Thursday, October 22, 2015

The Cycle of Parenthood

If you're hanging out with the Mommy Delicious crew on Facebook, then you'll know that these days, my time is spent with struggling to get Aiden over a rough patch. A really rough patch. And that I keep on repeating the same phrase: This parenting thing ain't for the wimps.

Because it ain't.

It's hard.

And draining at times and overwhelming at times and downright thankless at times.

Lately my relationship with Aiden has been only about what's going wrong, what he needs to fix, or his bad day at school. And that's been emotionally taxing. For him and me.

So this weekend I decided that what Aiden and I needed was time together. With just us. He needed my undivided attention and I needed him to see that we can still have positive interactions... even in the midst of turmoil.

On Saturday, we had Game Night. We took a trip to Target and I allowed him to pick out any board game he wanted to. Monopoly, Trouble, Candy Land, and Bounce Off were his top picks. So that's what we played when we got home. On the floor, with no smartphone, and no social media, for as long as we wanted.

We laughed and learned from each other and got to know each other. All over again. It was... glorious. And refreshing.

Aiden needed to see that my love for him is unconditional. And that our life doesn't have to be losses of privileges and scoldings and time-outs and tough talks.

It can be fun too!

On Sunday, I was tired. Because: pregnancy. But I took him bowling anyway. And to the arcade. Again, it was just us. No smartphone, no social media. Just us... laughing, learning from each other, and getting to know each other. All over again.

Is this a magic pill to fix whatever's wrong? No! But it's definitely a start.

Aiden's actions have been due in part because he's resisting and resenting change, in part because he's feeling pretty powerless with all the things he has to do, in part because he's needing and wanting attention, and in part because it's all too confusing for him. He's regressing. And it's hard and scary and overwhelming to deal with.

So I'm giving him love and affection and attention. And he's seeing the school counselor to help him during the day. And his school and I decided it was best to switch his class so that he now has two full time lead teachers in his classroom (instead of one full time lead teacher and one part time assistant teacher). The adults at his school are really trying to help him and are going above and beyond to support him during this time. I'm so grateful and thankful for them.

And HEB is spending more time with him. And my sister is checking in on him daily. Because, like I said before, I'm calling on the village to help this kid through his rough patch.

It's part of the cycle of parenthood and we're taking it moment-by-moment. Some moments are amazing and joyful. And some moments are frustrating and overwhelming. But, in the end, I know that I'll look back on this time and this cycle, smile, and thank God that we made it through.

Because we will.

1 comment:

  1. Here's to hoping that this phase passes quickly and Aiden is able to get back on track. It's great that you have a such amazing support system behind you and helping you guys navigate and get through this rough patch.


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