The Tough Part Of Being A Single Mom

Last week I took Aiden to the happiest place on Earth -- good 'ol Walt Disney World. If you're apart of the Mommy Delicious community on Facebook or keep up with the deliciousness on Twitter, then you may already know this. If you're not, then go get you some of that! Pronto.

Throughout the week, I tweeted and posted about some of our favorite adventures -- Epcot, Animal Kingdom, Magic Kingdom, Cirque du Soleil at Downtown Disney, the resorts' hot tub, and ferry rides galore. We had an amazing time.

But getting through five days in Disney World with a toddler wasn't easy. At all. Like when he was sleepy at Animal Kingdom and in the middle of his tantrum, kept taking off his shoes and throwing them. Until I finally got the hint and took them away from him.

Or when he came thisclose to peeing on himself after I JUST took him to the bathroom and thought he got it all out. Apparently he did not.

Or when we were at the resorts' bus stop, ready to board and head off to Epcot, and he insisted that he was cold. So we got off the line to go back to our room for his sweater. It was not fun waiting for the next bus to come.

But this scenario is the worst. I'd just ordered our lunch at Animal Kingdom. I was hot. And tired. Aiden was also hot and tired. As I carried our lunch on a heavy tray from one end of the outdoor restaurant all the way to the other end of the restaurant, I kept looking for a table for us to sit and looking down to make sure Aiden was walking next to me. Multi-tasking at it's finest. When we got to the other end of the restaurant, I watched as Aiden attempted to pick up his hot dog and DROPPED it, by accident of course. I think I let out a huge sigh at that point as I tried to release my obvious frustration.

I don't say this to put a damper on our trip. We had a fantastic time. But like I said, it was not easy. At all. I learned to put on my big girl pants and single mom shoes and work it. Big time. I learned to think fast, plan strategically, and have several jokes on hand to make the kid laugh.

Some people thought I was nuts for taking Aiden to Disney World. Truth is, I could have given him a picture of Buzz Lightyear, who is one of his favorite Disney characters, or popped in his Toy Story DVD and he may have been just as delighted.

But I want my kid to have as many experiences as possible, even if he grows up in a single parent household.

It's just us two and it's up to me to ensure that come heck or high water, Aiden's life will be lovely. His life already is lovely. Because I'm his Mother. And I make sure of that. And I'll continue to make sure of that.

You better believe it.

Smooches,

Guest Post: Dealing With Debt

Today we have another guest post from Suzanne Cramer, certified credit counselor. She's kicking knowledge about ways to effectively deal with debt. Love! Enjoy delicious folks!


There comes a time in many of our lives where we realize we are in over our heads, financially speaking. Maybe it was due to divorce or the end of a relationship leaving us single parents--with more money going out than coming in. We come to the conclusion we need to do something about our debt, but what?


There are several options when it comes to debt relief and one of them is right for you, your situation, and your family. Making the decision to tackle your debt head on is never easy, but you do have options. Let’s take a look…

·      Do-It-Yourself with Debt Payment Pro. Debt Payment Pro is a FREE tool that can help you pay down your debt. Enter simple information about your debts. Based on your debts Debt Payment Pro will calculate your possible savings. Then follow your personalized repayment schedule to pay off your debt more quickly and save on interest. It can become easy to send just the minimums and not reallocate payments to other creditors. This approach will require discipline and close attention to your payments.

·      Debt Management Plan. Debt Management Plans, which are often called DMPs, are plans that allow debt relief providers to work directly with creditors to secure benefits. These benefits, which vary by creditor, typically include reduced interest rates, lower monthly payments, and waived fees such as late fees and over the limit fees.

·      Debt Settlement Plan. Debt Settlement is an attractive alternative to bankruptcy for those who want to pay back at least a portion of their debt, but cannot afford the Debt Management Plan payment, and have stopped paying their unsecured creditors. With Debt Settlement, you make monthly deposits to a Settlement deposit account in an amount you can afford. You do not make monthly payments to your creditors, and your provider works to negotiate with your creditors for a less-than-full repayment. When settlements are reached with creditors, settlement payments are paid from the Settlement deposit account. There are definitely pros and cons to using Debt Settlement to pay off your debt.

·      Bankruptcy. If your financial situation leaves you unable to pay back even a portion of your debt, you may want to explore whether a bankruptcy makes sense for you. We will review your situation and if bankruptcy appears to be appropriate, we will connect you with a national law firm to help walk you through your bankruptcy options.

Still not sure or need help deciding? Please feel free to contact us to speak with a Certified Credit Counselor who can help.


Suzanne is a certified credit counselor and a Social Media Specialist for CareOne. Suzanne writes for Divorce, Debt and Finances and A Straight Talk on Debt blogs. Follow Suzanne on Twitter where she shares the latest debt industry news and tips to keep your finances in check with her ADivorcedMom and AskCareOne accounts.

Single Moms Learn To Save Money

I'm on vacation this week. That's right, this Single Momma is spending some quality time with her son in good ol' Disney World. Best place on Earth, baby. But I couldn't just leave ya'll hanging. So here's a guest post from Suzanne Cramer, a single Mom and certified credit counselor who's teaching all of us a thing or two about saving money. Enjoy!

Being a single mom is tough. I speak from experience; my son’s father and I divorced when he was two years old, I remarried when he was six and I am currently going through my second divorce a year later. So I have been a single mom for the majority of his life. No one can express how extremely difficult it is to raise a child on your own, let alone manage your finances, or heaven forbid save money for your future.


Let’s look at the reality of it all:

·      The days are long

·      There are never enough hours in them

·      You sometimes have to play the role of mom and dad

·      You struggle to pay all the bills

·      The extra cash to “spoil” yourself never seems to be there

·      Kids are expensive

·      Saving money seems impossible!

As I face the realities of being a single mom one thought is always in the back of my mind, “I want the best for my son, and part of that is saving for his future.” Saving money for anything is extremely difficult for a variety of reasons.

·      I don’t have a lot of money left over after paying all my bills.

·      I want to remain debt free (with the exception of my mortgage and car loan)

·      I want to give him the childhood I had; the ability to participate in extra-curricular activities, experiences like amusement parks, vacations, and magical Christmas mornings.

Along the way I have learned some tricks of the trade to save money on a daily basis, leaving a few extra dollars to sock away at the end of the month. Take a look and see if they will work for you, and give them a try they just might work for you too!

Saving money you never knew you had

1. Take a hard look at where your money goes (Budget)
2. Find clever ways to live on less


Number one is easy; take the time to develop a realistic budget. Knowing what you have coming in and what is going out each month will give you the information you need to make some changes.


To help you get started try the budget worksheet below:
Budget Planner


Number two requires a little bit more thought, but you would be surprised just how much you can save by making a few small changes. Here are a few ways I have found to make budget cuts and save those “extra” dollars without sacrificing too much.

Budget Cuts

·      Buy used…new is overrated. My son grows out of clothes and gets bored with toys more quickly than I can bat an eyelash. To keep up I accept ALL hand-me-downs even if it is not something I would typically buy. I shop for clothes and shoes a season or two ahead when everything is on major clearance. Consignment shops are great; you can “sell” gently worn items to them for cash or credit in the store, giving you the ability to “shop” for clothes you pick.

·      Become a frugalista. Use coupons at the grocery store, shop with a list, and visit coupon sites like Retail-me-Not for non-food purchases you must make.

·      Cut out the non-essentials. Latté’s, manicures, and weekly trips to the movie theater are surefire budget busters. Instead paint your own nails (or have a friend do it for you), brew your own great coffee, and have movie night at home with Redbox, microwave popcorn, and homemade snacks.

·      Don’t pay unnecessary fees. constantly overdrawing your checking account or missing credit card payments lead to fees; this is like tossing money right out the window. Keep a careful eye on your account balance and utilize payment reminders so you never pay late fees.

Saving the “extra” dollars

·      Save it before you miss it. Make saving “automatic“. The less effort you have to put forward or remember the easier it will be to save. Instead of consciously deciding to save money each month, set up automatic deposits into your savings account. Ask your bank to establish an automatic transfer from your checking account to your savings account. Or sign up for an online savings account like ING or Smartypig.

·      Contribute to your company’s 401K. Most companies offer a match-“free” money. You can’t afford not to contribute even if it’s just a small percentage. Retirement may seem far off now but not being prepared will make your golden years extremely difficult.

·      Get a piggybank. These are not just for kids! Save your spare change or dollar bills; then once a month deposit the “extra” cash in your savings account.

·      Save your windfalls. Single moms often receive a ton of tax breaks and as a result receive sizeable tax refunds. Unless you have an emergency or a ton of credit card debt to pay off--save it! Money gifts or overpayment checks are unexpected surprises use them to pad your savings.

·      Give your savings a “raise“. If you are up for a raise consider giving the boost to your savings. Have that amount direct deposited to your savings; you won’t miss it and you can live on your previous salary.

No one said single parenting was going to be easy and saving money for you and your children’s future will definitely be challenging, but you can do this, I promise!


What are your saving “tricks”? 

Suzanne is a certified credit counselor working and a Social Media Specialist for CareOne. Suzanne writes for Divorce, Debt and Finances and A Straight Talk on Debt blogs.  Follow Suzanne on Twitter where she shares the latest debt industry news and tips to keep your finances in check with her @ADivorcedMom and @AskCareOne accounts.

This Co-Parenting Thing...

I've written about the stresses of this co-parenting thing before -- over on The Young Mommy Life.

This co-parenting thing? This thing, is not easy.

Not in the least.

I am not even close to being the perfect co-parent. It has been an uphill battle, and one that knocks me down quite frequently.

But I keep striving. And I keep pushing. And when I feel as though I've screwed something up or I'm not cut out to be a co-parent, I try to strive and push even more. Aiden deserves that much.

Read the rest of this post over on MyCare One, where I have been asked to offer my two-sense on this whole single mother thing. Let me know what you think by leaving some comment love -- am I in over my head with co-parenting or am I capable? How do I continue to leave the space in Aiden's life open for his dad? 

All smart opinions welcomed!

Smooches,

The First-Ever Brooklyn Baby Expo

All my Brooklynites and those in the NYC area, man have I got a treat for you! It's epic, ya'll.

I'm super excited to announce A Child Grows in Brooklyn Baby Expo, which will take place Sunday March 13th from 11am -- 4pm at Brooklyn's LEED Building, Toren.

There's something for the entire family -- mini-workshops, demonstrations, shopping, raffles and seminars. Delicious parents can enjoy manicures, blow-outs, and a fab Nursing Lounge, while the kiddies can enjoy Tummy Time, Baby Yoga, a cute new hair cut, and fun and games in the B. Playful room, which will have lots of B. Toys.

Registration is $35.00 and the first 250 families to register will receive a gift bag filled with fab finds (valued over $100.00).

Check out the fliers below and then register at http://www.achildgrows.com/expo/ 

Hope to see you there!

Smooches,

He Gets It From His Momma -- The Love of Reading

Thanks to the makers of Pine-Sol® for sponsoring my writing. A study shows a clean smelling home can help children succeed, so Pine-Sol® is supporting Reading is Fundamental (RIF) this year. Click "Like" on Pine-Sol®’s Facebook page here and they will donate books to RIF!


On any given day, if you were to listen to a conversation between Aiden and me, you'd hear descriptive words such as, "humongous, hilarious, miniature, amazing," to name a few. And these days, you'd hear 'em coming mostly from Aiden.

Cute, right?

What strikes me the most as I reflect on conversations that I've had with my 3-year-old little man, is that these words are apart of his regular vocabulary. They've become commonplace to him. He has grown to use them on a regular basis.

"I apologize" replaces "I'm sorry."

"Humongous, enormous, gigantic" replaces "big."

"Miniature, teeny tiny" replaces "small." 

"Snooze replaces "sleep." (I think this one is kinda weird, but kinda funny too...).

"Angry, upset" replaces "mad."

"Beautiful" replaces "pretty."

You get the point. I could go on and don't mean to brag, but it amazes me that, at 3-years-old, his vocabulary is broad enough that he can switch things up when he wants to use another word. 

And there's only one way to explain how he learned these new words: Reading. 

And not just reading books, but discussing them too. Why does he look so angry? Look how excited she is! What do you think is going to happen next? What was your favorite part? Why? Why do you think that happened? Is there another way to say that? These are just some of the questions I ask him. 

I have always had a passion for reading. I've written about the before. I've always loved the idea of getting so lost and so caught up in a book -- the storyline, the character's lives, the problems, the solutions, the life lessons. I've always loved the fact that there were so many words ready to change some part of me and help me grow in some way... if I only let it. 

And I always aim to instill my love of literacy in Aiden.

I remember once when I took Aiden along with me to visit my Godmother in her classroom. She was a kindergarten teacher at the time, and the kiddies were thrilled have a baby visitor. Aiden was 16 months at the time, and one of the first things we did was head over to the classroom library, grab a book that was bigger than him, and sat on a chair to "read" it. This delicious Momma couldn't have been prouder. Check him out. Isn't he just too cool for school?!

Despite many of the insecurities I felt as a young mommy, I must have been doing something right. And that "something" began way before Aiden was born. For my baby shower, I remember asking each guest to bring a copy of their favorite children's book in addition to something off of my registry. I wanted to get a head start on building Aiden's library, and hey, books can get expensive.

I was so thrilled by the fabulous books we received! Since then, I've requested books for Aiden's birthday and Christmas gifts. So his library collection keeps on growing. Amaze!

This makes it harder for him to choose just two books to read at bedtime. The kid's even gotten me to extend bedtime by a few minutes just so I can read another book to him. I'm a sucker like that. And he knows it. And I wouldn't have it any other way. 

We read together all. the. time. And not just children's books. Magazines, newspapers, random signs on the subway -- they're all fair game. I love it that I can show him how important reading is by modeling to him that I read just because... Merely for pleasure.

But I love it even more when I see him reading, just because... and merely for pleasure. I love to hear him use the same tone, excitement, and verbalization that I used when I originally read the story to him. I love when he compares something in real life to something in a story we read a few days ago. "Mommy, that's like in my book when [insert appropriate scenario here]." 

Moments like these -- when I catch him reading to his puppy -- warms my heart and lets me feel as though I am succeeding as his Mother.

And moments like these -- when he reads to himself -- makes me oh so proud.

He gets it from his Momma! And you gotta love it. 

What are some things you do at home to help your children achieve?

Don't forget to click over to Pine-Sol®'s Facebook page to support our children's success. I was selected for this Pine-Sol® sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

This too Shall Pass

I haven't been a very consistent Blogger this week. I make no apologies for it. Grad school is currently kicking my a$$ and sucking the life out of me. Between this 30-page paper looming over my head, midterms, and a group project on the horizon, I'm a little on the overwhelmed side.

And then there's Motherhood. Sweet Motherhood. Trying to find a good pre-kindergarten for a kid in NYC is like close to impossible. I'm beginning to think that I have to donate an organ or something to get my kid in a good program. Sigh.

But, as always, this too shall pass.

Thanks so much for everyone who kicks it with me on this here place and space on the Internet. You all rock! As eloquent as I'd like to think that I am, right now I don't even have the vocabulary to tell you how much you mean to me. All I can say is "thank you."

Oh yea, and announce the winner of The Logitech Revue. Chosen via random.org, the winner is...

Cheryl E.

Congratulations!

Please provide me with your contact information.

Smooches,