Thursday, July 17, 2014

No Apologies

This year, I'm learning more and more to work on doing the damn thing… with no apologies. Particularly at work and at this single mom thing. 

During summer months, work starts at 8:00 AM for me. Aiden's camp doesn't start until 9:00 AM, but I signed him up for the early drop-off (and late pick-up) program for a not so small fee. So I told my boss that I won't be able to come into work until at least 8:30 AM every day because I need to take my baby to camp.

I said it with no apologies.

Because I work hard and smart and I do my job well. I lead my school well and I lead my teachers well and my work doesn't suffer when and if I need to get to work a few minutes later for one reason or the next. I don't say this to toot my own horn, but I'm becoming more and more aware of what I bring to the table, of my strengths and talents. And I'm becoming more and more okay with the things that I physically cannot do because I am a single mother with a limited budget for nannies or sitters.

And I won't apologize for that. 

I'm ambitious and focused on achieving my career goals. Sometimes to a fault. When I was in grad school, I took Aiden to class with me. After grad school, when I needed to, I took him to work with me. (At times, I still do.) Now that I work long hours, he goes to school for early drop-off and stays at school for afternoon activities. Sometimes I need to get work done at home and sometimes that means that I'm unavailable to play with him as much as he'd like. Sometimes folks tell me that I'm doing too much and that his days are too long as a result of my doing too much. 

But I won't apologize for that. 

I won't apologize for being ambitious. I won't apologize for setting career goals and being aggressive in my pursuit of them.

Because I carve out meaningful time to spend with Aiden. We're always exploring New York City and attending some cool, kid-friendly event that he loves. Heck, just this month we've visited too many places to even count. We read together everyday, we study and work together so that his "brain keeps growing," as he puts it. He participates in extracurricular activities that he really enjoys, and when we can, we travel. Together. By no means am I saying that I have it all figured out as a single mother, but I'm learning to have some type of balance — to show Aiden that I can value my career and still be a present mother. 

And I won't apologize for that. 

It took me a while to get here. But I'm so glad that I'm at the place where I know what I'm worth, where I know what I'm capable of, and where I know what I can bring to the table. And I know what I physically cannot bring to the table at any given time. 

It doesn't make me less of an employee or a bad mother. It makes me human. 

And I won't stress out about that. 

And I definitely won't apologize for it. 


  1. Bravo! That's a huge lesson that takes some of us far too long to learn.

  2. I've been at this for 15 years. I'm so grateful for my support system! It has only been recently that u arrived at the same conclusion and dang it if I'm going to back down and apologize for being my best self. Nope, thankful God has allowed me to grow on this journey to do exactly what you are doing encouraging another single mom. Continue to embrace the journey!

  3. This is absolutely everything to me! I've recently stopped apologizing for a lot of things. I didn't even realize I was doing it until I watched that Dove video and paid closer attention to myself. And like you, when I realized how valuable I was, I stopped apologizing and I vowed that I'd never do it again.

    This was an awesome post! Keep pushing!


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