my house. And my heart. And now that that's happening, I can't even remember what was there before.


Funny the way life works...

24 Hours Is All You Need

By Whitney Jones

Time management is one of the most misunderstood phrases among people. What should be a set of tools has become a buzzword devoid of meaning. Often we spend our time doing things that keep us from being productive at all (like my addiction to Angry Birds). We always say things like, “just one more minute” when what we really mean is one more hour. Managing time is more complicated than finding more time. It means discipline in how you spend it and deciding what you want to accomplish.

It will be imperative that you decide why you want to manage your time first. Having a goal in mind can really help you stay on task. Are you pursuing your degree and need to read more text books? Or maybe you just want to spend more time with your family? It’s always good to form a goal to keep in mind when deciding a time management regimen.

Next you’ll need to reevaluate your day-to-day tasks. What does a normal day look like for you? Often we find that there are a lot of things that get in the way. For instance, maybe at work the internet connection is slow. During this time do you sit and wait or do you do something productive? During these “unscheduled breaks” a lot of time can be lost. Instead, take this time to reflect on the tasks that you want to get done that day. Keep a notebook in your purse to jot down notes. One of my favorite apps to use is Schedule Planner, which allows me to enter in my tasks and then I check it as obsessively as my son checks Facebook.

Another tip I can give to you about task creating, is do it right before bed. Take some time to think about the next day and what you would like to get done. I prefer this because I often feel rushed and overwhelmed in the morning. Having my task list already made makes it a little easier for me to focus.  It may even help soothe your thoughts about the upcoming day – making it easier for you to fall asleep.

                                           

Be sure to keep a calendar or dry-erase board near the front door so you can check for daily events. It will be like an extra reminder of what the day entails. If your husband has a late business meeting to attend or if you need to take the kids to the dentist, viewing the calendar before you leave for work or school can be a big help.

Another avenue you may try is ordering your groceries online. This may seem weird, but if you don’t necessarily enjoy long lines in the super market, you may want to give this a try. Alice.com is a service that delivers non-perishable groceries to your door. Community Supported Agriculture systems will deliver a basket or box of fresh foods from local farms. They’re a great way to avoid having to spend even more time at the grocery and most will take recurring orders and deliver on a set schedule.

Be sure to organize your filing systems, this includes your filing cabinet and computer. If you’re busy with classes or other odds and ends, you’ll want to designate folders, either virtual or real, that can keep all your information straight. Keep car maintenance receipts, account balance information (bills or otherwise) and other important papers organized so you can find them later. It may seem like an overwhelming job but once it’s all organized, you’ll be able to find your information so much easier.

Managing your time is so much easier when you focus on the time you do have instead of focusing on trying to create more time in your day. If you can reevaluate how you spend your time and set goals for yourself on what you want to accomplish, you’ll be able to use your time more wisely.

Whitney Jones can be found blogging her heart out over on The Professional Intern. Loved her tips? Then show some love and check her out!

I Made It!

By Kanesha Morrison

Now that these summer classes are over I can breathe. I wanted this summer to go so well for me, but life had other plans for me. I thought I was making my life easier  when I hired a sitter. Well she quit, 3 weeks before my summer classes ended. On top of having 2, 6 weeks summer courses, my husband and I signed up for a 10 week commitment to do a program called Family Expections. They give you money for coming every week, and they paid for childcare for our oldest son so I couldn't complain.

I didn't have a back up plan when my sitter quit. We live in Oklahoma and our family lives in Mississippi. I didn't have a back up person I could call to come keep him. I felt stuck. I couldn't complain to my husband, because there really wasn't a point. He had to work. I cried. Many of nights oh and days. I screamed. I was upset and I felt overwhelmed. I asked a what I thought was a close friend to keep him during the 3 days I needed help. She agreed. One week before final she quits, and we are no longer friends. Well great I just went from having 2 people in my support group (hubby and her) to one person.

I had to come to my senses. I realize if I had not gone through the storm I would not be able to taste such victory. I want my education. I need my education. I still have 2 years left in undergrad and 3 years for my masters. I will get to where I want to be in life, one class at time. Having to go through these hard times have made me think long-term. Shoot I'm thinking Ph. D now. I want my kids to know that I love them and they give me the PUSH I need to complete each course. I never would have dreamed I would be a young mommy. But I am. And I am proud.

Don't let anyone tell you your child(ren) will keep you from living your dreams. No one can live your life like you can. Your children didn't stop you from living your life, they just showed you a new way to live. You may feel like you need a break and that's okay. You are not the first young mommy, and mostly likely won't be the last. Embrace it. Love it. Remember you have SO many cheerleaders in your corner from your friends and family, to be the people write and read these blogs everyday. People like Alicia and myself blog to be blessings to you. To empower you. The fall semester is about to happen. Am I ready? No. But I am going to take the bull by the horns and get this party started! You have already done the most difficult thing you could ever do. Parent. Children don't come with handbooks. At least your college classes come with books and a syllabus. You got this!

Kanesha Morrison lives in Oklahoma with her husband and one-year-old son. She loves to speak on parenting, marriage, school, but most of all MONEY. She is a full-time stay at home mom, who blogs about her journey through life. Check her out at Money Matters Mama or find her on Twitter @TheMoneyMama.