Why I Know I'm Getting This Motherhood Thing Right

Because I know I'm not perfect and I know that I mess some things up. Just check last week's post about all the things I do wrong in this Motherhood game. (Yes, the "M" should be capital. Always.)

Because I'm hella intentional and hella calculated and hella reflective about my parenting practices. And I'm always trying to be better tomorrow than I am today.

Because I've learned that meditation and "Me Time" is so important to my mental health. And I allow myself to indulge in it. Frequently. And freely.

Because I'm going to therapy and working on addressing my own ish. Because ain't nothing cute about raising these incredible babies if I'm not emotionally whole first.

Because my boys are incredible. All parts of them. Even the parts that I don't always like.

Because the way Aiden loves up on August makes my soul smile.

Because the tight hugs that August gives Aiden makes my heart happy.

Because when Aiden was going through his own drama, I didn't take the easy way out by just "spanking him one time". Because I think spanking is the easy way out.

Because I knew that it wasn't about me and all the things that I already did for him. Because I knew that he needed even more than I was already doing for him at the time. So I gathered a dream team of professionals to help me help him through.

Because I'm a Mama Bear during Aiden's IEP meetings. Because Speech Therapists and Occupational Therapists and Counselors and Psychologists are bae. All of 'em.

Word.

Because I learned phrases like, "pragmatic language skills" and "graphomotor skills" and "proprioceptive pressure activities" due to Aiden receiving various types of therapy throughout the week.

Because Aiden's dream team reminds me that he's perceptive, intelligent, athletic, and hardworking. Because they also remind me that he's extremely sensory/movement seeking... for the days when I'm at my wits end and need that gentle reminder.

Because I'm not ashamed that my baby needs these types of services because he's been hella successful academically and socially this year.

Because I'm fully aware that I'm privileged to even be able to have these types of services for Aiden because not every family has access to them.

Because August loves to read books and build blocks and knock blocks over and sing his ABC's.

Because August runs into my arms every morning when he sees me.

Because the way Aiden roots for August whenever he sings a song or says a new word or does just about anything is the very definition of Big Brother Magic.

Because my boys are happy and healthy and loved.

Because I know that that's all that really matters anyhow.

On Parenting And The Fight We Have Inside of Us

ABC Carpet&Home

No doubt about it, 2015 has been my most difficult parenting year yet. Real talk. No chaser.

But one thing that I've learned this year is to rely on and trust my mommy instincts. After all, they're there for a reason. And to fight to get Aiden what he needs. Long, hard, relentlessly. And to trust that everything will be okay. Because I'm his mother and I'll make sure of it.

Up until recently, this school year has been a struggle for Aiden. With a new visitation schedule with his other parent to a new grade to a new baby brother on the way, it all just became too much for him.

And it showed in ways that were, er, less than productive.

Instead of sitting around and waiting this thing out, I decided to meet with the leaders of his school and teachers in his classroom. Over and over and over again until we figured out a "just right" plan for him. We switched his class so now instead of having one full time teacher and one assistant teacher, he has two full time teachers. He meets with the school psychologist to talk things out when he needs to. He has an entire reward system in school -- and at home -- that he loves.

And, most importantly, he's visibly happier.

Healthier.

And back to being his rambunctious, sweet, loving, and kind self.

sharing secrets with Santa

Not to mention that he's more invested in his school work and in his learning. He's never had an issue academically, but his academics were affected by what he was going through. But now? Now he's taking pride in his work product, reading an entire grade level above his own, and continues to have one of the highest math scores in his class. And let's not even get started on how much he loves science and science experiments.

Now when he calls out in class, as his teachers say, "It's because of academics and because he wants to share his answers." I'll take it.

I don't share this to boast. In fact, 2015 has taught me how to be humble and extend grace to myself in this single parenting gig. Again.

Another again.

But I share this story to show the struggle. The real struggle. To show not only the successes, but the lessons learned. To show what's behind the success. The tears, the worrying, the praying, the pushing, the one step forward and two steps backwards, the praying some more... the fight.

Sometimes it boils down to how much fight you have inside of you.

Aiden and I have several December traditions that we've been embracing over the past few years. Even though I was 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant, two weeks ago, Aiden and I headed into Manhattan, took pictures with Santa, had brunch at one of our favorite spots, and spent the afternoon playing at one of our favorite playgrounds.

The entire day was perfect. And I kept reflecting on how far we've come, how much Aiden has grown, and how much strength and resilience he's shown over the past year. I remember thinking how he's going to make a great big brother whenever Baby Delicious enters this world.

Little did I know that Baby Delicious was planning on making his appearance the very next day. It was perfect timing.

I'm so glad that Aiden and I had that one last day to spend together -- with just the two of us. And it was the perfect way for me to tell him how amazing I think he is and that he amazes me... every... single... day.

Onward.

Calling On The Village

Aiden: Can I have a piece of cake? 

Me: No. You're not getting dessert. You have to have dinner because I need to feed you, but dessert is a treat. One that you didn't earn today. So no. No dessert. 

This was the conversation that I had with Aiden earlier this week. He had a rough day at school. Another rough day at school. And so, in a moment of what-shall-I-do-about-this-issue coupled with complete frustration, I told Aiden that he earned a consequence of no dessert. 

Sigh. 

As I said before, Aiden's having a really rough time right now. Everything's new right now. He's got a new parent in his life. A new unsupervised visitation schedule. A new grade. New teachers. New baby on the way... 

The list goes on and on. 

I'm doing everything for him! Everything! How could he act this way?! What am I doing to deserve this?! All of my money is going to his schooling and babysitting and extracurricular activities! All of my time goes to taking him to visit new places and experience new things. All of my energy goes to making sure he's safe and loved and happy! How. Could. He. Do. This. To. Me?!

Yes, that was my thought process that evening. I'm human, forgive me. 

And then it hit me. It's not about me. It's not about what Aiden's doing to me. It's about Aiden's thoughts and feelings about himself and his life. And it's about his coping mechanisms. 

So I had to take a step back. And remind myself that he's feeling pretty powerless right now and trying really hard to get some power back. So I'm trying to help him. 

I'm trying to stay patient. I'm trying to stay positive. I'm trying to find ways to give him options. And to feel empowered. 

But... 

I have to admit. It's not easy. It hasn't been easy. At times, it's been downright difficult. And very exhausting. 

"Take things away from him," some people say. "Punish him," other folks say. "Give him a consequence at home," someone else said. "Give him a beating," someone else said. 

Sigh. 

I'm trying to explain to folks that I can't fix Aiden's behavior -- or help him fix his behavior -- without helping him understand where the behavior is coming from. That's the underlying issue here. I can take as many things away from him as possible and it still won't fix his behavior because I'm not addressing the actual issue. 

I want to instill character in him. And discipline. And self-control. I want him to be happy and emotionally healthy. I want others to see in him what I see in him -- a loving and caring and sweet boy with lots of potential. I want them to know that he's a pretty good kid. Because he is. 

So I've been reaching out. And asking the male mentors for help. Because, although I'm a single parent to him, I don't have to parent alone. To me, Aiden's in a crisis. And to me, this is an emergency. One that requires reaching out and praying and asking for help and showing him even more love and affection than I normally would. 

It takes a village, right? 

So I'm calling on that village. Come hell or high-water, we're gonna help Aiden smooth out this rough patch. 

The Discipline Weekly: The Road to Self-Sufficiency

More often than not, when I know he's capable, I leave Aiden to his own devices. And encourage him to solve his own problems. I've blogged about this before.

I want him to be independent.

I want him to be socially competent.

I want him to be self-sufficient.

You know what they say: A little struggle never hurt nobody. Okay, so I stole that line from Beyonce. Sort of.

But it's true, isn't it? I've learned (the hard way) that if I rush to solve all of Aiden's problems, it deprives him of learning and growing and struggling and thinking about the issue at hand all on his own.

Case in point:

Whenever Aiden asks me to do something that I know he's capable of doing all by his lonesome, I politely say, "No, but you can do it on your own." Sometimes I'll even throw in, "I think you can do such a great job at that -- much better than I could have done it when I was your age." He likes it when I say that one. A lot.

And, whenever he asks me a million and one "why" questions, sometimes, instead of getting annoyed (he's genuinely seeking new information), I'll shoot back at him, "Hmm... I don't know, why do you think?"

This gives him the opportunity to come up with his own answer. And he usually comes up with an answer that makes sense. I don't object because it's usually a pretty creative answer. And I'm usually left in awe by his overall amazingness.

What are some ways you get your children to be self-sufficient?

Share 'em in the comments.

The Discipline Weekly: Pick Your Battles

I looked over at Aiden the other day and thought to myself, "whoa... this kid is almost half my size!" I'd been so busy concentrating on getting through different developmental stages that I almost forgot to take the time out to notice his growth.

Truth is, kids grow ultra fast and I'm noticing that many "trying" times occur around growth spurts. A few weeks ago, I mentioned that Aiden was like Jekyll and Hyde -- one minute he was super sweet, the next, not so much. Turns out, the tantrums, sweet kisses, crankiness, darling hugs, obnoxiousness, cooperation, and defiance were in part due to Aiden going through a growth spurt.

Aiden and I pictured with our good friend, A, on a July 4th play date!
He's almost half my size already... amaze!

And as I not-so-quickly learned, sometimes the only thing I could do during such a time is be ultra patience and pick my battles. It's quite simple, but took me a while to "get it." But once I did, I avoided all of the threatening and annoyance and huffing and puffing when I picked my battles carefully.

Case in point:

A few weeks ago, Aiden wanted to wear his rain boats outside. It was super warm and sunny and there was no rain in the forecast. We were running late and needed to get out of the house at that moment. So... I let the kid where his rain boats. No harm, right?

A few blocks outdoors, we endured a few funny stares from onlookers (childless onlookers, of course). But the great moment happened when Aiden stated that his feet were hot. Ummm.... duh!

When I asked him what we should do about it, he suggested changing into his Crocs. Luckily, I brought them along with us.

It was a win-win for the both of us.

Be patient, especially during growth spurts.

And pick your battles very carefully. Sometimes it's not worth the fuss.

The Discipline Weekly: Reasons for Misbehavior

A few weeks ago, Aiden's head teacher approached me with not-so-good news -- she'd been having a tough couple of days with him and he was not following many of her directions. I carefully listened to her, but was a little embarrassed, if I can admit.

Now here's the geek in me: that night I went home and brain-stormed ideas to help Aiden's teacher help him. I didn't want to be that Mom who does nothing when her child's teacher gives a less than great report. But, I also didn't want to be that Mom who scolds her kid and sides with the teacher. I wanted to help them both.

As I pondered some of the reasons for Aiden's misbehavior, I realized that they usually stem around several things:

Wanting/Needing More Attention
I find that when I give Aiden attention and/or respond to his requests within the first couple of times he calls out to me, I usually get more of a positive response from him. And less whining. Gosh, I hate whining! But I digress.

Wanting More Power
Giving Aiden two choices usually works better than giving him no choices. It makes him feel included and meaningful and all that jazz. And great things happen when he feels included and meaningful and all that jazz.

Feelings of Inadequacy
Just like his mama, Aiden is a little perfectionist. He likes to succeed at things within his first few attempts at it. And boy does he have a hard time controlling his frustrations when he feels as though he is not "getting it" fast enough. I usually try to catch his frustrating feelings before it escalates into him screaming out of control because that's no fun for the both of us.

Thankfully, as I consulted with his teacher the next day and filled her in on my newfound wisdom, she nodded and stated that the tips would not only help her with Aiden, but also with the other students in the class.

That's the thing about parenting -- no matter what age you become a Mother, married or single or somewhere in-between, you become your child's advocate and biggest freakin' cheerleader. Comes with the territory, I guess...

Can you think of any other reasons for misbehavior? Share them below in the comments!

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The Discipline Weekly: One Word Fix-Its

This week it's been hot in New York City. Really hot.

And when it's hot, I can get frustrated easily. Really easily. But I tried not to let the heat get the best of me and my lack of patience this week.

How? With one word discipline strategies.

Freeze!
Aiden likes to run down the streets of NYC ahead of me. Sometimes way ahead of me. And he gets so caught up in running that he forgets to stop before he reaches the corner. I don't like that one bit. But instead of yelling, "didn't I tell you to stop before you get to the corner?," I say one word long before he gets to the corner: freeze! He loves it and thinks we're playing a game. It's a win-win situation for the both of us.

Scooter!
Aiden loves to ride his scooter all around the house. From the bedroom to the living room to the balcony to the kitchen, he's just a little scooting machine. But the rule is that when he is finished scooting, he has to put his scooter back where it belongs. Usually he's really good with remembering, but this week, eh, not so much. So instead of being annoyed and driving the both of us crazy, I've simply been saying, "scooter!" and he proceeds to return his scooter to its rightful place.

Toilet!
I'm training Aiden to flush the toilet when he is finished doing his business. Yes, I expect my 3-year-old to flush every time he uses the bathroom. I don't think it's asking to much from him. But he forgets sometimes. And when he does, I simply say, "toilet!" after which he proceeds to flush.

Try it out. I've found that it certainly beats saying, "How many times do I have to tell you _______?" or "Didn't I tell you not to ______?" or "Don't you listen to me when I speak?"

One word. That's all.

Try not to overdo it too much though because it can quickly turn into nagging. And nobody likes a nagger.

The Discipline Weekly: The Wonders Of Positive Reinforcement

If you've been following me on Twitter lately, you would see that Aiden and I are right in the thick of the terrible, thunderous three's. And it aint no joke. One minute my lovely little preschooler is all sweet and cooperative, the next, eh, not so much.

This would drive me crazy, except it's totally developmentally appropriate. So I'm being totally child-centered and adjusting to his needs as best as I can. And I'm taking you along for the ride. In what I've dubbed The Discipline Weekly, each Friday I'll feature some quick and easy technique that's been working for me and helping me through this trying precious time.

First up, the very basic: positive reinforcement.

Positive reinforcement works wonders! I can't stress that enough.

But here's the trick, don't just compliment the kid by saying, "Good job" and "I'm so proud of you." That can get kind of tired, especially when it comes off as phony or insincere.

Compliment the action, and not just the actor. Try to be as specific as possible. For instance, you can say, "I really like the way you said 'please and thank-you'" or "I see you worked really hard at remembering to put your toys back where they belong, good job!"

Bottom line: find something good that your kid did and praise the heck out of that action. And you will surely see more of that particular behavior because they want to please you.

If you don't catch them doing that particular behavior, believe you me, they'll point it out for you by saying, "Mommy, look at me! I'm doing [insert desired behavior here]!"

If you have the energy to consistently do this, I guarantee you this will work wonders in your household... or your money back. Oh wait, you're not paying for this awesomeness.

But really, there have been many times that I was too tired to do anything else and I turned to my fallback plan -- positive reinforcement. And in that moment, if I could have kissed the person who came up with this, I would have.

Try it out and let me know how it works in the comments!

Does Talking Really Work Better Than Time-outs?

Hey Lovelies!

Aiden turned 3-years-old two weeks ago. Woohoo! And he picked up a new less-than-appropriate behavior too. Boohoo. Is there a such thing as the "terrible threes"? Because someone should have really warned me about it.
All of a sudden, the kid sticks out his tongue and makes a spitting sound (I think that's what they call 'making raspberries', but I'm not quite sure).

Anyways... I. Can't. Stand. It. When. He. Does. That.

But hey...the joys of parenting.

The first time he did it was to the doorman of our apartment building. I was completely shocked because Aiden has a good relationship with our doorman and is normally nice to him. I was like, What on Earth?! Did that sound just come from my sweet baby boy?! I hate to admit this, but in my frenzy, when we got upstairs to our apartment, I invited Aiden to his time-out chair. And he went. Thing is, I didn't fully explain to him what the unacceptable behavior was so I'm pretty sure he was a tad-bit confused. Sigh.

He did it a few more time throughout the weekend, but nothing beats when we were in the elevator of our apartment building. To an old lady who was just tryna say "hey." I was shocked again. I mean, didn't I "take care" of this earlier in the weekend?

But even more than shocked, I was embarrassed because I didn't even have a chance to apologize to her before she looked at Aiden, looked at me, and then shook her head. Ouch, lady... that hurt!

There I stood in the elevator, frozen. There she stood in the elevator, shaking her head. And then there was Aiden in-between us, sticking his tongue out and making raspberries. Sigh. I was so embarrassed. Her looked shamed me. I walked out of the elevator covered in shame.

As Aiden and I walked out when we got to our floor, I was a gal of many thoughts: What was she thinking of me? Of young mothers in general? What was she thinking of Aiden? I didn't have the opportunity to tell her it's just a phase and he's actually a good kid. I was silenced.

When we got to our apartment, I scolded Aiden. "We don't do that when people say hello to us; go to the time-out chair." He probably was thinking, "huh?" But he went to the chair.

As he sat in time-out, I sat in the kitchen thinking, Okay, what just happened? Let's have a do-over and make this right. So I called him over and TALKED to the kid about it. Our conversation went like this:

Me: Aiden, when you do that to people who say "hi" to you, it hurts their feelings.
Aiden: (listening intently) okay.
Me: It makes them very sad, like this (frowning to show him a sad face)
Aiden: Okay.
Me: And it makes mommy really sad too.
Aiden: Mommy... I not gonna do it again. (Notice he didn't say "I'm not going to do it again...oh the language of a 3-year-old.)

But just like that, he stopped. At least for now. Since then, whenever we're in the elevator or outdoors, he says "hello" to people who greet him.

And all it took was a little talk. Not time-out.

But hey, I live and I learn.

Smooches,
SweetAl

9 Effective Discipline Strategies That Helped Me Enjoy My Toddler

Hey Lovelies!

I'm better at being a student than I am at being a mother.

What can I say? I've been a student for 16 consecutive years, went on a 3-year hiatus, and then it was back to being a student for another 2 years. From elementary to middle school to high school to college and now graduate school, I've mastered the skills to get good grades, learned effective study strategies, read the books, conducted the research, written the long papers, and done the problem sets. When it comes to succeeding in school, I'm golden! A veteran student.

When it comes to succeeding at motherhood, eh... not so much. Seriously. I've only been doing this motherhood thing for about 3 years so I consider myself a total rookie. A novice mommy.

But I'm learning the ropes. I'm learning how not to make my life and my relationship with Aiden one big power struggle after another. This may sound strange, but I want to be able to enjoy my son. And enjoy our time together because he's growing up so fast!

So I've dug deep into my bag of tricks and pulled out several tricks that have helped me along the way. 2 years, 11 months, 18 days, and counting... here it is:

Temper tantrums = cry it out, calm down, THEN let's talk it over. That applies whether we're at home, at swimming, in a store, or outside where everyone is staring... and judging. I cannot try to calm him down because it proves to be pointless. He cries and yells more, I get more frustrated, and as a result, he cries EVEN more. No more of that. If people want to stare, let 'em stare. If people want to judge, let 'em judge. When I remain calm, Aiden calms down and then we discuss the issue at hand. No, I cannot buy you ANOTHER truck set at Target, but you CAN help me pick out some apple juice.

Sometimes my expectations are just too high. I guess I somehow thought that since he's [slightly] older now, it would be easier. So not true. With each age and stage, there are different challenges. And, as he turns 3-years-old, I'm reminding myself that sometimes my expectations of him are too high. So I have to adjust them to his capabilities and needs. Like when he's engaged in an activity and I tell him that it's time to go take a bath. What soon-to-be 3-year-old would want to stop working on a fun floor puzzle to take a bath and put pajamas on?! Umm... yea.

So I ask again in another way. Aiden, why don't you clean up your puzzle so you can pick out which toy you'd like to bring in the bath tub with you? Ta-dah! A cooperating toddler!

The appearance of choices = toddler empowerment. Really. Instead of saying, "Here are the sneakers you have to wear today," which only leads to a power struggle, gets me aggravated, AND makes me late for work, I give him the appearance of choices. I pick out two sneakers that are appropriate for him to wear that day, hold 'em up, and ask, "Aiden, which sneakers would you like to wear?" He feels empowered and I feel happy that I won't be late for work.

Besides, that authoritarian, my-way-or-the-highway thinking almost NEVER works. Who thought of that anyway? Hitler?!

Positive reinforcement is my new best friend. Really, we're cool like peanut butter and jelly. Aiden, you did such a good job cleaning up your toys. Yay! He smiles as a happy baby and I smile as a happy mommy. Love it!

But on the contrary, there are clear expectations for actions. Case in point: When we're walking down the street, if Aiden is feeling independent and doesn't want to sit in his stroller or hold my hand, then he must walk next to me. If he runs away, it's back in the stroller or back to holding my hand. No exceptions. The streets of NYC are too narrow for him to run far away. Now, when we're at the playground, it's a different story...

Pick my battles. All of a sudden, the kid wants to take his scooter out every time we go outside. Every time. If we're heading to preschool, I object to his demand. But if we're just heading to the bank or to run some other type of errand, why the heck not? I pick my battles, and we just spend a few minutes with him riding his scooter at the playground before finishing our errands. He has his fun and I cross something else off of my to-do list.

Distractions works wonders. If Aiden is doing something that I told him 1000 times before not to do it, like jumping on the couch, instead of scolding him, I distract him. Aiden, why don't you come over here to help me pick out which book you'd like to read? Whew! Crisis averted. [Psss... just so you know, this also works wonders for calming down temper tantrums.]

Talk TO him, not AT him. It can be really scary for a toddler to have someone hovering over them in an aggressive way. I find that Aiden is much more receptive when I get down to his level, look him in the eye, and tell him my request. Aiden, it's time to go; I need you to put on your jacket really quickly. Okay? Viola!

So there you have it. That's just some of the things that has helped me enjoy my time with my toddler thus far. For more examples of effective discipline strategies, check out 6 Things I Wished I'd Known Before The Terrible-Twos.

Smooches,

SweetAl

6 Things I Wish I'd Known Before the "Terrible Twos"

Hey Lovelies,

Aiden is 2 1/2 years old, 32 months to be exact. That means he is well into his "terrible twos." And boy, has it been a crazy roller-coaster ride so far! We've had good days, and not-so-good days, and I've learned a bit along the way. Here are some things I wish I learned before he turned two:

1. Long gone are the days of doing things "because I said so." I've learned that Aiden needs an explanation as to why I expect him to do certain things. This works especially if I want him to internalize it and just do it... without to much prompting (or nagging) from mommy.

2. Forget the "what I say goes" attitude. This goes hand-in-hand with #1. Sometimes it's totally okay to negotiate with a kid. Case in point: We usually read one book before going to bed, but sometimes Aiden asks to read two books, and that's totally cool.

3. Positive reinforcement works WAY better than punishment. The thing about punishment (as in, when I take something away from Aiden as a result of him doing something I don't like) is that it is a way for me to gain control over a situation that I've lost control over. It helps me feel better and Aiden feel worse. Plus (and this is a big one!) it shows him what not to do, but it does not show him what I'd like him to do instead. I've learned that if I model for him what I'd like him to do, and praise him every time he does it, it works wonders. Really.

4. Turn the "nay" into a "yay." Let me explain. It's totally developmentally appropriate for Aiden to respond with the word "no" for just about everything. And it's totally frustrating for me to hear it. But me saying "no" to him all the time does not help the situation either. I've learned that saying "yes" to him almost always works better. It goes a little something like this -- Aiden: mommy, I want to watch Barney; Me: yes, as soon as you eat your snack. This has worked better than me saying, "no, eat your snack first." And, apparently, it works both ways. The other night I said, "Aiden, let's go take a bath" and he responded, "okay, when Barney is over."

5. Tailor some of my expectations. It was about a month after his 2nd birthday party when I realized that I was expecting way too much from Aiden. It was totally unreasonable to expect so much from someone who has only been on this earth for 25 months! No, he won't sit still for 45 minutes while we're on the city bus. No, he won't stop whining when he really wants something. No, he won't share his things. Not without me teaching him anyway.

6. Put my big-girl pants on and be more thick-skinned. Kids throw tantrums. In public. A lot. And if I were more thick-skinned and less concerned with what others had to say, it would have been less embarrassing the first time Aiden threw a tantrum in public. And 2nd, and 3rd, and 5th... you get the point. Once I put my big-girl pants on and dealt with it, it became much easier to focus on Aiden and less on his audience.

Knowing these things before Aiden hit two would have made the "terrible twos" more manageable. But hey, experience is your best teacher, right?

Smooches,

SweetAl

Sharing Is Caring... Or So They Say

Hey Lovelies!

During the entire time Aiden was 1-year-old, he loved, loved, LOVED to share pretty much all of his things. If he had had it and you wanted it, it was yours. Easy. So simple. I was amazed at how he was able to share his things and I gave myself a pat on the back for teaching him how to share. I thought that all those articles I read about in the magazines and on blogs about babies who didn't like to share were totally exaggerating. Obviously it was the caregivers who didn't teach and encourage their little ones to share. Right? Wrong!

Enter age two. And all of a sudden I have a full-blown toddler on my hands who just goes around snatching things that weren't even his to begin with and says "mine, mine, mine!" Was he a bit irrational? Yes! But was he very serious when he called the [insert amazing toy here] his? Yes! What the heck was I thinking when I didn't listen to the advice from those articles?! How the heck did I go from being the mother of a super sweet baby boy who loved to share to this irrational toddler who seems to think that the world revolves around him and his every desire? So I did the research and here's what I found:

He acts like the world revolves around him because in his sweet little toddler mind, he actually thinks that the world revolves around him. Duh, Alicia! Toddlers tend to be egocentric, which means that for the most part, they view their peers and others around them as mere objects who should respond to their every wish and want.

That's it! It's that simple. His ability to share at the age of 1 came from nothing great that I had done, and his inability to share at the age of 2 comes from nothing awful that I am doing. It has more to do with the stages that he -- and most kids for that matter -- is going through. And as with all stages of development, whenever I see that it is hard for him to share, I chant to myself over and over and over again, "this too, shall pass... this too, shall pass..."

Smooches,

SweetAl