Friday, August 14, 2015

Baby Talk

Aiden's had a lot of questions and comments about Baby Delicious and his soon-to-be "big brother" status. Naturally. Some have been hilarious, some a little morbid, all pretty interesting. I've been trying to record them because they're too good not to remember.

Here's what I have so far:

Aiden: I'm gonna push your stomach all the way in to see if it goes down.
Me: Why?!
Aiden: Because... it used to be skinny last year!

Aiden: What should we name the baby?
Me: I want a name that starts with "A".
Aiden: The letter A? Okay. Allister. Or Alex. Yes, yes, yes... definitely Alex! Or Amy or Ally.
Me: Aiden... I'm still thinking of a name. I'll let you know when I have one, but I'll keep those in mind.

We. We?! Umm... we are not having a baby. I am having a baby and I will be picking a name for the baby. LOL.

Aiden: What are we gonna do when it's time for the baby to come out? How are we gonna get to the hospital?
Me: I dunno. What do you think we should do?
Aiden: Maybe just go downstairs and tell Mike (our building's doorman).
Me: We could take a taxi to the hospital. That's what I did when it was time for you to come out.
Aiden: But... but.. what if it really hurts and you're in a lot of pain?! What are we gonna do?!

Aiden: You know that everything you eat, the baby is eating too, right? Like there's a tube in your stomach that's connecting to the baby's stomach and all the food goes to the baby's tummy.
Me: How'd you learn that? Who taught you that?!
Aiden: *shrugs* I just know.

Aiden: Mommy, how does the doctor take the baby out of your stomach? Is there like a hole in your stomach or something?
Me: No. There's a hole in my vagina and the baby comes out through there.
Aiden: What?! But, like, how does the doctor fix it back afterwards?
Me: Fix my vagina?!
Aiden: Yeah.
Me: It just fixes itself. The female body is amazing like that.

Aiden: Is that salad good for the baby?
Me: Yes.
Aiden: Good. Then you should have the special sauce with it too.
Me: You mean, the Italian dressing? Okay.

Aiden: What happens to a mommy if a baby dies in the mommy's stomach?
Me: Well... I guess it depends. But the doctor will try to save the mommy after helping the mommy take the baby out.
Aiden: But... does the mommy die too?
Me: Hopefully not.
Aiden: I don't want you to die, mommy.

At which point I had to explain to him that both Baby Delicious and I are good and fit and healthy.

Aiden: Is that workout video for people with babies in their bellies?
Me: Why?
Aiden: Because that lady in the video has a fat tummy just like yours.

Aiden: If that baby is a girl, I'm gonna scream for my life! But if it's a boy, I won't scream.
Me: Why?
Aiden: Because... I need a boy to play with. I can't play with a girl.

Aiden: Ooh, ooh, ooh... I know what we should name the baby!
Me: What?
Aiden: Tootsie!
Me: Umm... let's keep thinking about it.

I think he's gonna be a great big brother.


  1. He definitely is!

    It's so cute that he's so aware and anxious! LOL!

  2. Aww... it sounds like Aiden wants to make sure he prepared for Baby Delicious. He's going to be such an excellent big brother!

  3. When I was getting ready to be a big sister, I was excited too! My mom had by then two boys and me,the only girl. I prayed for a little brother and I got one. AIden is going to be a great big brother

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