Friday, July 8, 2011

The Discipline Weekly: Pick Your Battles

I looked over at Aiden the other day and thought to myself, "whoa... this kid is almost half my size!" I'd been so busy concentrating on getting through different developmental stages that I almost forgot to take the time out to notice his growth.

Truth is, kids grow ultra fast and I'm noticing that many "trying" times occur around growth spurts. A few weeks ago, I mentioned that Aiden was like Jekyll and Hyde -- one minute he was super sweet, the next, not so much. Turns out, the tantrums, sweet kisses, crankiness, darling hugs, obnoxiousness, cooperation, and defiance were in part due to Aiden going through a growth spurt.

Aiden and I pictured with our good friend, A, on a July 4th play date!
He's almost half my size already... amaze!
And as I not-so-quickly learned, sometimes the only thing I could do during such a time is be ultra patience and pick my battles. It's quite simple, but took me a while to "get it." But once I did, I avoided all of the threatening and annoyance and huffing and puffing when I picked my battles carefully.

Case in point:

A few weeks ago, Aiden wanted to wear his rain boats outside. It was super warm and sunny and there was no rain in the forecast. We were running late and needed to get out of the house at that moment. So... I let the kid where his rain boats. No harm, right?

A few blocks outdoors, we endured a few funny stares from onlookers (childless onlookers, of course). But the great moment happened when Aiden stated that his feet were hot. Ummm.... duh!

When I asked him what we should do about it, he suggested changing into his Crocs. Luckily, I brought them along with us.

It was a win-win for the both of us.

Be patient, especially during growth spurts.

And pick your battles very carefully. Sometimes it's not worth the fuss.


  1. So not worth the fuss sometimes. I def have learned the hard way to choose my battles. And what is interesting, is my daughter has picked up on it, and has now changed her behavior. If I brush something off, she will usually pick up on it and then act accordingly. She knows. kids are too friggen smart, I tell ya!

  2. So true! We are going through a horrible tantrum stage now and it is driving me crazy! I've learned to give in on the things that just aren't worth the fight.

  3. Ahh, don't you just love growth spurts and all that comes with it? I also have to remember to choose my battles...I fight with them and they will most certainly fight with me.

  4. Great post and I totally agree. I had to learn that it's ok to use reasoning and come to an agreement with your children. That way, both of us are satisfied.

  5. Picking and choosing your battles is definitely the best way to go with these preschoolers. I love that you didnt fight Aiden on the boots thing, and the lesson he eventually learned from the experience!

  6. Ahhh! absolutely, pick your battles. I am so guilty of having a heart attack about the silliest things my boyz do, so now I am trying hard to just relax and let the little things roll off my back...thx for the reminder!

  7. I am learning to pick my battles with Moo. She's getting older and having more of an opinion about things like her wardrobe and how she wants her hair. It's hard letting her make decisions and learn lessons on her own but honestly even at her age she needs to make mistakes.

  8. I totally agree with you! Some things kids just have to learn for themselves (or learn hard way). I just prepare for the moment she realizes I what I was telling her was right and for her own good. So much better than a power struggle!


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