Monday, December 21, 2015

On Parenting And The Fight We Have Inside of Us

ABC Carpet&Home
No doubt about it, 2015 has been my most difficult parenting year yet. Real talk. No chaser.

But one thing that I've learned this year is to rely on and trust my mommy instincts. After all, they're there for a reason. And to fight to get Aiden what he needs. Long, hard, relentlessly. And to trust that everything will be okay. Because I'm his mother and I'll make sure of it.

Up until recently, this school year has been a struggle for Aiden. With a new visitation schedule with his other parent to a new grade to a new baby brother on the way, it all just became too much for him.

And it showed in ways that were, er, less than productive.

Instead of sitting around and waiting this thing out, I decided to meet with the leaders of his school and teachers in his classroom. Over and over and over again until we figured out a "just right" plan for him. We switched his class so now instead of having one full time teacher and one assistant teacher, he has two full time teachers. He meets with the school psychologist to talk things out when he needs to. He has an entire reward system in school -- and at home -- that he loves.

And, most importantly, he's visibly happier.


And back to being his rambunctious, sweet, loving, and kind self.

sharing secrets with Santa
Not to mention that he's more invested in his school work and in his learning. He's never had an issue academically, but his academics were affected by what he was going through. But now? Now he's taking pride in his work product, reading an entire grade level above his own, and continues to have one of the highest math scores in his class. And let's not even get started on how much he loves science and science experiments.

Now when he calls out in class, as his teachers say, "It's because of academics and because he wants to share his answers." I'll take it.

I don't share this to boast. In fact, 2015 has taught me how to be humble and extend grace to myself in this single parenting gig. Again.

Another again.

But I share this story to show the struggle. The real struggle. To show not only the successes, but the lessons learned. To show what's behind the success. The tears, the worrying, the praying, the pushing, the one step forward and two steps backwards, the praying some more... the fight.

Sometimes it boils down to how much fight you have inside of you.

Aiden and I have several December traditions that we've been embracing over the past few years. Even though I was 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant, two weeks ago, Aiden and I headed into Manhattan, took pictures with Santa, had brunch at one of our favorite spots, and spent the afternoon playing at one of our favorite playgrounds.

The entire day was perfect. And I kept reflecting on how far we've come, how much Aiden has grown, and how much strength and resilience he's shown over the past year. I remember thinking how he's going to make a great big brother whenever Baby Delicious enters this world.

Little did I know that Baby Delicious was planning on making his appearance the very next day. It was perfect timing.

I'm so glad that Aiden and I had that one last day to spend together -- with just the two of us. And it was the perfect way for me to tell him how amazing I think he is and that he amazes me... every... single... day.



  1. I truly love this. Not boastful AT ALL, just real talk and inspiring. I'm not a single mum but love to take strength from your fire and determination. This motherhood gig is NOT easy and to me you seem to mindful about it, proactive, have a clear vision and also remember to keep it fun! In my opinion, you're working well above your grade too!!! Well done hun xx

  2. I am so glad for the turnaround!! And you're so right, Aiden will be (well now, IS) a great big brother. Enjoy your full family this holiday!

  3. You take a wonderful approach to parenting. The struggle is real and you do a good job. I was in the principals office so much when my so was Aiden's age that I felt like I was in trouble. Been thru behavior modification plans and all of that...there is light at the end of the tunnel. Aiden will be a strong young man. Keep doing what you do.

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