Friday, December 13, 2013
A Trip to The Prinicipal's Office. And Some Other Things Too.
"Okay. Okay. This is why I had to go to the Principal's office..."
That was the beginning of the conversation that I had with Aiden the other day. The end of the conversation? Very enlightening.
Because Zion was angry at Hudson, he [Zion] told Aiden to tell Hudson that he's [Aiden] not his friend anymore. And Aiden listens to Zion. Sigh.
In comes Foundue. Foundue tells a very sad and mad Hudson to tell Aiden that he's [Hudson] gonna tell his mother on Aiden. And Hudson listens to Foundue. Double sigh.
So then there was Aiden telling Hudson that he doesn't want to be friends with him anymore and Hudson telling Aiden that he's gonna tell his mama on Aiden. And all because they were listening to what other people told them to do.
So they all ended up in the Prinicpal's office.
When I spoke to Aiden about it, he said that he has to listen to Zion or else Zion won't be his friend anymore. And that Zion is funny and always making jokes so he wants to be friends with Zion.
So y'all know I gave it to him straight, right?
I went all the way in about how he doesn't have to listen to anyone who's telling him to do something that's not right -- especially not one of his classmates. I told Aiden that he has his own brain and his own thoughts and God didn't give him a brain and a mind and thoughts and feelings for him to follow someone else -- especially when they're doing the wrong thing. I said that friends don't make friends do mean things, but instead, they help each other out. I pointed out that, at that very moment, Zion was not being the bestest friend that he can be to Aiden. And I also stressed that, at that very moment, Aiden definitely wasn't being the bestest friend that he can be to Zion. Or Hudson. Because he's supposed to help his friend by setting an example and telling him not to say mean things to someone else. And he's supposed to stand up for what's right and not say mean things to another person just because someone told him to.
I asked him how he thinks Hudson felt when he said that to him. "Alone and lonely," was his response. "And you made that happen. You're the person responsible for making someone else feel badly about themselves. Is that the kind of person you want to be?" was my response.
"I know that. Because you're a kind and sweet person. And you've made better choices than that in the past so I know you can make better choices now. Don't allow anyone to tell you to do something that you know is wrong. Not ever. Because you're a leader. And you're better than that."
It's not easy instilling values in our children, and I may or may not have been too harsh. I don't know. I keep replaying the conversation in my mind and thinking about things that I want to add in the follow-up conversations that I'm going to have with Aiden about the situation.
That's the thing about parenting -- we push our kids and rethink things and second guess ourselves at times. We trust our gut and feign competence and fake it till we make it, all at the same time. It's impression management at it's finest. But we keep going until we're the best that we can be.
And until our children are the best that they can be.