Since venturing into my role as a single mother, I must admit that it's been no easy task. But I knew that already. I knew that it would be hard before I decided to become a single mother, which is one thing that kept me for so long from plunging into this new role.
However, one thing that I didn't know is just how much I would struggle with the thought of being a single mother and parenting my baby Aiden, well, solo. I didn't know how much I would feel as though Aiden was being deprived by not having two parents who live together. I didn't know that I would feel this overwhelming sense to overcompensate for the, eh, absent parent. I didn't know that I would constantly ask myself the question, am I really enough?
But here I am -- a single mother. And what's done is done, so I cannot do anything about that.
But what I can do is really remember that, as a single mother, I'm a mother first. I just happen to be single.
And instead of focusing on the "single" part of it -- Will Aiden be deprived of love? Will he suffer tremendously? -- I decided to focus on the "mother" part of it. For instance, I love the fact that each and every day I have the chance to help Aiden grow into a capable and competent adult. I love the fact that each and every day he has the chance to really contribute to our new family structure, be it cleaning up his toys or "helping" me with dinner. I love the fact that it'll help him develop his own sense of self-worth and self-esteem.
I mean, it's called "single mom" and not "double mom" for a reason, right? I refuse to believe anything other than I am enough. One, single, capable, compassionate, loving parent can most definitely be enough to help a child grow into a competent, capable, and socially conscious adult. Plus, it's gotta be better for Aiden to live in a happy and peaceful home instead of a not-so-happy and slightly dysfunctional one.
So... when his dad doesn't show up to important events, I have to believe that I am enough.
When I am beyond exhausted and stressed out, I'm still enough. Just a lil tired.
When I have no one else to pass him off to, yes, I'm enough.
I may not know how to throw a football or enjoy all of the rough-and-tumble play that Aiden loves all the time, but like I said before, and I'll happily say it again, having one, single, capable, compassionate, loving mother does more good to Aiden than living in a not-so-happy and slightly dysfunctional two-parent household. Point blank. Period.
So yea... I. Am. Enough.