Friday, June 24, 2011

The Discipline Weekly: Reasons for Misbehavior

A few weeks ago, Aiden's head teacher approached me with not-so-good news -- she'd been having a tough couple of days with him and he was not following many of her directions. I carefully listened to her, but was a little embarrassed, if I can admit.

Now here's the geek in me: that night I went home and brain-stormed ideas to help Aiden's teacher help him. I didn't want to be that Mom who does nothing when her child's teacher gives a less than great report. But, I also didn't want to be that Mom who scolds her kid and sides with the teacher. I wanted to help them both.

As I pondered some of the reasons for Aiden's misbehavior, I realized that they usually stem around several things:

Wanting/Needing More Attention
I find that when I give Aiden attention and/or respond to his requests within the first couple of times he calls out to me, I usually get more of a positive response from him. And less whining. Gosh, I hate whining! But I digress.

Wanting More Power
Giving Aiden two choices usually works better than giving him no choices. It makes him feel included and meaningful and all that jazz. And great things happen when he feels included and meaningful and all that jazz.

Feelings of Inadequacy
Just like his mama, Aiden is a little perfectionist. He likes to succeed at things within his first few attempts at it. And boy does he have a hard time controlling his frustrations when he feels as though he is not "getting it" fast enough. I usually try to catch his frustrating feelings before it escalates into him screaming out of control because that's no fun for the both of us.

Thankfully, as I consulted with his teacher the next day and filled her in on my newfound wisdom, she nodded and stated that the tips would not only help her with Aiden, but also with the other students in the class.

That's the thing about parenting -- no matter what age you become a Mother, married or single or somewhere in-between, you become your child's advocate and biggest freakin' cheerleader. Comes with the territory, I guess...

Can you think of any other reasons for misbehavior? Share them below in the comments!

**We've been nominated! Please take the time to vote for Mommy Delicious -- TOP 25 NYC MOM BLOGGERS -- via Circle of Moms. You can vote ONCE PER DAY. I know, I know... self-pimping at its finest.**


  1. These are really great reasons for misbehaving - I actually think you summer them up. I cant think of anything to add now, but i'll come back if i do.

    Btw, love your collaborative relationship with the teacher... and I'm sure she appreciated your help as well. You could easily have gotten defensive/snarky with her, which wouldnt have helped the situation at all.

  2. You are one thoughtful Mama! All of these are so true for Sebastian as well. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending the way you look at it, we're not in school.


  3. I love that you did this - took something that could be perhaps interpreted as a negative, and turned it into a positive. I'm going to remember this next year when Peanut's in school.

  4. Love these tips.. My son does the same thing. when he needs attention or he's tired he seems to act a fool.

    I hate getting bad reports from the teacher.. its like a awake call.. your kid is not perfect lol.

    Thank you for sharing. and I voted for you.. good luck!

  5. Good ideas/tips. Could it be that Aiden is getting bored with class and maybe needs advancement? I know a lot of kids start to act out when they feel the information is boring and want to be challenged more. Is he at a growth spurt?

  6. Don't feel embarrassed. As a teacher, sometimes children go through different things that parents aren't aware. Ive had students act one way at home and another way in school. Just moniter his behavior and stay in close contact with the teacher.

  7. Nolan misbehaves if we spend too many days at home. If we get out of the house every day, even for a little bit, it definitely helps keep the smile on his face!

  8. Awesome! I'm so glad you were able to find an effective way for his teacher to not only reach your son but all the students! Excellent.


  9. @The Cookin' Mom: I swear, during those growths spurts, he becomes a different person. Seriously.

  10. As an educator I loved your approach to help them both. I usually speak to KT about the discussion I the teacher and I shared. I leave out some parts if needed but I ask him for his side, ask him if he sees any flaws in what took place and ask him how we can correct it. Often times I allow him to set up a contract with the teacher to ensure they move forward. This also allows me to maintain a hostile free relationship with my colleagues. On the other hand, I've had to address some issues and it backed fired and he was punished.


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