Friday, March 11, 2011

This Co-Parenting Thing...

I've written about the stresses of this co-parenting thing before -- over on The Young Mommy Life.

This co-parenting thing? This thing, is not easy.

Not in the least.

I am not even close to being the perfect co-parent. It has been an uphill battle, and one that knocks me down quite frequently.

But I keep striving. And I keep pushing. And when I feel as though I've screwed something up or I'm not cut out to be a co-parent, I try to strive and push even more. Aiden deserves that much.

Read the rest of this post over on MyCare One, where I have been asked to offer my two-sense on this whole single mother thing. Let me know what you think by leaving some comment love -- am I in over my head with co-parenting or am I capable? How do I continue to leave the space in Aiden's life open for his dad? 

All smart opinions welcomed!

Smooches,

14 comments:

  1. I know it's hard Mama but you are a strong woman and you can do it!

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  2. Hi!

    I didn't want to join CareOne right this moment and I couldn't get the comment feature to work on their site.

    In any event, I just want to encourage you just as I often need encouragement myself. I struggle with this same issue. There are times when I wonder if what I do even qualifies as co-parenting (he can be THAT distant sometimes).

    I would just continue to pray for his father. That's what I do. I pray and provide opportunities for them to see each other. I try to put any of my feelings aside (except where absolutely necessary). Unfortunately, this is one of the times where I know I must accept the things I cannot change....WOOSAH! Great post!

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  3. I'm not in this situation but I can only imagine how hard it must be. I have no answers BUT my life at the moment is proof that prayer can help you out of the stickiest of situations.

    You keep smiling for Aiden and for you! : )

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  4. Miss Alicia I feel the same way about my daughter' father. Him and I have continually argued over whose fault it is that he doesn't spend time with her. For awhile, I did blame myself...until my little girl spent a week in the hospital with not one visit from her daddy. It was then that I realized that I was doing everything I could to make our child available to him. Now, I'm.enjoying our little girl with people who want to be in her life

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  5. Alicia, you are totally capable! I commend you for putting your feelings aside to do what you think it best for your son!

    As you know for many years I tried that co-parenting thing and it was HELL! So one day I just gave up because frankly I just couldn't do it anymore. Was it a selfish move? Probably, because frankly my sanity was at stake and so was my daughter's self-esteem as she often wondered why he never kept his promises to spend time with her.

    Today she is 21 and all I can say is I did what I thought was best for me and my daughter and if he missed out...it was his loss! Continue praying for him one day he may realize how much of this amazing little boy's life he is missing!

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  6. I couldn't comment but I will tell you here, you are so thoughtful and aware, and for that reason, your son is going to have the best of everything. You can't control your ex but you can control yourself and that's the best you can do!

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  7. I can't imagine the comprimise, patience, and strength it would take. The fact that you genuinly want the best for your son will take you far, and help get you through the tough times.

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  8. I'm off to go read your article. But I wanted to leave you this link to an blogger/twitter opportunity with Pier 1:
    http://izea.com/a-pier-1-tweetup-coming-to-your-area/

    Also, a ?: where did you get the facebook/tweet buttons at the end of your post?

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  9. I couldn't leave a comment over at CareOne, so I cam back here. First, I'm not going to even pretend like I know what you are going through. All I can say, is that you continue to pray for you son's father and leave that space open for him to be involved. Maybe one day he will mature enough to step into it.

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  10. CAPABLE! You are a strong and in tough woman and a mother who absolutely loves her son and so with that you can only control you and your actions. You be the BEST mom (single or not) and teach your son what he needs to know from a mother's view and his dad will be so sorry if he doesn't suck it up and get in his son's life before it's too late. Aiden might feel it now but he has an entire life to do all these things right, so it's up to you to raise him to know the difference. I'm praying that Dad will get it together and SOON so they both don't miss any more important moments.

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  11. The comments on this post have exceeded the actual post. Wowsah! Thanks so much for the support.

    @Nikagurl: You are my superhero. I'm amazed by your strength. Wow!


    @Pearl: You and I are right >HERE< with this. You totally summed up all that I was feeling. Thanks for the support. All we can do is leave that space open and pray, right?

    WOOSAH... love it!

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  12. I can't relate since I dont have children but I have a good friend who is divorced and co-parenting with her ex-husband and its not easy. She calls me to complain how he wants to be the good dad and not work together with her on things for the daughter. Even though the child is 14, she still needs to be reprimanded at times but he wants to be the "good dad." I commend you! It is so not easy!

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