Wednesday, November 2, 2011

On Learning to Truly Be Yourself

A couple weeks ago, I was over on my pal’s blog, I Met At Eve. She posted a quote that really caught my attention and made me reflect. “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken,” is what the Oscar Wilde quote read. No sooner than I shared it on the Mommy Delicious Facebook and Twitter page had it regurgitated “likes” and retweets.

I guess it hit home for other people too. 

I guess it's easier to be uniquely YOU when other people are encouraging. And accepting.

I remember being an adolescent and trying to “find myself” while trying to “fit in” with friends. (I would never want to go back to that time, by the way.) At some point, I realized that trying to "find myself" and trying to "fit in" could not happen simultaneously. Something had to give. I couldn't be the studious girl who heads organizations and clubs and the one who goes to the dopest parties. (Not yet, anyhow.) Once I accepted who I really was, I found friends and groups of people to spend time with that were, well, like me. Birds of a feather flock together, is what they say.

Needless to say, adolescence was not easy.

Who would have thought that being an adult wouldn’t prove to be any easier. In fact, it seems even more difficult at times. Sometimes it’s hard to stay true to yourself when the world wants you to bend and stretch in so many different directions. 

Even with blogging – “Be this person to sell this product,” or “say these things to promote this site.” Eek! Don’t get me wrong, I promote brands and products that I already use and really like. 93.8% of the time. The other 6.2%, I do it out of guilt. But, no more. My time is extremely valuable and from now on, I’m only promoting a brand or product if (1) I already use it and I’m getting compensated for it, (2) I tried it out and love it and plan to use it going forward and I’m getting compensated for it, or (3) It’s way too good to pass up for both you and me… and I’m getting compensated for it. (Notice a trend here with the compensation… a single mother’s gotta do what a single mother’s gotta do!) I write this publicly so that you can hold me accountable for it. Because, at the end of the day, I’d rather connect with you – people – than brands. 

But I digress. Sort of.

I have many different moods and more often than not, my posts reflect them. Sometimes I’m witty. Sometimes I’m strong. Sometimes I’m reflective. Sometimes I’m wise (sometimes). But I’m always, always passionate. And my posts are always heartfelt. And I hope that one of the reasons you keep coming back is because you're getting that from each post. (Thank you.)   

I’m still trying to find myself and find my voice, and I don’t pretend that I’m not. But I often look inside myself and make sure that what I’m sharing and the energy that I’m exuding is purely... me. Entirely. Completely. I don’t pretend to be something that I’m not because, honestly, I think it’ll get me nowhere. I share my truths and my stories because that’s what I know. And that’s how I pay it forward.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss.

Thanks for the words of wisdom, Dr. Seuss. Truer words have never been spoken.

How do you stay true to yourself? 


  1. I love your posts. I can feel the passion when you write. We all keep coming back because we feel that we know you!

  2. It hasn't always been easy, but I think I am at a place now where I have no problem asking for what I want or need. I used to shy away from these things wondering how others would see me or what they might think.

    At this point in my life I have kind of figured myself out and I have to stay true to all costs.

    Great post!

  3. Girl! We are on the same page. I posted that same Oscar Wilde post on FB about a week ago and it was well "liked". At the end of the day - nobody can do you better than you.

  4. I love that quote. People always say things like they are jealous of someone or trying to be like someone, I always say - don't be them be you! It is a better fit and what God intended. It is hard not to be pressured by this others and it is ok to be inspired without giving up who you are

  5. I stay true to myself by staying honest and holding myself to higher standard. I've learned over the years that these two things will help you to weed out the people who matter from those that don't. Kudos to you for choosing the people over the brands because at the end of the day once the brands are gone your loyal readers will still be here.

  6. LOVE this post.
    My blog is an extension of my life (although all about fashion) I try to bring the same integrity honesty and passion that I bring to my everyday life.
    You can easily get off track...endorsing brands that are crap just because they offer you money...etc...
    Like you- if you ahve seen me recommend it or feature it..I own it, wear it, want to own, have tried it on and can assure you of it's quality etc.
    Stick to it you said..the brands will come and go..but the readers/friends remain:)

  7. I wish you had a 'I heart this' button on your blog.

    It's a struggle for me too. But that is just a reflection of real life in my opinion. Finding your authentic voice, staying true to yourself at all times. Some folks do it for the money/readers and others do it for themselves and some a combination of both. At the end of the day you have to be content.

  8. I think our readers can sense when we're being authentic, versus when we're being "something that we're not." And people connect with that realness. I'm pretty sure that's why your readers love you - your authenticity rings so true in every blog post that you write.

    AMEN!!!! @ requiring compensation. Good for you, girl!

  9. Dr. Seuss was a very wise man indeed! I think you are very true to yourself and that is the reason why we all keep coming back for more! Even when your posts are promoting products/ brands your fun-loving personality is still there and that's what I love about mommy Delicious.

    I learned a long time ago that there is no pleasing everyone. However, I know what makes ME happy so I just stick to that! And you know what...that usually works out very well!

  10. This was a great post and i LOVE the Oscar Wilde true..glad you are finding your place lady...

  11. Coincidentally I published a post about... well... self-confidence, being me, and the people in my life. I suppose I'm not quite sure who I am. Yet. Or how to be who I am. So I'm thinking there's going to be a follow-up post to that one.

    Anyway, this was a great post. Thanks for the inspiration.

  12. I love this post!! Everything you said is so true. It took me a long time to accept myself fully but when we finally do that, suddenly everyone loves us because we are...well, ourselves!

  13. You write so beautifully about important things! You THINK so beautifully about important things!

  14. I love both of the quotes and i especially like reading your blog post. Authenticity is a precious quality that few people manage to maintain. You have. Keep it up, that's why I love visiting you.

  15. I'm pushing 30 years old, and I'm still learning stuff about myself every day. I have a "continuous improvement" personality, so I'm always trying to be better than I was yesterday. My journey may be never-ending, but I'm okay with that.

  16. One thing I learned a looonnng time ago is to be who GOD made me and not try to duplicate someone else. Once I begin doing that I found that I was celebrated in ways I never imagined. I still have a lot more to learn about myself but I'm certainly not waking up each day trying to see who I can be like because I've always wanted to stand out.


I love reading what you have to say!


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